“Can you develop autism?”
Published in neurodiversified
1 day ago (Medium.com)
Can you develop autism?
In a word: No.
“Why does it seem like I have (or someone I know has) become ‘more Autistic’?”
There could be many reasons for this:
- Maybe we’ve become more comfortable with you and have started masking less
- We may be developing greater self-awareness and are getting to know ourselves better, allowing us to let our true selves show
- Changes in our lives (stress levels, hormonal changes, neurological maturity, etc., etc.) can impact certain things such as executive functioning, ability to mask, and our need to engage in self-soothing behaviours or practice self-care
- Maturity may also lead to reduced concerns about social expectations, making less effort to “fit in”, and feeling more confidence to be ourselves
- Sometimes addressing underlying or co-occurring conditions (such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, sleep issues, etc.) which were masking our Autism allows our Autistic traits to become more noticeable
Late-in-life identification
For folks whose Autistic traits may not have been as obvious when they were growing up, they may have been overlooked.
Many parents are diagnosed after their children, when they recognize a lot of similarities in their own experience and decide to pursue their own assessment (or self-diagnose).
There can be a long grieving and unmasking process as a person considers, accepts, and embraces their newly-discovered identity. We often experience disbelief, anger, imposter syndrome, sadness, confusion — a roller-coaster of emotions.
Working through these feelings and coming to welcome and celebrate this different view of ourselves can be a liberating experience. As we get to know our authentic selves and engage with the Autistic community, we may feel freer to reveal those unique and quirky aspects of ourselves which we’d previously suppressed.
Unmasking Autism
This self-suppression may have been conscious or unconscious — likely a bit of both — depending on our experiences growing up. Some people were bullied or mistreated due to being different and hid parts of themselves as a necessary act of self-protection.
Others may have unconsciously internalized social norms and expectations, not even realizing we’d been forcing ourselves to do something that didn’t quite feel right, in order to avoid sticking out.
Most of us have had both of these experiences and the process of unmasking and self-discovery is ongoing. I would estimate I’ve been working at unmasking for about 4–5 years, and I’m still discovering things I do (or don’t do) as a result of unconscious masking.
It can be painful
While this process can be incredibly freeing, it can also be intensely painful. We look back at our lives and see ways our suffering or hardships may have been avoided if we’d had the necessary supports or information.
We might feel anger about how our needs or differences were invalidated, dismissed, even punished.
As we unmask, we may even find there are some people in our lives who don’t accept this “new” (more genuine) version of our personalities. They may like the masked us better. That hurts like hell.
We may encounter people who don’t believe us, who don’t take our struggles seriously because we seemed to be “doing fine” before. What they don’t understand is just because they can’t see the internal struggles doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
It’s not “put on”
If a person seems to be “acting” more Autistic than they previously did, this does not mean they are putting it on. What it could mean is this process of self-discovery has allowed us to learn new ways of coping and of thriving.
For example: stimming. Stimming is commonly hidden or suppressed because it is perceived as odd or unusual by people who don’t understand Autism.
This could be intentional, such as children being told to “quiet” their hands, to stop flapping or twirling or doing whatever behaviours they used for self-regulation which were deemed “abnormal”. It can also be an unconscious process whereby we observe others and learn through experience what is accepted and what is punished or mocked.
Upon embracing our true inner selves, we may discover (or rediscover) that stimming does help us regulate. It can be calming, soothing, and just plain enjoyable. We can now see those people were wrong to tell us to stop, and give ourselves permission to listen to our bodies again.
Noticing that a person is doing something more now than they used to doesn’t mean they’re exaggerating. It could very well mean we’ve shed those old, harmful expectations and are giving ourselves what we needed all along.
We don’t develop Autism
No one “develops” Autism, except in utero. It is highly heritable, meaning it’s inherited through genetics.
Autism is dynamic, meaning a person’s needs and capabilities fluctuate from one day to the next, but Autism doesn’t go away (thankfully!), nor does it develop later in life.
Autism is part of our nervous systems, and an important part of who we are.
We can finally shed those old, harmful expectations and give ourselves what we needed all along.
© Jillian Enright, Neurodiversity MB
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·Editor for neurodiversified
She/they. Neurodivergent, 20+ yrs SW & Psych. experience. I write about mental health, neurodiversity, education, and parenting. Founder of Neurodiversity MB.