Dying Woman Sorry She Won’t Get To See 37-Year-Old Son Grow Up

November 26, 2017 (theonion.com)

TULSA, OK—Saying she only wished she’d be around to look on with pride as he matured into an adult, dying woman Maureen McCarthy told reporters Monday that she was sorry she would never get to see her 37-year-old son grow up. “I was so looking forward to seeing the type of person Daniel will develop into once he leaves the house and ventures out into the world,” said McCarthy, adding that it broke her heart to realize that she wouldn’t be around to meet his first girlfriend or see him graduate from college. “Getting a driver’s license, landing his first real job, voting in his first election—God, there are so many milestones I’m going to miss. If only I just had a few more years.” At press time, McCarthy smiled as her darling son lounged on the couch reading comic books and decided to focus on whatever precious time was left.

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