Sexual harassment is never acceptable. As a mother of 5 boys, I hope I have made this clear to them in my words and actions. I am left pondering how so many men I have admired and thought morally and ethically upstanding, can be so charged. I believe the accusers and I can understand their hesitation in accusing in a timelier manner. In NYC, many years ago, I was harassed by one of the men I was working with. I hesitated to tell anyone and tried to avoid him. In the early 80s, the atmosphere was one of his word against her word.
The question that loomed so large in my mind this morning was… How could Charlie Rose do this? What made him think it was okay? In his own statement lies what I feel is an answer: “I always felt that I was pursuing shared feelings, even though I now realize I was mistaken.”
Could it be that men often think they are pursuing a woman who has given him the signal that she wants to be pursued?
Men (and women) who are in positions of power often have large egos. Meaning they think others see them as attractive and magnetic. This attitude in those of power could lead them to assume others are pursuing them for a sexual encounter or interlude. If this is the case then we have a series of misunderstanding and lack of reading the signals sent by another. However, when my butt was grabbed and I was called babe, I turned around and said stop immediately. I can only imagine a woman being grabbed inappropriately and having to decide if she would lose her job if she protested. Fortunately for me, I held the purse strings in the situation and I was not afraid of losing anything. There were no mixed signals in my situation and after one more incident, I was able to remove him from my work situation.
The man that grabbed my butt had very little respect for women. Hidden in the unconscious mind many males often feel they are superior to women and see women as property. This is the basis for most sexual and physical abuse. After all “you can treat your things as you wish.” Sexual abuse is about power and has nothing to do with the pleasure of sexuality.
It is hard for me to put my head around how thinking can be so distorted to feel that sexual harassment, abuse, rape, and control are anyone’s rights. I feel sorrow that so many men must lose their position over the allegations being made against them. However, it is about time that the faulty thinking and actions are exposed.
Changing the consciousness of our country is not a minor need. If we are to survive as a country, as a world we must learn empathy and understand that all life needs to be honored. Honored for the very fact that it is life and is present in our consciousness.
In consciousness, there is a little difference between killing animals for sport, and sexually harassing another being. Both are unnecessary acts of distorted power and vile in the eyes of creation.
Sexual harassment, the abuse and killing of animals, and destruction of our Earth are depraved acts of a species who are on a path of self-destruction. Survival of the fittest has nothing to do with power or strength. Survival of the fittest is about cooperation between individuals be they human, animal, or plant (or cells). It is only by understanding the majesty and divine nature of life, that existence continues. This is indeed a watershed moment when we have an opportunity, as individuals and a nation, to step up and embrace a new consciousness of respect for all existence. We have an opportunity to realize the mysticism and specialness of creation.
Suzanne Deakins, HWM
@ 2017 from Sexual Fluidity
Suzanne’s other titles may be found on Amazon.com
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