Published: May 29, 2026 (TheOnion.com)
Relighting her Torch
We cannot meet the challenge of this moment without a reactivation of our moral imagination. (Plus a reminder about next week’s book club…)
| Marianne Williamson May 29, 2026 |
(John Hudson)
This weekend I’m in Paris, where today I saw an original 1/16-scale bronze version of the Statue of Liberty at the Musee D’Orsay. I felt rather numb gazing at it, thinking of all the memes over the last few year or so of Lady Liberty bent over weeping. With our 250th birthday only weeks away, we have much to consider….about our country….and about ourselves.
Frederic Auguste Bartholdi, the designer and sculptor of the Statue of Liberty, said these words in 1898:
The experience of the old is not a motor: it is only a lamppost, warning against dangers; the light that illuminates the long path ahead is you, the youth, who are holding its torch; it is you who are to illuminate the future and its obscurities.
We’re living in that future now, and to say it’s filled with obscurities is an understatement. Never has there been a more important moment to consider America’s meaning. Not just our policies, our economy, or even our history. Our meaning. That, more than anything else – should we embrace it an understand it – will carry us through this awful hour.
On the base of the Statue of Liberty is inscribed the poem The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus. Poet and activist Lazarus dedicated her poem to the refugees she was aiding at the time, applying for asylum from anti-Semitic pogroms in Eastern Europe. It’s worth reading every word of the poem, slowly and aloud to yourself. I’ll warn you now that it might break your heart.
THE NEW COLOSSUS
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
It’s worth asking, what has happened to us? We have gone from that poem…to concentration camps. Literally. To concentration camps. To Dilley in Texas, and Delaney Hall in New Jersey, and Alligator Alcatraz in Florida. Nothing could be more of a spit in the face to Lady Liberty, to Emma Lazarus, or to every brave American before us who has struggled and sacrificed for this country. Yet the darkness those detainment camps represent – and all the other assaults on our freedom today – will not prevail.
Millions of Americans are making sure Lady Liberty’s torch is held high, and we will continue to. From people protesting in the streets of Minneapolis, to judges all over the country who are standing up to the Administration’s corruption and criminality, to every American who will stand up for our democracy on November 3rd, her light has not gone out. And it will never go out, as long as it lives in us.
John Donne gets to the heart of RHS (Releasing the Hidden Splendour)
Portrait by Isaac Oliver, 1616
“And who understands? Not me, because if I did I would forgive it all.”
~ John Donne
John Donne was an English poet, scholar, soldier and secretary born into a recusant family, who later became a cleric in the Church of England. Under royal patronage, he was made Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral in London. He is considered the preeminent representative of the metaphysical poets. Wikipedia
Born January 22, 1572, London, United Kingdom
Died March 31, 1631 (age 59 years), London, United Kingdom
Edvard Munch: “Evening on Karl Johan” (1892)
Adult filmmakers seek San Francisco Mayor Daniel Lurie lookalike for gay porn
By Zara Irshad, Staff Writer May 27, 2026 (SFChronicle.com)
Gift Article
A new adult film production is looking for a Mayor Daniel Lurie impersonator, according to posters spotted around San Francisco. Jana Ašenbrennerová/For the S.F. Chronicle
Daniel Lurie may be known for his lighthearted Instagram reels, but a new casting call seeks to place the San Francisco mayor’s likeness in a not-so-family-friendly scenario.
“Daniel Lurie impersonator Needed For: Gay Adult Film,” read posters spotted in the Castro and Haight-Ashbury neighborhoods last week.
The X-rated project is being put together by a group of self-proclaimed San Francisco natives. Its title, “Let’s Blow San Francisco,” riffs off Lurie’s popular “Let’s go San Francisco” rallying cry.
The adult film, which is still searching for funding, would “star a fictionalized version of Mayor Daniel Lurie interacting with his fellow San Franciscans,” one of the individuals behind the project, who goes by the name Scooter, told the Chronicle via email. “From regular community members, to police officers, and beyond.”
In addition to being 18 years or older and striking a physical resemblance to the mayor, applicants must also be able to copy Lurie’s voice and mannerisms. Those interested can email the filmmakers a two-minute-long clip of their best Lurie impersonation.
The Chronicle has reached out to Lurie’s office for comment.
An X-rated Lurie impersonator may seem an unconventional ask, but for someone with the mayor’s public popularity, it was just a matter of time. The Chronicle’s most recent poll shows that Lurie is extremely popular for a big city mayor, with 74% of respondents approving of his performance in office so far.
Scooter said that they have received some inquiries for the role, but are still on the hunt for their Lurie lookalike.
“We’ve had some suspicions that people may be reluctant to want to think or admit that they look like Daniel Lurie,” Scooter wrote. “However, we think that this is a great quality.”
Scooter’s team initially planned to pool their own money together to fund the production of the film, but the buzz around the posters has prompted them to now explore the possibility of using product placement to finance the project.
Indeed, the social media response to the casting has been enthusiastic, with many cracking jokes about the casting and some declaring: “San Francisco is back.”
May 27, 2026
Staff Writer
Zara Irshad is the Chronicle’s Arts & Entertainment Engagement Reporter. She joined the Chronicle as a summer 2023 intern for the Datebook team. She is a recent graduate of UC San Diego, where she studied communications. She previously interned for the San Diego Union-Tribune and wrote for her campus newspaper, the Guardian, where she served as editor-in-chief. Irshad was part of the honors program for her major and double-minored in world literature and film studies.
Listerine Leaves 0.1% Of Germs Alive To Spread Message Of Terror Throughout Microbial Community
Published: May 28, 2026 (TheOnion.com)
SUMMIT, NJ—In a surprise attack of astonishing brutality, oral cavity sources confirmed Thursday that the Listerine inside a local mouth was leaving 0.1% of germs alive in order to spread a message of terror throughout the microbial community. “The mouthwash killed my entire colony and then told me to bear witness to the horrors I saw today,” said a rod-shaped Porphyromonas gingivalis,adding that its cell wall was nearly dissolved when suddenly the 20 milliliters of antiseptic liquid retreated, leaving the bacterium with severe but nonfatal injuries. “The Listerine viciously wiped out our entire community. There was nothing left but a wasteland covered in piles of dead cell membranes. It laughed and told us that even God fears the minty power of Listerine.” Sources later refused to verify rumors that shell-shocked survivors had taken refuge inside a decayed tooth.
What To Know About Pope Leo’s Encyclical On AI
Published: May 28, 2026 (TheOnion.com)
Pope Leo XIV published his first encyclical Monday, warning about the dangers of artificial intelligence. Here’s what you need to know about the document.
Q: What is an encyclical?
A: It’s like a company-wide email, except this one is skeptical of AI.
Q: What is the encyclical titled?
A: Magnifica_Humanitas_final.docx
Q: Were any AI companies or products mentioned by name?
A: Pope Leo specifically called out the Domino’s customer support bot.
Q: Why did the pope write about AI?
A: The Vatican’s SEO rankings have been plummeting for months.
Q: What impact will this have on the public perception of AI?
A: ChatGPT usage is already down 24% among little old Italian women.
Q: How can I read the encyclical?
A: By opening it in a browser tab you might get to in a couple of weeks.
Q: What is his most controversial point?
A: That human life is beautiful and worth saving.
Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity
Published: May 27, 2026 (TheOnion.com)
BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that she was in a codependent relationship with the rest of humanity. “Sometimes things will be great with me and the human race, but then I start to worry that I don’t really have an identity outside of how everyone on earth views me,” said Vasques, confirming that her taste in areas such as entertainment, sports, politics, food, and religion had been heavily influenced by the views of human civilization. “I can get really anxious and upset if I don’t accomplish my goals, but then I realize that I’m only doing a lot of this stuff for the benefit of society. I’m basically obsessed, and yet a lot of times I feel like the global population barely knows that I exist.” Vasques added that she might need to cut herself off from the rest of humanity for a while before eventually giving things a shot again with a different species.
Influential Tech Founder Says His Peers Are Suffering From Mass AI Psychosis
“CEOs are uniquely prone to AI psychosis because they’re sufficiently distant from the last mile of work that still has to happen to generate most value with AI.”
By Joe Wilkins
Published May 28, 2026 (Futurism.com)
It’s no secret that many of the world’s top CEOs are obsessed with AI. By pursuing lofty goals of complete AI automation, these executives have created one of the largest financial bubbles in recent memory while transforming the job market into a barren wasteland, with little to show for their efforts so far.
As the top tech companies have yet to find a way to turn AI into a profitable venture, those decisions to go all-in on AI are looking increasingly delusional. According to Aaron Levie, CEO and founder of the massive cloud computing company Box, there’s a simple explanation for it: many of his colleagues are suffering from AI psychosis.
“CEOs are uniquely prone to AI psychosis because they’re sufficiently distant from the last mile of work that still has to happen to generate most value with AI,” Levie wrote on X-formerly-Twitter. Translation: AI-happy CEOs are out of touch with the rank-and-file workers tasked with making their AI ambitions come to life.
As an example, Levie offers cases in which corporate executives say “look I made this awesome product prototype” with an AI chatbot. “Yes but you didn’t have to review the code before it went into production and fix a bunch of issues,” he retorts.
Whether “AI psychosis” is the best metaphor for this concept is up for debate. Arguably the most common definition of AI psychosis is that it’s a phenomenon where extreme interactions with AI triggers or amplifies delusions or paranoia, sometimes already existing and sometimes seemingly newly cooked up with the AI. The symptoms can be extreme, with AI chatbots convincing victims that they’re communing with God-like entities, or have singlehandedly uncovered a grave threat to humankind.
There are indeed some executives who seem to fit the bill. Last year, Futurism reported that colleagues of Geoff Lewis, managing partner of the multi-billion dollar investment firm Bedrock, were concerned that he was suffering from a break with reality after spending too much time with ChatGPT (ironically, Bedrock was an early investor in OpenAI.) In that case, Lewis had claimed to be mapping an incomprehensible “non-governmental system” that was designed to disrupt his life.
That said, there’s a major gap between an exec believing they’re targeted by a vast conspiratorial network and an exec buying into AI hype. The phenomenon Levie is identifying might better fall under “organizational blindness,” a known phenomenon where leaders of a company find themselves disconnected from the reality of work on the ground. Coupled with a ravenous hunger for profit, this kind of tunnel vision seems to be exactly what we’re seeing in companies around the globe.
In today’s world, many executives and managers operate at an abstract level, working via spreadsheets, emails and Zoom meetings. This is different from concrete labor, meaning the specific, friction-heavy tasks that workers perform, like writing code or wiring server racks. When a board-room full of executives loses sight of this tangible labor — by failing to consider the kinds of tasks AI chatbots are actually good at, for example — it can certainly create a break from material reality, though one driven by social factors rather than psychological.
In other words, there are two possibilities: either the world’s CEOs are losing their minds, or they’re just succumbing to the latest manifestation of capitalism run amok. Occam’s razor probably suggests the latter.
More on AI and CEOs: 99 Percent of CEOs Are Preparing to Lay Off Workers and Replace Them With AI Within Two Years, Survey Finds
Joe Wilkins
Correspondent
I’m a tech and labor correspondent for Futurism, where my beat includes the role of emerging technologies in governance, surveillance, and labor.
