Category Archives: Masculinity

Pete Hegseth’s Obsession With Manhood Is Nuts

Pete Hegseth, testifies, Senate Armed Services Committee, hearing
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth testifies during the Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on the Defense Department’s budget request on April 30, 2026. Photo credit: © Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call via ZUMA Press

US Politics

Milicent Cranor 08/17/26 (WhoWhatWhy.org)

The secretary of war puts the T in toxic masculinity.

Last month, Pete Hegseth, US secretary of war — and I do mean war — further polluted the air already fouled with misinformation: He amplified the false impression circulated by the online manosphere that high testosterone levels make one a better fighter.

This seems to have led many civilian men to seek out sources — legitimate or not — to get this manly hormone into their systems, whether they need it or not. (And if they don’t need it, they may suffer the dreadful effects of its abuse — such as testicle shrinkage!)

As you probably know, Hegseth demanded that all soldiers over the age of 30 have their testosterone levels tested. And look at the language he used:

He wants a “High-T Department of War.”

He wants soldiers on the “leading edge of lethality.”

And if a “warfighter’s” testosterone is found to be deficient, he has the “option” of getting hormone replacement therapy. (Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gets such therapy, and he is definitely lethal, though not as a soldier. His decisions on vaccines have resulted in untold death and misery.) 

Since our soldiers in the Middle East do their killing not by hand-to-hand combat but by operating lethal machinery — the role of “High T” in modern warfare is not clear to me. 

Possibly Hegseth believes a man with high testosterone will be not only physically, but psychologically fit; that is, he should have the right lethal attitude. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Ironically, some of the most lethal, most murderous leaders in history — men who ordered others to kill — apparently had low levels of testosterone themselves. There is some truth in this British World War II song, at least as it applies to Hitler:

Hitler! He only had one ball,

Göring had two but they were very small,

Himmler had something sim’ler

But Herr Goebbels had no balls at all.

Adolf Hitler apparently did have only one ball — although the cause of his condition is still being debated.

And then there’s Napoleon, another killer. He had a condition known as “micropenis.” His doctor surreptitiously removed the organ during his autopsy and, ever since, it has been passed around, unpreserved, in a small presentation box, to various collectors.   

The organ has been described as a “shriveled eel” and “a bit of beef jerky.” Of course in its dried out state, it wouldn’t look its best, but indications are, his equipment was abnormally small.

And there’s other evidence Napoleon’s testosterone levels may have been beneath Hegseth’s standards. According to Napoleon’s doctor, François Antommarchi, after stepping out of his bath, the Emperor said to him (translations vary): 

“See Doctor, what lovely arms, what smooth white skin without a single hair! What rounded breasts — any beauty would be proud of a bosom like mine.” 

In addition to Hitler and Napoleon, there are droll stories about lethal contemporary characters — men you can’t avoid reading about every day — men whose names I shall not mention. 

These stories describe in detail what some would characterize as “embarrassing inadequacies” (not necessarily hormone related), that could be especially triggering to an appearance-obsessed, malignant narcissist. You can guess who they are. Google is gagging over the inquiries.

But what these unmentioned men — with their unmentionable private issues — truly lack is a conscience. And to a degree that is grotesque. Their actions have resulted in countless deaths and ruined lives.

***

I wonder what Hegseth’s own testosterone levels are.

And I wonder if he knows how much alcohol diminishes one’s testosterone levels.

A doctor once told me about all the drunks he’d seen down in the Bowery who had full heads of hair — owing to low levels of testosterone thanks to booze. According to the peer-reviewed medical journal Andrology, which reported the results of multiple analyses involving 10,199 men:

“The meta-analysis showed that alcohol consumption overall is related to significant reduction in circulating concentrations of total testosterone.”

(Note to the technically inclined: Men and women both have testosterone and estrogen, but in different proportions. In a man, low testosterone results in “unopposed estrogen,” which in turn results in nice head hair, but low body hair. On the other hand, if a woman is very low in estrogen, she has “unopposed testosterone” and may have sparse head hair, but a full mustache.)

Pete Hegseth certainly has plenty of hair on his head that is probably his own — and for decades, apparently, he’s had plenty of alcohol in his system.

Whistleblowers from the Concerned Veterans for America (CVA), led by Hegseth until 2016, alleged that he was repeatedly drunk while performing official duties. More recently (December 3, 2024), NBC News published this story, based on interviews with 10 current and former Fox employees: “Pete Hegseth’s Drinking Worried Colleagues at Fox News.” And Hegseth’s former sister-in-law alleged in an affidavit that Hegseth was frequently drunk, during which time he abused his wife.

Hegseth denies these stories. Of course he does. Just as he denied texting overly specific war plans on Signal. (Go here for choice details.) 

In any case, it sounds like he’s had more than a drink or two.

Besides alcohol, recreational drugs like heroin and cocaine affect testosterone levels, which may explain why former drug user Kennedy needs hormone replacement therapy. (He also needs brain replacement therapy, but none is available.)

But there is something far more dangerous to your masculinity and, indeed, to the entire human race and other forms of life on this planet. Namely, petroleum, aka oil.

***

Sooner or later, in one form or another, oil seeps into everything in our lives.  

It seeps into nearly everything around us — in the form of tiny bits of plastic — which are made from fossil fuels. 

Microplastics (MPs) and nanoplastics (NPs), which are even smaller, abound in the air, the soil, the water, our food, and not just from the plastic packaging. MPs have been found in the animals we eat (fish muscle, for example) and in the fibers of fruits and vegetables.

And MP/NPs are in nearly every organ of your body. They are in your brain (7 grams in the frontal cortex, where you do your thinking), in your retinas, in your blood vessels, your heart, liver, and so on. And in your reproductive equipment, male and female.

In this story, I am focusing on males because, according to our secretary of war, males need their testosterone in order to be on the “leading edge of lethality.”

NPs have been found in human semen, in human testicles (and in the testicles of dogs, studied because their lives are deeply intertwined with ours), and in human penises. To see more proof of the danger, go herehere, and here.)

The drop in sperm count in developed countries began approximately 50 years ago. The subject is controversial, and different causes are cited, but I can’t help noticing that 50 years ago happens to be about the same time we started using really humongous amounts of plastics.

And plastics seem to be here to stay. The world is shifting toward renewable power, and to offset declining fuel sales, major oil and gas companies are turning to plastics as “Plan B.” According to the Center for International Environmental Law, “Just as the world begins to realize the dangers of plastic pollution and take action to reduce it, industry is poised to invest billions in expanding plastic production.”  

***

In the meantime, though infested with plastic, we should all try to take good care of ourselves.

Men, if you suspect you have abnormally low testosterone levels — or if you’re an accomplished hypochondriac — you can view this long list of symptoms presented by the Mayo Clinic — but bear in mind that many of these same symptoms are caused by psychological factors. Better to discuss the issue with a urologist. 

Here are some good, up-to-date articles on the safety of testosterone therapy: 

Is Testosterone Therapy Safe? Take a Breath Before You Take the Plunge

Statement on Testosterone Replacement Therapy 

Management of Adverse Effects in Testosterone Therapy

What Men Should Know About Testicular Shrinkage and Testosterone Therapy

Trump, Kennedy, et al. want to make it easier to get prescriptions for testosterone. Given what these people say about vaccines, you should be cautious about accepting anything they say about anything else.

Your lifestyle can greatly affect your hormone levels (as well as everything else) — high stress, inadequate sleep, poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and, as previously mentioned, drugs and alcohol. You’ve heard it all before.

Avoid this book: Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs, by Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO), who believes “No menace to this nation is greater than the collapse of American manhood, the collapse of masculine strength.”

Avoid using red laser therapy on your groin. See this story in Vanity Fair: “Tucker Carlson: Tan Your Balls If You Want to Be a Real Man.


  • Milicent CranorMilicent Cranor is a senior editor at WhoWhatWhy. She has worked as a creative editor at E.P. Dutton, a comedy ghostwriter, and editor of consequential legal and scientific documents. She has also co-authored numerous peer-reviewed articles for medical journals.

Pete Hegseth’s Crisis of Masculinity

The secretary of war’s obsession with testosterone reveals the anxieties he harbors about himself and the military he leads.

Nick Turse

July 25 2026 (TheIntercept.com)

On Wednesday at 11:07 p.m. ET, the president went on Truth Social to share an important piece of information with Americans. It wasn’t an update on the sinking U.S. economy, the failing forever war with Iran, a remembrance of the Americans recently killed in that conflict, rising gasoline prices, the more than 800 lawsuits against his administration, a cyclosporiasis outbreak, surging cases of measles, the problems with his Qatari-gifted Air Force One, or comment on any of the swirling crises that typify the day-to-day of Donald Trump’s America.

Instead, it was a retread of an Instagram post with a clip from an appearance of UFC CEO Dana White — who brought bloodsport to the White House lawn in June — on “The Pat McAfee Show.” It wasn’t, however, a clip from this week or this month or even about last month’s UFC Freedom 250 event. In fact, it wasn’t even from this year.

The headline on the post tells the story: “HOLY CRAP: Dana White says it best: TRUMP is the ‘ultimate American badass of all time.’” 

White did actually say that — but he said it back in July 2024. This desperation for two-year-old adulation would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. But the so-called leader of the free world isn’t the only one obsessed with being seen as an American badass. Trump’s Pentagon chief, Pete Hegseth, is on a mission to make America’s fighting men (and women) more macho by any means necessary. Unsurprisingly, it’s fast becoming a problem for all Americans.

– Nick Turse, editor of TomDispatch

If you haven’t yet, sign up to receive TomDispatch in your inbox here.

The Low-T Issue

Self-styled War Secretary Pete Hegseth has a problem with low testosterone. It’s left him suffering from what you might call an acute crisis of masculinity. And I’m pretty sure that he caught it from Teddy Roosevelt.

Bear with me. I’ll explain.

Last week, the Trump administration’s preening, strutting, wanna-be he-man announced a new mandatory annual screening for troops age 30 and older, including women, for testosterone deficiency. Troops under 30 can volunteer to be screened, and anyone with low hormone levels will have the option to receive testosterone replacement therapy.

“It’s about restoring and optimizing your natural capability,” said Hegseth, by ensuring “you have the biological foundation required to sustain the fight” on the “brutal and unrelenting” modern battlefield. Like all Hegseth initiatives, he linked it to “lethality” — now the animating feature of his life. He called topping off troops’ testosterone levels a “sacred duty.” 

Anyone who has observed Hegseth for more than 15 seconds in the last 15 years could tell you the man is riddled with deep insecurities. His quest to fully transition the Defense Department to what he calls “The High-T Department of War” is just the latest manifestation of nagging anxieties about himself and the wheel-spinning, never-winning military he leads. 

Poor Pete’s woes have been piling up since he headed off to college at Princeton, if not before. Hegseth acts like he was drafted against his will by the Ivy League and escaped it by joining the Army National Guard as an infantry officer in 2003. He fondly recalls guarding “Islamic assholes” at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, alongside “hard-working, God-fearing, America-loving middle-class men” whom he contrasts with “millionaires at Princeton,” a school he derides whenever he can.

Stuffed in Hegseth’s Army-issue green duffle bag when he arrived at Gitmo was a sheet of plain white copy paper inside a black plastic frame with a quote from his hero, former President Teddy Roosevelt. This long love affair with TR has continued over the decades. Pete wrote a ridiculous 2016 book, “In the Arena,” based on the “timeless truths of Teddy Roosevelt’s iconic ‘Man in the Arena’ speech” from 1910. And he still references that speech to this day and routinely works Teddy into his public remarks whenever he can.

Last year, Hegseth wanted the Pentagon to cut ties with the Boy Scouts of America because, he believed, “the organization once endorsed by President Theodore Roosevelt” had strayed from their mission to “cultivate masculine values.” (He later bullied the Scouts into submission.) And just last month, he talked up TR to U.S. troops in Cuba — where Roosevelt fought during the Spanish-American War — using his hero as proof of America’s right to intervene “in the affairs of Latin American nations.”

No one more exemplified the anxieties of privileged men of his time than Teddy Roosevelt, who grew up in the swirl of post-Civil War America in which urbanization, industrialization, a new emphasis on “brainwork,” and new technologies led to a crippling novel condition dubbed neurasthenia: nervous exhaustion, or a deficiency of “nerve-force.” This affliction was “modern and originally American,” according to the then-most influential expert on the now-archaic medical diagnosis.

Rich, white Anglo-Saxon men like Teddy professed complete cultural, racial, and sexual superiority but grew extremely anxious it was being stolen from them. (Yes, you guessed it: Immigrants, radicals, and independent, unduly educated, or otherwise unruly “new” women were prime culprits.) Men were fast becoming feeble and feminized; only through manly endeavors like weightlifting, hiking, hunting, sports, horseback riding, and excursions into the wild could they counteract the debilitating effects of over-civilization. Roosevelt, for example, transformed himself from a frail, sickly weakling who was called a “sissy” by peers and “Jane-Dandy” by the press into a man’s man via boxing, shooting, wrestling, and travel out West, where he reinvented himself as a cowboy.

Related

As Teddy Roosevelt’s Statue Falls, Let’s Remember How Truly Dark His History Was

The scholar Yeonsik Jung summed up the neurasthenic age nicely, writing: “Channeled through the medical knowledge of neurology, it made American men’s racial, sexual, and spatial anxieties function to act out their racist, misogynist, nativist, and imperialist impulses which legitimized exclusionary political techniques toward the racial and sexual others such as the U.S. imperial expansion in the 1890s and 1900s.” These white American men had to win back, as another scholar put it, “the potency of their violent masculinity—their ability to out-savage the savage” on the American frontier before turning overseas to places like the PhilippinesHaiti, and Nicaragua. Roosevelt’s own expansionist imperialism and his campaign against “race suicide” were firmly rooted in this toxic ferment. When the United States initially failed to annex Hawaii after a group of missionaries and pineapple plantation interests took over and set up their own government in the 1890s, for example, Roosevelt called the reluctance “a crime against white civilization.”

The framed quote Hegseth stuffed into that Gitmo duffle, which he also took to the forever wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, are lines from “The Man in the Arena” speech:

Am I striving valiantly?

Is my face marred by dust and sweat and blood? Am I spending myself in a worthy cause?

Am I daring greatly?

Am I in the arena?

“Spending myself” is an intriguing phrase here that’s key to my diagnosis of Hegseth. I’m not a medical doctor, but long ago I studied the intersection of medicine and masculinity in the late 19th and early 20th century en route to my Ph.D. A great panic of the era surrounded what historians came to call the “spermatic economy,” the belief that a man’s semen was a finite reserve of vital energy — like money in a bank account — and “spending” this essential life force through masturbation or excessive sex would leave him depleted, leading to nervous exhaustion’s below-the-waist variant: sexual neurasthenia. (President Donald Trump, who espouses pseudoscientific claptrap about good and bad “genes” also reportedly believes humans are closed-loop systems that, like a battery, have a finite amount of energy.)

Such fin de siècle fears of debilitation led to “rejuvenation” cures like French physiologist Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard injecting himself and others with crushed guinea pig testicles — launching the field of “organotherapy” — and Austrian physiologist Eugen Steinach’s surgical procedure, a partial vasectomy to restore vigor which found favor with patients from psychoanalysis founder and noted head case Sigmund Freud to William Butler Yeats, the Nobel Prize-winning Irish poet. (“And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?”)

Related

Hegseth Is Pushing Testosterone. The VA Has Already Struggled With the Treatment.

Hegseth is heir to this utter nuttery — obsessed as it was with limits on semen spending and banking one’s virility. His hysteria over the military becoming “effeminate” has led him to conclude that those who wish to “master the profession of arms” must have their testosterone tanks topped off. And he claims, without evidence, that pumping troops full of this hormone — which people of every sex and gender produce — will improve “combat readiness.” Hegseth also thinks his new policy will make troops “strong, resilient and capable.”

But while testosterone is tied to muscle mass, it isn’t linked with actual strength. A 2019 study found that men who received injected testosterone while engaged in intense exercise and a restricted diet — meant to mimic “strenuous military operations” — did not see gains in strength or endurance; a 2022 follow-up also found no increase in physical performance. Moreover, supplementing testosterone actually signals the body to shut down its own natural production, which can shrink the testicles and reduce one’s sperm count. (Paging Dr. Steinach!)

Hegseth believes you can measure manhood by testing testosterone, the same way he believes you can kill your way to victory on the battlefield.

Hegseth appears to believe more is better, advocating for a “high T” fighting force. But high levels of testosterone — which is currently classified as a controlled substance with potential for abuse — can lead to acne, balding, breast tissue growth, impaired ability of the heart to pump blood, infertility, erectile dysfunction, and increased risk of death.

Of course, it’s hard to say what’s normal if you’re testing millions of healthy people. Testosterone levels can change depending on when a patient is tested, whether they have recently eaten, exercised heavily, or are sick, among other factors, Dr. Alvin Matsumoto, a professor emeritus at the University of Washington School of Medicine, recently told The Intercept. For example, in about a third of men whose testosterone initially tests low, a second test produces a normal result. Tests also have high inter-lab variability. On that front, doctors usually assess testosterone levels only when symptoms of low T appear, and less than 6 percent of men between 30 and 79 actually have a deficiency.

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Last week, a group of senators called out Hegseth for his bizarre obsession with troops’ testosterone, noting his department “provided no evidence that this sweeping new policy will improve force readiness or health, nor has it explained the scientific basis, costs, or risks associated with implementing it across the force.” They also pointed to “recent repeated efforts to redefine military culture around an exaggerated conception of masculinity.”

Related

Women in the Army Are More Likely to Be Killed by Fellow Soldiers Than Enemy Combatants

Exaggerated masculinity is an apt description for Hegseth. In his 2024 book, “The War on Warriors,” he bemoaned a plot to manufacture “soft men, and a weak military.” He describes an effort to make the armed forces “fatter,” “slower,” and “effeminate” by those “obsessed” with “neutering our military,” and delves into the dangers posed by “Pentagon pussies.”

After 18 months of crackpot policies and puerile posturing at the helm of the War Department, Hegseth’s hysteria has only grown. Like Roosevelt, Hegseth is forever struggling to display his manhood through physical exertion — posting videos of himself engaging in humiliating fitness challenges. Similarly, he’s been propping up America’s long-sagging martial prowess by beating up on the likes of Venezuela, attacking elementary school kids in Iran, blowing up unarmed boats packed with civilians in the Caribbean Sea, and threatening tiny Cuba, where his hero Teddy won fame for a Spanish-American War charge up San Juan Hill.

The Trillion Dollar War Machine,” by William D. Hartung and Ben Freeman Available on Bookshop.org

“Speak softly and carry a big stick” was Roosevelt’s foreign policy prescription. But from the war against the Houthis last year to the war on Iran today, Hegseth has found that his stick just doesn’t measure up. The resulting insecurity has led the emasculated War secretary to fire women and Black men from top leadership positions, block the promotion of women military officers, banish transgender service members, and denounce “fat generals and admirals” and “females” whom he believes “can’t meet the same combat arms physical standards as men.” He has now added low-T troops to the list of scapegoats for his department’s underperformance, instead of examining his failings as a leader.

Hegseth believes you can measure manhood by testing testosterone, the same way he believes you can kill your way to victory on the battlefield. It’s part of a mélange of flaccid fallacies and fantasies that seem to dominate the worldview of a man who paid $50,000 to a woman who accused him of raping her, whose former sister-in-law accused him of “abusive” behavior toward his second wife, and whose own mother once called out the fact that he “belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around, and uses women for his own power and ego.” And as America’s wars go south, Hegseth has become ever more unhinged and his public tantrums more pronounced. “You have Trump derangement syndrome!” he snapped at Michigan Sen. Gary Peters this week, after failing to admit earlier claims about victory in the Iran war were premature. 

Hegseth is exactly where he wants to be — “in the arena” — even though it’s abundantly clear his crisis of masculinity is becoming a catastrophe for his department, the rest of America, and great swaths of the globe, from the Caribbean to Iran. All the testosterone in the world isn’t going to win America’s wars, achieve Hegseth’s dream of turning “soft men” hard, or transform “Pentagon pussies” into something more in line with his fantasies, much less cure the crushing insecurities swirling in the brain of America’s fragile war secretary and the deep deficiency that has long plagued him.

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Looking For Love in All the Right Places: Healing the Wounds That Undermine Our Relationships 

 June 8, 2026 (menalive.com)

By  Jed Diamond

                I have been a psychotherapist specializing in men’s mental, emotional, and relational health for more than fifty years. Like many men, I have had challenges with my love life. Those who visit me at MenAlive see my welcome video, “Confessions of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor.” I recently interviewed a kindred spirit, Sean Hotchkiss, author of a new book, Hating Women: A Memoir of Male Rage and Recovery.

                I was given an early copy of the book and found it resonated with my own personal and professional experiences. Like Sean, I grew up without the support of a father and became very attached to my mother who called me her “brave little man” after my father was hospitalized following a failed suicide attempt. For years I denied the impact of my early experiences on the reality that my relationship life was a disaster.

                Sean shared some of his own experiences growing up and how he came to recognize how early trauma impacted his life and how writing the book helped him come to peace with himself and eventually to share what he learned with the world. Here is what Sean says in the book about his healing journey:

                “Hating Women tells the story of my struggles in romantic relationships for two decades,” he says. “It highlights a handful of key relationships that, with some distance, all went down pretty much exactly the same way: I’d get excited about a woman, and we’d launch into an intense connection. Eventually, either that connection would start to feel too confining, and I’d run away from it. Or, occasionally, the woman I was dating would run away from me. Rinse. Repeat.

                “My apparent inability to have a healthy relationship with a woman drove me insane. I’ve always been someone who has claimed to want great love. But every time I felt like I was getting close, something blew up. I felt powerless. Many times, the pattern felt larger than me. And every breakup, every betrayal, every loss, made me even more wary about commitment.

                “Back in 2015, I began a deep dive into my past and my childhood trauma, and it started to become much clearer to me why I’d always struggled in relationships.

                “First, my father was largely missing from my childhood. He and my mother got divorced when I was 4, and I only saw him about eight days a month for the next ten years. When I was 22, he committed suicide. I’m sure it won’t surprise anyone reading this to hear that the loss I experienced in that relationship ran deep. I longed for my father and never felt I got the love I wanted from him. That left an imprint. And for years after his death, I mainly focused on him in my healing. His absence was just so big and obvious, and I had a lot of unresolved grief and rage towards him for the way he lived and left.

                “Second, following my parent’s divorce and the disappearance of my father, I became an emotional support and a sort of surrogate partner for my mother, as many boys do. In the years she was single, and even when she had a boyfriend or husband, she and I had a connection that felt equal parts comforting and strange. She confided in me about her problems, asked me for advice, and put me on a pedestal. And I did the same with her. There were very few boundaries between us. And because our bond seemed close on the surface, it took me much longer to see the shadow of it and how it was affecting all my relationships with women.

                “That combination of feeling abandoned by my father, and overwhelmed and under-nurtured by my mother created a very particular belief system in my mind and body: Intimacy was not safe. Surely, I’d either be left, or be smothered. I’m not a big fan of attachment labels, but therapists would have called me a fearful avoidant. As in: Please love me, but not too much!

                “Because these beliefs — and the unprocessed grief and rage attached to them — went untouched for many years, I found myself always recreating these conditions in relationships. (This is how our psyche works: it wants us to heal, so it puts us in familiar (family) dynamics so the buried feelings emerge and we have a chance to heal). But, like so many of us, instead of facing those feelings head-on and attempting to work on my relationships, I often just ran to the next woman hoping for a different result.

                “Things finally came to a head over the last several years: First, I was in a relationship with a woman who always seemed out of reach, just like my dad. And then I rebounded into a relationship with a woman where there was a lot of love between us, but also a lot of codependency just like with my mom. Thanks to these relationships, I came out of denial: I was dating women like my parents. And in order to cease this pattern, I would have to stop getting into one relationship after the next, and sort out the feelings that emerged when I was alone.

                “I see that the coaching work I’ve been doing with men the last six years all connects back to the same root trauma of childhood, and that most, if not all, of the men who have come into my practice through the years experienced the same set up I did: emotionally or physically absent father, enmeshed mother.

                “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. As a society, we’re now between eight and eleven generations removed from the Industrial Revolution — a time that is largely credited by Men’s Movement authors like Robert Bly and James Hillman as the time when fathers began spending less time in the home. And it’s become clear to me that this gradual and expanding absence of fathers (and of male presence) has led to an increasing dependency on mothers through the formative years. In boys, this dependency on our mothers often becomes enmeshed: with mothers leaning on sons to make up for the lack of male presence in the home, and sons clinging to mothers as the only source of love they’re receiving.”

                You can pre-order Sean’s important book on Amazon. It will be out in July. After that you can order it wherever books are sold. Pre-orders help the author and the publisher. They also help us all to get books about important topics that may be controversial.

                When I wrote my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, in 1983, I was told that women buy most books and men weren’t interested in a men’s memoir about love, loss, and healing. I believed in the book and so did many others. The psychologist, Dr. Herb Goldberg said,

                “For me this is the best kind of ‘Men’s Liberation’ book — a personal, honest, expressive account of the inner life of a man in the process of search and change.”

                Natalie Rogers said,

                “We know the personal is political — feminists have proved that point — yet few, (if any) men have had the courage to be as vulnerable at Jed Diamond. Women and men will find this book provocative and illuminating.”

                I believe these quotes also apply to Sean Hotchkiss and his book, Hating Women: A Memoir of Male Rage and Recovery.

                You can order the book here. You can learn more about Sean by visiting his Substack, One Man’s Heart, here.  

                You can watch and listen to my interview with Sean here.

Author Image

Best Wishes,

Jed Diamond

Founder and VHS (Visionary Healer Scholar) of MenAlive

Stopping Authoritarian Strongmen & Returning to Our Partnership Roots 

 June 1, 2026

By  Jed Diamond (menalive.com)

                As I said in a previous article, “The Future of US”, I have been interested in ways we can survive and thrive during these challenging times since 1993 when I was given a vision in a sweat lodge ceremony and saw the sinking of the ship of civilization and the launching of lifeboats to a more sustainable world.

                From a new book by Luke Kemp, Goliath’s Curse: The History of Societal Collapse, I learned about the latest findings that can help us understand our lives, our world, and find hope for the future of humankind. Kemp is a senior research associate at the Centre for the Study of Existential Risk at the University of Cambridge.

                Kemp says,

                “With the threat of nuclear war ever present, the world getting hotter and hotter, and the rapid creation of dangerous algorithms, one can’t be blamed for asking: Will we make it?” Kemp goes on to say, “The problem is that most of us are uncomfortable in recognizing the most common element of civilization is rule through domination. A more apt label for these systems of violence is ‘Goliath.’ A Goliath is a collection of hierarchies in which some individuals dominate others to control energy and labor.”

                In her groundbreaking book, The Chalice & the Blade: Our History, Our Future, internationally acclaimed scholar, futurist, and activist, Riane Eisler wrote,

                “We are all familiar with legends about an earlier, more harmonious and peaceful age. The Bible tells of a garden where woman and man lived in harmony with each other and nature — before a male god decreed that woman henceforth be subservient to man.”

                Eisler goes on to describe two competing systems that continue to influence our lives today.

                “The first, which I call the dominator model, is what is popularly termed either patriarchy or matriarchy — the ranking of one half of humanity over the other. The second, in which social relations are primarily based on the principle of linking rather than ranking, may be described as the partnership model.” Eisler concludes by saying, “In this model — beginning with the most fundamental difference in our species, between male and female — diversity is not equated with either inferiority or superiority.”

                Eisler developed these ideas most recently in her book Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shame Our Brains, Lives, and Future written with anthropologist Douglas P. Fry. They say,

                “There is a new urgency to our wish for a more humane world. Every day we are bombarded by news of barbaric human rights abuses, terrorist attacks, proliferation of nuclear weapons, and a drift to strongman rule. New technologies, from artificial intelligence to biological engineering, could have catastrophic results if guided by cultural values of greed, megalomania, and disregard for human rights.”

MenAlive: Helping Men and the Women Who Love Them Since 1972

                MenAlive began in 1969 when I held Jemal, my newborn son, in my arms and made a vow that I would be a different kind of father than my father was able to be for me and to do everything I could to create a world where men were fully healed and involved with their families and communities throughout their lives. I launched MenAlive as my window to the world to share what I was learning about love, life, survival, and transformation.

                In June, I will be offering exciting new and expanded services at MenAlive. I’m looking for men and women who recognize the world is changing and who want to receive the best guidance and support available to help them to live fully, love deeply, and make a positive difference in the world. If this sounds like you, read on.

                When our daughter, Angela, was born in 1972, it became clear that boys and men’s health and girls and women’s health were forever intertwined and we could not improve one without improving the other. My wife Carlin and I now have six grown children, seventeen grandchildren, and six great grandchildren. We are committed to helping to transform our lives for the good of all and for future generations. 

                I’m sure I don’t have to convince you that humans are living in ways that are out of balance with the laws of nature. We recognize this imbalance as our climate crisis, endless conflicts, and loss of ecological diversity. As “geologian” and historian Thomas Berry warned:

                “We never knew enough. Nor were we sufficiently intimate with all our cousins in the great family of the earth. Nor could we listen to the various creatures of the earth, each telling its own story. The time has now come, however, when we will listen or we will die.”

                Many people have given up on humanity and imagine that the world would be better off without us. Others hope that Artificial Intelligence (AI) will save us. I was given a different vision during a sweat lodge ceremony at a Men’s Leadership Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1993.

                The vision allowed me to see the sinking ship of domination-civilization and the emergence of lifeboats to a new way of living.  According to Václav Havel, Czech statesman, author, playwright, and dissident,

                “Today, many things indicate that we are going through a transitional period when it seems that something is on the way out and something else is painfully being born. It is as if something were crumbling, decaying, and exhausting itself, while something else, still indistinct, were arising from the rubble.”

                At MenAlive, I will be introducing my community to innovative programs that offer new ways of communicating such as, “Safe Conversations,” developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. You can learn about them here: https://quantumconnections.com/.

We also need new ways of healing men’s mental, emotional, and relational wounds such as those developed by Joe Conrad at Man Therapy: https://mantherapy.org/

Becoming David: Why Men Have a Crucial Role to Play in Overcoming Goliath

                Clearly, we need everyone involved if we are going to change the world for good. This includes men, women, and children. I believe that men have a critical role to play.  The comedian Elayne Booler captured this thought when she said,

                “When women get depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.”

                In his book Goliath’s Curse, Luke Kemp says,

                “In the biblical tale, Goliath is slain by a single slingshot-toting future king by the name of David. Defeating Goliaths, in reality, is not done alone. Instead, it requires actions that leverage the people and communities around us.”

                Kemp offers the following four guiding principles:

  1. Don’t Be a Dick

                “I propose a simple pledge not to be a dick. This is a pledge to not work for, invest in, or support any firm, institute, or individual that significantly contributes to global catastrophic risk.”

                “More than that, it is a pledge not to become a Goliath yourself. All of us are capable of being corrupted by power. All of us crave status to some degree. Don’t let the darker angels of your nature win.”

2. Be a Democrat.

                “Practice democracy. Democracy is not just a form of government; it is a culture and way of life. One that all of us need to recapture.”

      3. Vote Against the Apocalypse.

                “You are first and foremost a citizen not a consumer. If everyone in Australia (or the US, or the UK) began switching off their lights prudently and chose the lowest-carbon travel options, then it would barely make a dent in the national emissions.”

                “If they changed their vote to those offering the strongest decarbonization plans, then suddenly emissions could be on track to be eliminated within decades.”

                4. Don’t Be Dominated.

                “Oppose domination in your relationships, whether they be personal, family, or workplace.”

                “One of the first and most pernicious stories justifying subjugation was that of the savior leader. It is time to say ‘enough.’ It is time to realize the bright and terrifying truth: no gods, kings, heroes, or masters are going to save us. Slaying Goliath and avoiding evolutionary suicide is, like all great achievements, it is going to be a collective action. It is on us.”

                If you would like more information about MenAlive you can visit me here. If you would like information about Harville Hendrix and “Safe Conversations” you can do so here. You can learn more about Joe Conrad’s work and his new book on Man Therapy here.

                You can watch an in-depth interview with Luke Kemp, “Can Collapse Benefit Everyone” here.  

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Best Wishes,

Jed Diamond

Founder and VHS (Visionary Healer Scholar) of MenAlive