by Calvin Harris H.W.,M

The Prosperos  is a distilled teaching of both Eastern and Western spiritual disciplines.  Eastern Teachings such as Buddhism have been reengineered and absorbed in the Prosperos teachings for the Western Mindset.  Eastern teachings were designed for an Eastern cultural mindset and as such for the Western mindset can create distortions along the way.

When I first started Translating, I encountered the concept of “letting go of your ego” almost immediately. I found it appealing. I gave in to envisioning “being one with all life” and “finding infinity in the present moment.”

Getting rid of my ego quickly became the main theme in my spiritual growth. Yet there was that nagging feeling that if there was a me of me in the I Am then my individuation must exist someplace somehow in there.

Letting go of the Ego, I learned was a Theme central to many in Eastern tradition practices. It was enlightening  when I came across a quote by the Tibetan Buddhist monk, scholar, and  meditation master Chögyam Trungpa, who had resided in Tibet and made his permanent home in Canada. Thus, he was versed in both Eastern and  Western culture. From that perspective  of both east and west  he was able to say: “It is important to see that the main point of any spiritual practice is to step out of the bureaucracy of ego.”  His quote can be found in his book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism  where he goes on to say “This means stepping out of ego’s constant desire for a higher, more spiritual, more transcendental version of knowledge, religion, virtue, judgment, comfort or whatever it is the particular ego is seeking.”

I know I’m not the only student in  Western culture involved in spirituality studies and  practices, who at one time or another have become obsessed with the necessity of ego abandonment rather than what my teacher Thane or Trungpa was advocating. That of piercing the veil between the spiritual and material Universe.  For me, instead, I made the  mistake of perceiving Ego as  Spiritual Materialism ( the bad guy)  and then  pursuing a  goal of  proof that I could overcome ego (the bad guy)  using my willpower of  spiritual virtue, and a  transcendent knowledge which of course was misguided, a lot of work, and it backfires.

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As a new Translator, I began attempts to toss away all desires, judgments, prohibitions, and constraints stemming from my alleged ego. I wanted to go with the flow, to embrace all the challenges that life brings without resisting.

It took about a year for me to realize something was wrong with this approach. I was not more spiritual or enlightened, my living, sexual and work environments were far from perfect. I wasn’t just overworked; I was also “fending”- you know providing for and at the same time warding off friends, family,  clients, and co-workers who like myself had little respect for my work-life boundaries.

During a business downturn year, at a company I was employed, there came  a  staffing crisis, I was given a larger workload and expected to take a  shorter lunch period — though, by then, I could barely manage my existing workload. Constructive  Criticism from the supervisor then became fault finding and scapegoating. Morale was low, the pressure was so intense, that I felt  If only I  had worked harder at my spiritual practice of  “letting go of my ego” and “allow things to just be”  it would all change. It never occurred to me at the time that  I couldn’t say no or stick up for myself.

I was so invested in Transcending the situation by misuse of the Prosperos technique  Translation, ( a form of writing meditation or sometimes called active prayer). encouraging me to simply “let go of my ego.”

By not using the practice fully, I was blind to the harm I was doing to myself. It did not occur to me or to remember the second part of our translation studies which says that after you do the written Translation, you listen for and do the practical thing.  The practical thing, in that case, would have been to talk to my supervisor, voice my needs and frustrations and seek a resolution and if need be, find a  new job.  That  I did not do, because I was so deeply focused  on  will power of get my ego out of the way.

Obviously, I was being self-righteous (self-deluded) . I wanted to have it my way — According to my spiritual convictions, just letting it be, going with the flow meant that everything would be instantly changed, a more relaxed, kinder working environment, proper lunchtime off. However, this conviction was The problem.   I was totally incapable of letting go of the situation,  or with my obsession to “let go” and do something different.

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As I spiraled into burnout and ended up sick with the flu for two weeks,  I reluctantly decided to use the Prosperos technique Releasing the Hidden Splendor  (RHS).  That is when I realized something: It was my lack of a strong ego, an individuation of Consciousness  that created these problems to begin with.

My inability to realize that under and back of the term “ego” was an identity known as Individuation of Consciousness which was part and parcel  of all, there is, which is Consciousness.  In other words, Consciousness knowing itself as Consciousness.   Getting sick was my body/emotion intelligence (somatic being}  way of forcing me to stand down as my last resort. My somatic being  forcing me to wind down at last,  from unimaginable levels of stress and exhaustion, physically and emotionally.

As I spent my days in RHS, I connected the dots — and realized I have been doing this all my life. My relationships were failing because I’d waited too long to express what was bothering me and getting clarity in my communication with myself and thus  had trouble communicating with others, for I was not coming from that place of clarity and truth..

All that time I didn’t realize that in order to “let go of my ego,” I had to get clarity of my identification about ego.

As I grew up, the “spiritual path” I chose seemed to reinforce my belief that this was the right way to deal with things (and perhaps this was why I was drawn to the path of least resistance initially). This was what “letting go of ego” meant to me at the time: not intervening with unpleasant events, but rather accepting them and growing in the discomfort.

I hadn’t yet realized that in order to truly “let go of my ego,” I had to make it known for what if truly was. My true identity is consciousness, learning to express itself in its individuation of consciousness.

Aloha Blessing

Calvin