What’s the difference between guilt and shame?

May 12, 2021 Mike Zonta Leave a comment

June Tangney|How to Deal with Difficult Feelings

April 2021 (ted.com)

We all experience feelings of guilt or shame at some point. What should we do with them? Clinical psychologist June Tangney differentiates between constructive guilt and crippling shame so that we can learn to better identify and manage our feelings. (This video is part of TED’s “How to Deal with Difficult Feelings” series.)

ABOUT THE SPEAKER

June Tangney · Professor of clinical psychologyJune Tangney studies the moral emotions of shame and guilt, with a specific focus on currently and formerly incarcerated people.

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“An Infinite Mind requires an Infinite Body.”
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“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.”
– Jean-Paul Sartre

“Show up. Dive in. Keep at it.”
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“Give me some TRUTH!”
–Seen on a bumper sticker in Redondo Beach, CA

“At times I think and at times I am.”
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“I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth – and truth rewarded me.”
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“The Cosmic Intention is to evolve from a thing to a think.”
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“It is so respectful to not get involved in somebody else’s angst.”
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“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
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“Handsome is as handsome does.”
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“Voting is a spiritual activity.”
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“[B]y man came death. [By God comes life].”
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“The inner children of the past shut up when you listen to them.”
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“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”
–R.W. Emerson

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”
–Mother Teresa

“Loneliness is the poverty of self, solitude is the richness of self.”
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“Nothing that you lose is real. Nothing that is real can ever be lost.”
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“Man will not be satisfied until he is everywhere equally present.”
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“Human consciousness is how the universe understands itself.”
–Joe Ciriello, H.W., m

“Gravity is a matter of interest.”
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“There is NO gender to art.”
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“What was once invention is now convention.”
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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”
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“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
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“Curb your God.”
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“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will truly know peace.”
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“In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.”
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“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
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“The mind loves truth and so does the body.”
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“I’m afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery.”
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“There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the light that shines in your heart.”
— Chandogya Upanishad

“Love believes all things and yet is never deceived.”
–Soren Kierkegaard

“My life is not mine.”
–Rumi

“Every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage.”
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“Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure.”
–Rainer Maria Rilke

“Everyone has got some preconceptions, but you have to readjust them in front of reality. Reality has the last word.”
–Henri Cartier-Bresson

“Love? What is it? Most natural pain killer what there is. LOVE.”
–William S. Burrough’s final journal entry

“We acquire the strength we have overcome.”
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“I am all other men.”
–Schopenhauer

“Man is, that he might have joy.”
–Joseph Smith

“To the man who can perfectly practice inaction, all things are possible.”
–Ernest Holmes in Science of Mind

“People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you make them feel.”
–Tom Asacker

“We have a right to know the truth; no right to ask anything else from God, but the right to know that.”
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“If you don’t believe in something greater than yourself, you’ll never do anything greater than yourself.”
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“Boredom is the child of self-centeredness.”
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“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”
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“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that your life could have been any different.”
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“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.”
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“Don’t look at me like I’ve gotten old or something like that.”
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“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
–Martin Luther King Jr.

“Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away”
–Robert Fulghum

“I REFUSE to participate in a recession.”
–bumper sticker

“We believe . . . different from Wall Street. We believe customer No. 1, employee No. 2, and shareholder No. 3. This is my religion.”
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“Fear is a choice.”
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“Don’t Believe Everything You Think”
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“One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.”
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“When people asked [Jacques Cousteau], ‘Well, Captain, what do you expect to find?’ he always said, ‘If I knew, I wouldn’t go.’”
–Jean-Michel Cousteau, his son

“Let life happen to you. Life is in the right, always.”
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“And, as [Picasso] said, at the end of his life, he was in dialogue with the old masters, Rembrandt, Velasquez, Rubens. He thought he was talking to them and that they were talking back to him through his art.”
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“The world breaks everyone but afterwards many are strong at the broken places.”
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“Inside every head is a different world.”
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“Thank God our time is now, when wrong comes up to meet us everywhere, never to leave us till we take the longest stride of soul men ever took.”
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“If you’re neurotic and you think, I’m not where I deserve to be or my mother didn’t love me, or blah, blah, blah, that lie, that neurotic vision, takes over your life and you’re plagued by it ’til it’s cleansed. In a play, at the end of the play, the lie is revealed. [T]he better the play is, the more surprising and inevitable the lie is, as Aristotle told us. Plays are about lies.”
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“If you want to be a writer, you don’t want to live in a comfortable place.”
–Benjamin Alire Saenz

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
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“Often people think that it’s a question of adrenaline, [that] it’s an adrenaline addiction. I think what they are addicted to essentially is brotherhood. It’s a very healthy impulse that is taking place in a very unhealthy place.”
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“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.”
–William Blake in The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

“Love well, be loved and do something of value.”
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“Tread softly upon the earth because the faces of the unborn look up at you.”
–James Cameron quoting Brazilian tribal saying

“You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.”
–Wayne Dyer

“We will go through the gate. If the gate is closed, we will go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we will pole vault in. If that doesn’t work, we will parachute in.”
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“Most stuff that is genuine is better left unsaid.”
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“If things don’t seem out of control, you’re not going fast enough.”
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“We see things not as they are, but as we are.”
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“A change in the weather is sufficient to re-create the world and ourselves.”
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“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
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“Have an open-mind, but don’t let your brains fall out.”
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“When thought races ahead of Being, a civilization is racing towards destruction.”
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“A great man knows he is not God, and the greater he is the better he knows it.”
— G.K. Chesterton

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only at night.”
— Edgar Allan Poe

“Give thanks to unknown blessings already on their way.”
— Native American proverb at cafe in San Francisco

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
–e.e. cummings

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Bathtub Bulletin

What’s the difference between guilt and shame?

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Consciousness, spirituality, biography, sexuality, androgyny, futurism, space, the arts, science, astrology, democracy, humor, books, movies and more