Published: October 29, 2013 (TheOnion.com)

BOSTON—While speaking with his mother over the phone Monday evening, sources confirmed that 27-year-old marketing coordinator Daniel Hewitt lied about every single detail of his life in order to keep his parents from worrying about him.

Hewitt reportedly updated his mother with a litany of false information throughout the 18-minute conversation and, in an attempt to spare her from any distress, blatantly distorted the truth about his job, finances, social life, living situation, and overall level of happiness.

“Everything’s good here,” said Hewitt in the first of what would amount to over three dozen flat-out lies. “Work has been going well. It’s fun, and everyone at the office is really nice. I’m learning a lot.”

“I really love it out here,” Hewitt continued. “It’s great.”

Hewitt, who moved this past September from Bloomington, IL to Boston for a new job, is said to receive a phone call from home about once a week and has reportedly struggled to adjust to his new surroundings, feeling increasingly lonely and isolated. However, sources confirmed that the man who regularly questions whether he made a poor decision by relocating across the country has yet to report even one negative aspect of his life to his parents.

“My apartment’s great—it’s nice and big, so I have plenty of room,” said Hewitt, adding that his monthly rent is “pretty reasonable” and that he lives in “a really safe area” of the city. “Yeah, the heat works well, Mom—it’s nice and warm in here. And if there’s ever any problem, my landlord is very responsive and fixes things right away.”

“So, what have you and Dad been up to these days?” added Hewitt in a desperate attempt to steer the conversation away from himself.

According to reports, in order to prevent his parents from fretting about his financial situation, Hewitt vaguely claimed to be “making enough money” and “saving a little bit each month.” The 27-year-old went on to stress that he was in no need of any extra finances and neglected to mention that he currently has less than $400 in his savings account.

Hewitt, who has reportedly eaten frozen pizza for dinner four times this week and spends virtually every night after work zoning out in front of his television, then told his mother that he “started going to a gym recently.” Sources said that after he was asked about his company’s health care plan, Hewitt remained totally silent for several seconds before quickly muttering, “It’s good, really good.”

“I’ve made plenty of friends here in the last few months,” said Hewitt, reportedly doing his best to hide his congested voice so as not to alert his mother that he recently caught a cold. “I hang out with them all the time. We go out together and do all sorts of stuff. I’m definitely having a lot of fun.”

“I’m doing fine,” Hewitt added. “I’m really fine.”

Rather than explain that he spent the past weekend alone in his apartment sleeping until the late afternoon and then playing video games, Hewitt went on to say that he has “been seeing all the sights in Boston,” claiming that he has already visited a museum and that he went to a Bruins game the other week.

Fearing that she would discover the actual, authentic realities of his life, Hewitt then politely rejected his mother’s offer to come visit him, reportedly claiming that “now isn’t the best time, but maybe in a few months.”

“I’ll be sure to call you if I need anything,” lied Hewitt as the phone call drew to a close. “I actually have to get going, though. I have plans with some friends tonight.”

(Image from churchlifejournal.nd.edu)

Oh Christ, Thou Son of God.

My own Eternal Self.

Live Thou Thy Life in me.

Do Thou Thy Will in me.

Be Thou made flesh in me.

I have no will but Thine.

I have no self but Thee.

James Dillet Freeman, a poet laureate of the Unity Church, wrote this prayer, which first appeared in the book Be! The Christ Self Revealed. 

Take Hold of Our History: Make America Radical Again

Harvey J. Kaye

The eighteen essays and speeches in Take Hold of Our History render a manifesto – a call to remember, redeem, and embrace the American radical story and tradition in favor of cultivating American historical memory and imagination and making America radical once again. For too long we have allowed the right to hijack the past and suppress, efface, lie about, and/or appropriate the essentially radical story of America from the struggles of the Revolution to those of the Age of Roosevelt and the 1960s. And no less tragically, we on the left, apparently haunted by the worst of our national experience, have turned our back on our own story and deferred to the tales of conservatives and reactionaries. Fleeing from the past, we merely compound the tragedies and ironies of American history, for we turn our backs on both the nation’s democratic creed and radical imperative, but also the struggles from the bottom up, the struggles in which working people and others have laid hold of America’s revolutionary promise and succeeded in making the United States freer, more equal and more democratic, at times, radically so. As Bill Moyers put it in 2008: “Here in the first decade of the twenty-first century the story that becomes America’s dominant narrative will shape our collective imagination and our politics for a long time.” The time has come for us to advance that narrative.

(Goodreads.com)

On Borrowed Time: How World War II Began

Leonard Mosley

A detailed narrative of the diplomatic, political and military maneuvers that occurred between the Munich Agreement in September 1938, and the invasion of Poland in September 1939.

Acknowledgments
1 Aide-mémoire. Incident at Eger; Prophets of Armageddon; The antipathetic alliance
2 The road to Prague. “How long will this burlesque last?”; “Don’t you see?…It’s the German insurance companies that will have to pay!”; Hitler over Bohemia
3 Warsaw or Moscow? The Führer is sick; The panic pact; Hitler briefs his generals; The conspirators are worried; “You must think we are nitwits & nincompoops!”; Slow boat to Leningrad
4 Moment of truth. The walrus; Stalin makes up his mind; Hitler takes a hand; Ribbentrop’s hour of triumph
5 The sands run out. Mussolini reneges; The indefatigable Swede; Operation “Canned Goods”
6 World War II. Common action or another conference?; At last
Epilogue
Sources
Notes
Index
Maps

About the author

Leonard Mosley

Leonard Oswald Mosley OBE OStJ (11 February 1913 – June 1992) was a British journalist, historian, biographer and novelist. His works include five novels and biographies of General George Marshall, Reich Marshall Hermann Göring, Orde Wingate, Walt Disney, Charles Lindbergh, Du Pont family, Eleanor Dulles, Allen Welsh Dulles, John Foster Dulles and Darryl F. Zanuck. He also worked as chief war correspondent for London’s The Sunday Times.

(Image from Histroy.com)

“If we ever closed the door to new Americans, our leadership in the world would soon be lost.”

–President Ronald Reagan

January 19, 1989 (reaganlibrary.gov)

“Now, tomorrow is a special day for me. I’m going to receive my gold watch. And since this is the last speech that I will give as President, I think it’s fitting to leave one final thought, an observation about a country which I love. It was stated best in a letter I received not long ago. A man wrote me and said: ‘You can go to live in France, but you cannot become a Frenchman. You can go to live in Germany or Turkey or Japan, but you cannot become a German, a Turk, or a Japanese. But anyone, from any corner of the Earth, can come to live in America and become an American.’

“This, I believe, is one of the most important sources of America’s greatness. We lead the world because, unique among nations, we draw our people — our strength — from every country and every corner of the world. And by doing so we continuously renew and enrich our nation. While other countries cling to the stale past, here in America we breathe life into dreams. We create the future, and the world follows us into tomorrow. Thanks to each wave of new arrivals to this land of opportunity, we’re a nation forever young, forever bursting with energy and new ideas, and always on the cutting edge, always leading the world to the next frontier. This quality is vital to our future as a nation. If we ever closed the door to new Americans, our leadership in the world would soon be lost.”

Full speech at: https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/archives/speech/remarks-presentation-ceremony-presidential-medal-freedom-5

(Courtesy of Thom Hartmann)

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

Viktor Emil Frankl (March 26, 1905 – September 2, 1997) was an Austrian neurologist, psychologist, philosopher, and Holocaust survivor, who founded logotherapy, a school of psychotherapy that describes a search for a life’s meaning as the central human motivational force. Logotherapy is part of existential and humanistic psychology theories. Wikipedia

(Courtesy of John Atwater)

Secretary Claims Sheathing Penis ‘Just Too Risky’

Published: September 8, 2025 (TheOnion.com)

WASHINGTON—Claiming that 100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly paused an amorous moment Thursday to issue a dire warning to his mistress about condoms causing autism. “All of the increased cases of autism over the last decade can be traced to condom usage—at least from what I’ve been reading,” said the nude health and human services secretary, insisting the 32-year-old woman go wash her hands after touching a still-packaged Trojan-brand condom she had retrieved from her nightstand. “Something about the latex or maybe the friction encourages autism growth in the genitals,” he continued. “Or, it goes into your bloodstream and straight to your brain—and also into your sperm, which then becomes your future children’s brains. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I know it’s really bad. The media has been suppressing the evidence, since the major publications are basically run by condom companies these days, but it’s all out there if you know where to look. There’s even a medical journal called Condoms And Autism that publishes stuff all the time about how they’re so bad for you. Once put on, they stay in your penis system for, like, years, so I think it’s better not to risk it. Dental dams too, sorry.” Kennedy later announced that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration would be revoking its approval of condoms and banning their sale nationwide. 

(TheOnion.com)

Johfra Bosschart, Libra

The word “deliberate “ comes from Libra, and 2 Verbs “libare” to balance;
And “librare” to liberate.

So to be deliberate is to be in a state of Liberating Balance !

–Caroline Casey, Coyote Network News

Separation of Church and Hate: A Sane Person’s Guide to Taking Back the Bible from Fundamentalists, Fascists, and Flock-Fleecing Frauds

John Fugelsang

A deeply irreverent and Biblically correct takedown of the far-right and their co-opting of religion, and guide to engaging them in effective conversational combat

For more than two centuries the United States constitution has given Americans the right to live in a society where church and state exist independently and without conflict. So why is Christianity suddenly being co-opted by far-right groups, politicians, friends, and family members to justify oppressive and unequal policies? And how do we fight back against those acting—literally—in bad faith?

Separation of Church and Hate, by comedian and TV and radio host John Fugelsang—himself the child of a former Catholic nun and Franciscan brother—finally offers the answers. In this informative, perspective-shifting guide, Fugelsang takes readers through common talking points and arguments—God condemns abortion, gay marriage is a sin, guns are an ordained right, and more—and exposes their hypocrisy and inaccuracy through scripture, philosophy, and plain old common sense.

Told with Fugelsang’s trademark blend of radical honesty, relevant humor, and deep political and religious knowledge, Separation of Church and Hate is the book every American today needs. It’s a return to civility, a rallying cry for compassion and clarity, and a reclamation of the values and truths Americans hold dear. It’s for anyone raised Christian but now disillusioned by organized religion; for Democrats, progressives, liberals, and moderates fed up with the right wing pretending to own Christianity; for atheists, agnostics, and any one of any faith who’s sick of fundamentalists cloaking hatred in religion. It’s for everyone who’s realized that one doesn’t have to subscribe to a religion to be a good person.Show more

About the author

John Fugelsang

John Joseph Fugelsang is an American actor, comedian, writer, television host, political commentator and television personality.

In addition to his appearances on the late-night political talk show Politically Incorrect (1993–2002), Fugelsang has been a contributor to HuffPost weblog.

He is a regular commentator and guest on nationally syndicated progressive radio program The Stephanie Miller Show, and has served as guest host on occasion. His usual guest spot on the show is called “Fridays with Fugelsang.” He also tours alongside Miller and comedian/musician Hal Sparks as part of the Sexy Liberal Comedy Show. For 2017, the tour is now called “Sexy Liberal Resistance Tour” along with Frangela (Frances Callier and Angela Shelton). The first show for the new tour was at the Barrymore, April 22, 2017, Madison, WI.

He’s been featured on CNN, Fox News, Dennis Miller, The Young Turks, Air America, CNBC, and MSNBC. He served as the host on the Current TV political talk show, So That Happened. Additionally, he has contributed to Current TV’s coverage of the 2012 presidential campaign. In an appearance on CNN in 2012, a question of his prompted the Romney campaign’s Etch-a-sketch gaffe. On January 6, 2013, he replaced Eliot Spitzer as host of Viewpoint on Current TV; however, Current TV was bought by Al Jazeera America later in 2013. Since January 12, 2015, Fugelsang has been hosting Tell Me Everything, a talk show on Sirius XM Insight.

(Goodreads.com)