Ned Henry January 3, 2021 · (nedhenry.medium.com)
OK John saved me from myself. Again. I hate it when I walk around asleep and unaware and just do dumb shit cuz I’m not paying attention. I know we all do it but it just makes life so much harder than it needs to be. It took a couple of hours to get it fixed and I was never going to lose anything. If I had not been able to recover the account, it would just have been a hassle to get the folks that only know me there back on a different email. I have 3 of them. Lots of boring technical (well they were interesting to me) details about getting it all fixed and I’ll tell you about it later and you can just skip that if you want. Thank you again John. John got me moved to the dark side a few years ago. He is a BIG APPLE guy. And he always has to have the latest and greatest everything they come out with. Well I am the beneficiary in that I get first crack at buying his old devices that he would just sell on eBay anyway. So I have a mostly new MAC, now an 11Pro (up from a 6s) and an Apple waatch which is really a pretty cool deal. I’m full fledged on the dark side now. Apple TV — just got rid of an iPad mini and need to get a real iPad. Especially now. It would be nice to have during the long days at Winship. And I have some of those coming up. John will help me find one on eBay.
I think I use alot of FOUL language in this blog. Just an observation. It also occurs to me that not everyone might like reading what I write here. Just another observation. It’s all good.
So John had sent me a link to pick up a Requiem on Apple music which I did this morning and listened to it a couple of times this morning. It’s only 45 minutes or so. Really nice. I’ve gotten a good long shower in, made some eggs and a bagel. Feeling good. Have to get a load of laundry in. Anyway here is that Requiem.Dan Forrest: Requiem for the Living by University of Bielsko-Biala Choir, University of…Listen to Dan Forrest: Requiem for the Living by University of Bielsko-Biala Choir, University of Bielsko-Biała Chamber…music.apple.com
I think you’d have to have Apple music to listen to it but it’s beautiful. I love Requiems. I have the Durrefle on right now. We sang that one one year at Collegium. I’m gonna go get some things done and I’ll come back to this later.
Oh …
There’s a link the entire Stabat Mater piece. I don’t know how good it is. Just found it and I don’t have to post individal movements if you’re interested in listening to the whole thing without going out and buying it.
Been kind of a tough day. Got a good shower, did laundry, had a good FaceTime call with some brothers and sisters sitting in the backyard. It was nice day in Atlanta. Got a text from cousin Joe about the Bears game. Decided to take a break and watch it turned it on hour in and watched the end of the first half — fast forwaded through halftime and watched a couple of minutes of the second half and paused it. Got real scared. Called my counselor. Had a good good cry with him, let myself feel, let myself be open.
I went to college at the University of California at Santa Cruz. We are the Fighting Banana Slugs!!! Beautiful campus. I was in one of the first full 4 year classes so the campus was band new when I attended. I got there in Fall of 1968. Great campus — ocean view, set in a redwood forest, alternative, no grades, no tests. I took Liberal Arts and Social Sciences classes as an undeclared major for some 4 years. We read and we wrote. We wrote a paper a week in every class. And to this day, I think of myself as a pretty decent writer and I can attribute that to my college. (I did go back and graduate in 1979 after I quit one year short of graduation -another story) While there I did lots of differnt jobs. With 12 kids, we were on our own from high school on. I washed the breakfast dishes in the student dining hall for a year, I worked in the gym handing out towels and gym clothes, washing them folding them and handing them out again, I worked at the health food restaurant on campus — The Whole Earth — there’s even a cookbook. But one job I had was as a projectionist. There were these 2 guys — kind of savvy for Santa Cruz at the time — they would rent 16 MM prints of films and rent the largest lecture hall on campus at the time on Saturday nights and show the films. Students paid I don’t know $5 or something if they wanted to go to the movies that night. They came collected the money let folks in and left. I ran the 16 MM print on 2 projectors and did the changeovers flawlessly. I actually got pretty good. No real screw ups. When the movie was over, everyone left and I packed up the print and brought it over to their off campus apartment and they paid me in cash something like $12 an hour and gave me a 6 pack of Philippine beer. It was a gig and I did it for a couple of years. They mostly showed art-sy films. Fellini, King of Hearts, La Dolce Vita, Caligula, stuff like that. And they showed all the Bergman films. I was running the projector and couldn’t really WATCH the films — I had to be sure they ran smoothly. Most were on several reels — hence the need for 2 projectors. So I kinda watched them. Most were subtitled and in black and white but truly most of them were great films.
So after my cry today, the title of one of them came to mind. I found it on You Tube and just finished it. It’s a Bergman film called The 7th Seal. You can google it to se what it’s about.
Now I don’t expect anything from anybody looking at this blog. I really really don’t. I’m OK doing my thing. But if you want to walk this journey with me, and I don’t expect anyone to want to do that, then invest the hour and half it will take to watch a Swedish, Black and White film from 1957 with subtitles. Whether you do or don’t doesn’t matter. But If you do I hope you feel what I am feeling right now. Like Jane said It’s all good.
My Cancer Journey (cont.)
Ned Henry January 3, 2021 (nedhenry.medium.com)
So I’m just gonna post a Translation so you know what it’s about. You can skip this if you want. Hell you skip any or all of this if you want. I’m not gonna talk about the translation — just gonna post it. This is one of my “tools”. I did this one when Covid first started and nobody knew what the fuck was happening.
My sense testimony (Appearance) was: GERMS ARE EVERYWHERE. This is a short one and hard to read in these pictures on the blog. It works better on ZOOM and it works better if I read it since it’s my thinking. But if you care, go ahead and dig it out and follow it along. I might decide to delete this before the post. We’ll see. Thane called it the Not So Secret Doctrine. Kind of like the opposite of The Secret.
Some Tom waits songs. Yeah I’m still up and still a little stoned. I’m ready to sleep and won’t post this day’s writing until tomorrow night.
So WHO ARE THESE LITTLE GUYS?
And These 2 —
They’ve been living on my refrigerator for years!!!
More Tom Waits: So good. Closing Time is playing. This one is Martha. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9Mse62NFl4
There’s a really old Austin City Limits from lots of years ago. I have it saved on TIVO. It plays On PBS once in a while. But it’s just Vintage Tom Waits. If I ever turn the TV on again, I’ll look up the date of that concert and you can find it. (if you want) It was a long long time ago when he was a very young man but he had the same voice back then.
Still can’t sleep but been relaxing and breathing and listening.
So here I am plagiarizing some word tracking that Rick did on Cancer. It’s detailed but very informative. Hope he doesn’t mind. Heck He sent it to me. So I guess it’s mine now to use however I want so I’ll just share it.
CANCER MEANINGS
This will be a combination of my word tracking in conjunction with etymological dictionary information from http://www.etymonline.com/
There seems to be three basic meanings for this word. I’m putting this into three major sections: the good (zodiac sign), the bad (crab) and the ugly (malignant tumor).
First, etymological track of the word cancer:
Old English cancer “spreading sore, cancer” (also canceradl), from Latin cancer “a crab,” later, “malignant tumor,” from Greek karkinos, which, like the Modern English word, has three meanings: crab, tumor, and the zodiac constellation (late Old English), from PIE root *qarq- “to be hard” (like the shell of a crab); cf. Sanskrit karkatah “crab,” karkarah “hard;” and perhaps cognate with PIE root *qar-tu- “hard, strong,” source of English hard.
Greek physicians Hippocrates and Galen, among others, noted similarity of crabs to some tumors with swollen veins. Meaning “person born under the zodiac sign of Cancer” is from 1894.
The Good
Cancer Zodiac Sign: Characteristics, Dates, & More | Astrology.com
Also see the sections on Cancer in Thane’s Astrology Course.
The Bad
popular name for a stalk-eyed, short-tailed, ten-legged crustacean, Old English crabba, from a general Germanic root (compare Dutch krab, Old High German krebiz, German Krabbe, Old Norse krabbi “crab”), related to Low German krabben, Dutch krabelen “to scratch, claw,” from PIE root *gerbh- “to scratch, carve” (see carve). French crabe (13c.) is from Germanic, probably Old Norse.
c. 1400, “to vex, irritate,” probably a back-formation from crabbed. The notions of “bad-tempered, combative” and “sour” in the two nouns crab naturally yielded a verb meaning of “to vex, irritate,” later “to complain irritably, find fault” (c. 1500). As “to fish for crabs” from 1650s (implied in crabbing). The noun meaning “sour person” is from 1570s.
late 14c., “peevish, angry, ill-tempered, spiteful,” also “vicious, wicked, perverse,” from crab (n.1), from the crab’s combative disposition; mid-15c. as “moving backwards” and in reference to crookedness. Of taste “bitter, harsh,” late 14c., from crab (n.2). Related: Crabbedly; crabbedness.
crabby (adj.)1520s, in now-obsolete sense “crooked, gnarled, rough,” from extended sense of crab (n.1) + -y (2). Meaning “disagreeable, sour, peevish” is attested from 1776, American English. Both senses were found earlier in crabbed.
The Ugly
Section I: In the sense of a malignant tumor or growth.
Here are the results of my word tracking:
Malignant. Note that the prefix mal- means bad, wrong, ill.
- Desire to harm, spite
- Malign: deceive, wicked, evil, harmful. Etymology: “ill born”
- Malice: bad, ill will
- Hostile, unfriendly
Tumor. Swelling: increase in volume from pressure within; expand; dilate. Examples: physical swelling or as in an emotion such as anger swelling inside one. Can also be a mass of new tissue growing inside one.
Malignant Etymology:
1560s, in reference to diseases, from Middle French malignant and directly from Late Latin malignantem (nominative malignans) “acting from malice,” prp. of malignare “injure maliciously” (see malign (v.)). Earlier in the church malignant “followers of the antichrist,” from Latin ecclesiam malignantum in early Church writing.
early 14c., from Old French maligne “having an evil nature,” from Latin malignus “wicked, bad-natured,” from male “badly” (see mal-) + -gnus “born,” from gignere “to bear, beget,” from PIE root *gn- “to bear” (see genus).
Old English yfel (Kentish evel) “bad, vicious, ill, wicked,” from Proto-Germanic *ubilaz (cf. Old Saxon ubil, Old Frisian and Middle Dutch evel, Dutch euvel, Old High German ubil, German übel, Gothic ubils), from PIE *upelo-, from root *wap- (cf. Hittite huwapp- “evil”).
“In OE., as in all the other early Teut. langs., exc. Scandinavian, this word is the most comprehensive adjectival expression of disapproval, dislike or disparagement” [OED]. Evil was the word the Anglo-Saxons used where we would use bad, cruel, unskillful, defective (adj.), or harm, crime, misfortune, disease (n.). The meaning “extreme moral wickedness” was in Old English, but did not become the main sense until 18c.
c.1200, “inferior in quality;” early 13c., “wicked, evil, vicious,” a mystery word with no apparent relatives in other languages.* Possibly from Old English derogatory term bæddel and its diminutive bædling “effeminate man, hermaphrodite, pederast,” probably related to bædan “to defile.” A rare word before 1400, and evil was more common in this sense until c.1700. Meaning “uncomfortable, sorry” is 1839, American English colloquial.
early 14c. (implied in viciously), “of the nature of vice, wicked,” from Anglo-French vicious, Old French vicieus, from Latin vitiosus “faulty, defective, corrupt,” from vitium “fault” (see vice (n.1)). Meaning “inclined to be savage or dangerous” is first recorded 1711 (originally of animals, especially horses); that of “full of spite, bitter, severe” is from 1825.
c.1200, “morally evil” (other 13c. senses were “malevolent, hurtful, unfortunate, difficult”), from Old Norse illr “ill, bad,” of unknown origin. Not related to evil. Main modern sense of “sick, unhealthy, unwell” is first recorded mid-15c., probably related to Old Norse idiom “it is bad to me.”
late 13c., earlier wick (12c.), apparently an adjectival use of Old English wicca “wizard” (see wicca). For evolution, cf. wretched from wretch.
An Old English masc. noun meaning “male witch, wizard, soothsayer, sorcerer, magician;” see witch.
Old English wicce “female magician, sorceress,” in later use especially “a woman supposed to have dealings with the devil or evil spirits and to be able by their cooperation to perform supernatural acts,” fem. of Old English wicca “sorcerer, wizard, man who practices witchcraft or magic,” from verb wiccian “to practice witchcraft” (cf. Low German wikken, wicken “to use witchcraft,” wikker, wicker “soothsayer”).
Old English hearm “hurt, evil, grief, pain, insult,” from Proto-Germanic *harmaz (cf. Old Saxon harm, Old Norse harmr, Old Frisian herm “insult; pain,” Old High German harm, German Harm “grief, sorrow, harm”), from PIE *kormo- “pain.”
c.1200, “to injure, wound” (the body, feelings, reputation, etc.), also “to stumble (into), bump into; charge against, rush, crash into; knock (things) together,” from Old French hurter “to ram, strike, collide,” perhaps from Frankish *hurt “ram” (cf. Middle High German hurten “run at, collide,” Old Norse hrutr “ram”). The English usage is as old as the French, and perhaps there was a native Old English *hyrtan, but it has not been recorded. Meaning “to be a source of pain” (of a body part) is from 1850. To hurt (one’s) feelings attested by 1779.
mid-15c., “do an injustice to, dishonor,” probably a back-formation from injury, or else from Middle French injuriier, from Latin injurare. Injury also served as a verb (late 15c.). Related: Injured; injuring.
Old English wund “hurt, injury,” from Proto-Germanic *wundaz (cf. Old Saxon wunda, Old Norse und, Old Frisian wunde, Old High German wunta, German wunde “wound”), perhaps from PIE root *wen- “to beat, wound.”
c.1300, shortened form of despit “malice” (see despite). Corresponding to Middle Dutch spijt, Middle Low German spyt, Middle Swedish spit. Commonly spelled spight c.1575–1700. The verb is attested from c.1400.
c.1300, originally a noun, from Old French despit (12c., Modern French dépit), from Latin despectus “a looking down on, scorn, contempt,” from pp. of despicere (see despise).
c.1200, a shortening of Old French escarn “mockery, derision, contempt,” a common Romanic word (cf. Spanish escarnio, Italian scherno) of Germanic origin, from Proto-Germanic *skarnjan “mock, deride” (cf. Old High German skern “mockery, jest, sport,” Middle High German scherzen “to jump with joy”).
c.1300, from Old French decevoir (12c., Modern French décevoir) “to deceive,” from Latin decipere “to ensnare, take in, beguile, cheat,” from de- “from” or pejorative + capere “to take” (see capable). Related: Deceived; deceiver; deceiving.
late 15c., from Middle French hostile “of or belonging to an enemy” or directly from Latin hostilis “of an enemy,” from hostis “enemy” (see guest). The noun meaning “hostile person” is recorded from 1838, American English, a word from the Indian wars.
early 15c., “not characteristic of friends,” from un- (1) “not” + friendly. Cf. Middle Dutch onvriendelijc, Middle High German unvriuntlich, German unfreundlich. Meaning “hostile, inimical” is recorded from late 15c. Related: Unfriendliness.
Tumor Etymology:
1540s, from Latin tumor “swelling, condition of being swollen,” from tumere “to swell” (see thigh).
Old English swellan “grow or make bigger” (past tense sweall, pp. swollen), from Proto-Germanic *swelnanan (cf. Old Saxon swellan, Old Norse svella, Old Frisian swella, Middle Dutch swellen, Dutch zwellen, Old High German swellan, German schwellen), of unknown origin.
There’s gonna be lots of things in here you can take or leave. But the central theme is My Journey with Cancer. Might change it to My Sprint with Cancer. Wish the photos came throuhg whenI copied and pasted this.
I’m gonna listen to Stabat MAter by KArl Jenkins in the morning. This is one I have sung with orchestra. My choir joined several other choirs and sang this in Carnegie Hall a few years ago. I didn’t go. Didnt want to take the time (a week) off at ATT and lose a weeks pay and pay for a new York hotel and meals. I wish now I had but at the time I was so focused on rebuilding retirement I didn’t take on any extra expenses. Many like John and Sue for instance sang it twice — once in Carnegie Hall once here. Magnificent piece of music. I’ll share some if I can find it on YouTube. Probably can. I’ve got it cued up for the morning. My head is crashing toward the pillow. Relax and breathe. It’s all good. Good Night.
So I’m up at about 7:30 — I have been a later sleeper since retirement but not so far this 2021. So this morning I got caught up on the Course in Miracles. I hadn’t started yet so I listened to the first 3 days. Marianne Williamson (remember her from the Democratic primary) Offered for I think $50 an all year reading and commentary on the course. 365 lessons in the workbook. She reads one every day and offers some commentary. I signed up. She was the only candidate I gave money to so I got on her mailing list. Truth be told, I just thought we needed a spiriutal leader for a president and even if she was a flawed one, her heart was in the right place. I learned abouit jher at a party at Scott Baker’s house. Scott was in Collegium and after I had finished with Shambhala, Scott invited me down to the Religious Science service one Sunday. Great service — great talk by a guy named Paul. I went there for a few years. Took lots of classes. Took on the Tao which is why I have that book in the first place. Anyway, at this party, I got into a conversation with one of the practioners and she told me about Marianne Williamson. I had no idea who she was. But I jotted her name down. I always carry 3 X 5 index cards and a pen in my pocket. A thing I learned from Thane which served me very well in my sales career. Got home and eventually looked her up and listened to a talk that was a little over an hour on MLK Day about MLK’s letter from the Birmingham jail. Check it out sometime if you can find it. It was a very very good talk. I was impressed. This lady was very smart and very insightful. Didn’t really ever become a follower or anything but I thought, here’s another person trying to change the wrold for the better. All good. So she became my candidate. I didn’t give alot of money — hell I don’t have alot of money but I gave some. So I started getting thhese video lessons each morning in 2021. They are short (5 minutes or so) and I just got caught up. I have the book — both the text and the workbook of the Course in Miracles. Got it from Ramon actually. It has his name in it. But never read it or anything. Just another book sitting on the shelf. Well she is going to spend 365 days this year going through the 365 chapters of the Workbook. The course has 3 books to it — the Text, The workbook and the Teacher’s guide. So I just spent my morning coffee with Marianne catching up on the course in Miracles and doing the exercises for the first 3 days. We’ll see how this goes. I’ve been meaning to give this a chance for some time — really since that lecture of hers I listened to — but never got a round tuit. I’ll keep you posted but my plan is to start every day with a lesson, do the exercise and begin the day.
Time for more coffee. Ok So Religious Science. Religious Science is a church — really a very kind of Christian church in many ways. Oliver Wendell Homes text, The Science of Being is the basis of the teaching. I never got through that big thisck book. It’s also sitting on the shelf. But Paul Gonyea gave great talks every Sunday and well I was starving at the time for some kind of spititual stimulation. There was no more Prosperos in Atlanta — it was shrinking everywhere — I had become disillusioned with Shambhala, going back to Catholicism made no sense to me — didn’t really like the church near me — St. Thomas Moore. I did take Catherine to mass there when she was here for a week but it wasn’t my cup of tea. But Paul resonated with me. He had a big ego but he could deliver a talk better than anyone I have heard probably in all my life. He knew the formula for doing that. Adn he could talk on anything. He was very good. You could probably find his talks someplace — maybe by searching …. Here is just googled him.Listen to the Radio. – Rev Paul GonyeaIn both a physical and a metaphysical sense, we are all extremely sophisticated transmitters and receivers. We…cslmidtown.podbean.com
Anyway, I haven’t listened to him in years. Perhaps I’ll give it whirl today since it’s SUNDAY after all. And I’m not gonna watch football or listen to the Sunday morning news shows. Both real ADDICTIONS for many years now. So I’m at the Sunday service — they use music performace kinda like Thane did at Sunday meetings too. Scott did some singing there. I think he still goes there. Don’t think he knows I have cancer. Not something you run around and broadcast like a gender reveal announcement. Scott was always a very Positive person — almost too happy. But a great guy married to a wonderful woman, — I hope her name pops into my head soon. She’s a singer and and dancer and very creative and talented. They live in Kirkwood not too far from me. I’m in Decatur. I haven’t seen them in a few years since dropped out of Collegium. He was a second bass and we need those. I can’t get that low. I’m a baritone. And of course every schoir in the universe needs tenors. If you have a tenor voice range you can sing anyplace. Good tenors are rare. Also kind of fussy and well pristine. LOL. So I went for a few years there. Met Jan Rush who was my massage therapist until Covd hit. I’d see her twice a month. She did energy work on the body — opening energy flow and loosening blockages to that flow — I would so love to get her hands on this body these days. She never responded to my first note Spilling the Beans so I don’t know if she even has any idea I have cancer. She might be mad at me for stopping massages during Covid but she sort of put her practice on hold at the beginning. And I haven’t reached out to her. Here I am putting myself through another guilt trip. God it’s a pattern. Just give her a fucking call and see if she is doing Covid massages with some kind of safety protocol. I know I have to be very careful but that energy work on my body would be really really good for me now. I also ran into Steve Osborn at The Spritual Living Center of Atlanta (Religious Science). There are several — Paul started a new on — Spritual Living Center of Midtown and then he retired and I don’t know what he’s doing now. I check out that link later. Steve was one of the original Prosperos students that I had long lost touch with but Paul put the 2 of us together because we both talked about Thane being an influence in our lives. It was so good to reconnect with Steve. Steve is married to Monica (Monte) and they have spent the last several years running all over the country in retirement in an RV and stopping for as long as they feel like wherever they feel like it. Just doodling around, hanging out,, hiking — having experiences and ejoying each other. Steve taught me the best way to cook and serve a Top Sirloin Steak. Not a London broil a Top Siloin — a full one. He would grill them on their little balcony of a condo complex on West Peachtree across from the Woodruff Arts center where they lived in a small condo. The subsequesntly moved into a wonderful house on Jacksonville beach where they ran a day care cetner while their first grandchild was growing up. Beautiful house. I stayed there a few times with them. And ocne the day care thing was over they leased this house and took off on the road. You never know where they are. He probabvly doesn’t know I have cancer either. I haven’t told him. Like I said, not the kind of thing you go around advertising. The grapevine will eventually let folks know. But Religious Science and Paul Gonyea brought Steve and I back in touch and that has been a real pleasure.
OK gonna fire up Stabat Mater by Karl Jenkins. I’m just gonnna listen to the whole thing while I write. Haven’t heard it in a while. We sang it here and like I said some Collegium folks sang in that Carnegie Hall concert of it. There were lots of choirs in that concert — probably a couple thousand voices — maybe not that many but Karl Jenkins directed it and they got to take workshops with him. And I was worried about money so I didn’t go. We’ll get to my regrets as we move on with this. We’ll probably get to everything. I hope so. I need to just let it all out. It has been a life well lived if I look back on it. I regret though that I have never been able to sustain a love relationship with a woman. Those of uyou with long loving marriages know what I’m talking about and that is most of you. I haven’t had that and that is a huge regret in my life. And it’s my own damn fault. I have sabatoged it every time. That is probably my biggest regret in this life. Not gonna dwell on that right now. Got better things to do.
Ave Verum just started. A lovely soprano movement. Let me see if I can find it and post it. Google has everything.
Now you can listen with me. I was telling Dave I think yesterday abouit singing choral music. I think I also spoke to Rick about it. Choral singing is all about blending. It’s about listening — to yourself, to the other singers of your part but also to all the singers of the other parts — paying attention and trying to create one sound using your voice to fill gaps but not stick out. It’s really the most amazing way to collaborate with others. It takes practice. But it is just so magnificent when you pull it off with a great piece of music. Our director Kevin Hibbard — who is also praying for me — is such a stickler for the listening to each other. Kevin learned from Robert Shaw. He sang with him. Robert Shaw for those that don’t know was the top of the top of choral masters in the US. He died several years ago. There is an American Masters show about him on PBS. You have PBS passport on your Roku or Apple TV you can look that show up like something on Netflix. It’s an hour or so about Robert Shaw. Well he came to Atlanta and built the choral singing scene here and we have one of the very best scenes in the country here for choral singing because all these folks that sang with Shaw started their own choirs.
He was a Master and he created something called count singing which we use to learn every piece of music. You count the beats out — 1-2 -Tee- four or One and da 2 and a Tee ..four. Whatever the time signature calls out. It’s hard — it was for me in the beginning of singing with Kevin. But I know how to do it now and it is such a great way to learn music. Once you learn the music by count singing it first, then you get to work on polishing it. Creating the blend, the balance, the dynamics of it. I’m over simplifying it but there is just so much joy in this kind of creativity. Let’s just listen for while. I’ll post another movement in a minute. I’m gonna go sit in the lving and room and listen.
Thane used to give us these little exercises — kinda like the course in miracles exercises — and one of them was to listen to pice of symphonic music and try to listen for just one instrument, Start with like the basses. Or pick out the clarinet, or the viola, of really anything but listen for just one instrument and see if you can follow it all the way through. These are exercises in AWARENESS. And AWARENESS is really and truly — ALL THERE IS.
Oh FUCK. I just responded to a Phishing email without thinking. It said it was suspending my Bellsouth email account. and I clicke dthe link and put in my password. Crap rap crap. I know Better than to just DO this. Now it looks like my Bellsouth account is suspended. Just sent a test email and it did nto go through. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Well all of you can use nedhenry@aol.com for now until I get this fixed. And those that know the gmail address can use it. AOL is my General mailbox. Bell south and Gmail are more specific.
JOHN I NEED YOUR HELP. I HOPE YOU’RE STILL READING THIS AND THAT IT HASN’T FREAKED YOU OUT TOO MUCH. I KNOW YOU’RE LOVING THIS MUSIC.
I’m gonna post this and call John and see what I need to do to correct this fuck up. If I lose that email I will lose lots of you.