“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Clive Staples Lewis (November 29, 1898 – November 22, 1963) was a British writer and lay theologian. He held academic positions in English literature at both Oxford University and Cambridge University. Wikipedia