Nation Perplexed By 16-Year-Old Who Doesn’t Want World To End

September 23, 2019 (theonion.com)

Illustration for article titled Nation Perplexed By 16-Year-Old Who Doesn’t Want World To End
Photo: The Onion

NEW YORK—Following her U.N. address about the existential threat posed by a rapidly warming planet, citizens across the United States confirmed Monday they were perplexed by Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg, a 16-year-old who apparently has no desire to see the world end. “I know she’s from another country, but she’s still a teenager, right?” said 33-year-old Sophia Williams of Kenosha, WI, her confusion reportedly shared by millions of Americans who recalled that during their own adolescence they had hated the world and everyone in it and had felt the end couldn’t come fast enough. “I don’t understand why a high school kid like her isn’t locking herself in her bedroom and writing bad poetry about how nothing matters and everything is meaningless. Instead of going around the world and giving speeches in which she urges people to save the planet, shouldn’t she be commiserating with her friends about how pointless life is and how we’d all be better off dead? I just don’t get it.” At press time, an online survey found that a majority of Americans agree someone should make sure Thunberg’s parents are aware of her unusual behavior in case she needs to seek help.

One thought on “Nation Perplexed By 16-Year-Old Who Doesn’t Want World To End”

  1. Aloha All,
    You’re dead, wrong (ego past living) anyone who(m) thinking, which culminates into a construct, subconscious acceptance, belief. That this ? is going to end? How can so called humanity end what the universe, principle, mathematical construction created, balderdash? You’re world view, might end, and maybe you with it? You’re speaking through you’re emotional expectations, that were in error from you’re lack of understanding, whom your expectations were based from? We all agreed on the social reference’s we were born into, be they approvals, or disapprovals? We all were born into familiar, perhaps temporarily forgotten social contracts, relationships, environment? Now we must newly sensualize, our understanding of logical, emotional constructs, localized, and universalized into a new ( Gratitude), ??. Based on emotional logic, renewed constructs, reengineering our emotional mind, ? view. If, when we observe correctly, our ?, environment, oh how glorious our relationships maybe? Tree’s love us, all plant life love’s us, animal’s share themselves with us, we are god’s of this ?. When Sophia created our ?, for her mate God, this was the Ultimate Eros, and God was well Pleased? Thus, should we not share in Sophia’s Gift to her well pleased Eros????.
    I have two tool’s for this reengineering emotional mind, 1st) Translation: Aristotelian syllogistic reasoning. First do your own research regardless of confusion, look online at Aristotelian syllogism.
    2nd) Releasing( you’re) hidden splendor, (R.H.S.) why is it hidden, You’re ego’s talk to much, and loudly, or often? If you’re unscrupulous conscious mind, gets a message into your subconscious mind, it manifests, whether you agree or not? We are all on the Autism spectrum, this spectrum has no limits? Einstein, Aristotle, Plato, Buddha were all Autistic, thus each person adjusted their point’s, perceptions, constructs according to their renewed understand of observing nature, correctly. Through gratitude, and appreciation, of the dancing of life, to It’s own rhythm and harmony??.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *