Jerry Garcia Provided to YouTube by Stem Disintermedia Inc. Pranam · Jerry Garcia · Sanjay Mishra Front Street Outtakes ℗ 2021 Jerry Garcia Music Arts Released on: 2021-01-05 Auto-generated by YouTube.

January 7, 2021 • TheOnion.com

WASHINGTON—Projecting a calm, measured assurance as he reflected on his personal shortcomings, a content and mentally sound President Trump told reporters just minutes after his ban from social media Thursday that he had been “selfish and arrogant,” and he apologized unconditionally for his behavior. “I’ve lied to myself and the country, lashed out at those who love me, and hurt a lot of people along the way,” said Trump, who, after 15 minutes of being unable to tweet or post updates to Facebook, gathered together friends, family, and the entire White House press corps to let them know that love is the only thing that truly matters. “I just took a walk with a dear friend who I haven’t spoken to in ages, and as we sat on a bench staring at the Potomac, I asked him, ‘What am I doing with my life?’ Over the past quarter hour, I’ve realized that caring for others, lending a hand to someone in need—these are the only things in this world that can give a man true integrity. I hope you all have it in your hearts to forgive me for my pride and my many failures in this life.” At press time, Trump was overheard asking House Speaker Nancy Pelosi if she had ever noticed how beautiful a simple goldfinch was, while suggesting the two of them go birding together in the Adirondacks after he left office.

01.11.21 (wired.com)

Experts warn of Covid spread during the Capitol attack, New York loosens vaccination guidelines, and China authorizes a visit from WHO experts. Here’s what you should know:Headlines China authorizes WHO-led probe of Covid-19’s origins China has authorized a team of WHO experts to visit the country to investigate the origins of Covid-19 after almost a year of negotiations. The team will arrive on Thursday. Though the itinerary hasn’t been disclosed, they are expected to go to Wuhan after completing quarantine. Experts don’t expect this trip to reveal all of the answers about the beginning of this pandemic, but it’s an important opportunity for Western and Chinese scientists to compare notes and learn.

Stephen Dinan January 11, 2021 · Medium.com

In the tumult and emotion of January 6th, 2021 and its aftermath, it has been somewhat challenging to fully understand what we have just witnessed.

But it’s vital for our maturation as a country that we don’t evade the truth, which is already being spun.

We have just borne witness to an organized attempt by the United States President and a network of aligned groups to effectively overthrow the United States government as it prepares to transition power and thereby to keep that President in power.

If this had happened in a developing world country, we would all be clear that this was a coup attempt — botched and not particularly well-organized, perhaps, drawing upon far-right militias rather than the military proper— but a coup attempt nonetheless.

It is likely true that most of those who showed up that day did not think of it as a coup attempt and were at best riled up by lies about the election and partisan fervor.

But here are some facts that should give us some serious reflection:

1. The events were so well-organized in advance online that people had the time to prepare things ranging from pipe bombs to tactical gear to actual t-shirts reading “MAGA Civil War January 6, 2021” One Capitol Police officer said “That was a heavily trained group of militia terrorists that attacked us.”
2. There were clear warnings of the pending threat of violence, which did not result in Capitol Police, the FBI, or the National Guard making sufficient preparations, unlike during Black Lives Matter protests.
3. The “rally” Donald Trump led was designed to foment participants into a state in which “strong” interventions in the vote certification were sanctioned and seen as the patriotic thing to do. Rudy Giuliani referred to “trial by combat” and Trump threatened Vice-President Pence multiple times. It’s valuable to read Seth Abramson’s brilliant 200- tweet chain that breaks out the specific propaganda strategies in detail that convinced people the coming assault was necessary and patriotic and implied that “we” would do so together while Trump left to watch from afar.
4. The National Guard was delayed, by as much as two hours in the case of Maryland, while Pence rather than Trump was the one who ultimately called for their mobilization. Advance requests to have them at the ready were denied.
5. Some Capitol police officers allowed the attackers through and even took selfies with them.
6. Some attackers wore tactical gear and at least one carried plastic handcuffs into the Senate floor, which conveyed intent to take hostages.
7. Many reports and videos document the attackers chanting “Hang Mike Pence” and trying to find him. Trump made both direct and indirect threats to Pence in his speech, further inciting the crowd. There was a gallows assembled nearby so this was not just spontaneous chanting but consciously cultivated imagery for a “traitor” if he failed to block the certification of the vote, as Trump demanded. Pence could have been in real danger if he had been found.
8. Once the attackers were mobilized, Trump and Rudy Giuliani started working the phones to get Senators to challenge a more extensive array of 10 states (more than previously challenged) and draw the proceedings out further, which we have to assume was to give the attackers a chance at occupying the Capitol in order to intimidate and/or incapacitate politicians.
9. House Majority Whip James Clyburn’s office, which was unmarked, was targeted and he commented that something was amiss when he arrived early on Wednesday and a security perimeter had not been established. He said “somebody on the inside of those buildings were complicit in this.”
10. Multiple military allies of the United States say that they believe that Trump attempted a coup and had the support of Federal agencies charged with protecting the Capitol.
11. A report from Senator Ben Sasse (R.) who was in communication with senior White House aides, was that Trump was “delighted” by the reports of the storming of the Capitol.
12. Even in Trump’s video to tell the attackers to go home, he reiterates false claims and conveys to the attackers that “we love you” and that “you are very special,” conveying his approval for their actions that day.

The above evidence represents a tiny fraction of what we know and I expect far more details to confirm the pattern painted above such as the testimony of outgoing leader of the Capitol Police Steven Sund that his repeated requests for reinforcements were denied.

What is also clear is that the majority of Americans are remaining in a less disturbing narrative of “an angry mob that rioted out of control” which makes it seem like an emotional overreaction rather than understanding this was a planned and thinly veiled attempt at a coup. That coup did not use military “regulars” but incited paramilitary far-right operatives to prepare and engage in a way that would mask the intent. This coup attempt likely involved at least some collusion with members of the Capitol Police and possibly the Department of Defense. It aimed to disrupt the vote certification process, intimidate and endanger elected officials including the “traitor” Mike Pence.

One Black Capitol Police officer received a screenshot in advance from Proud Boys that said, “We’re breaching the Capitol today, guys.”

Since January 6th, it’s also clear that many militant forces see the attack on the Capitol as a success and are planning their next “armed march” on all 50 capitols for January 17th, which is evident in this poster.

So how do we react to the above?

How do we avert further escalation of violence and a de-escalation of danger?

The highest path forward now is for Republican leaders who wish to preserve the viability of the party for the future and our democracy for the good of all to take public responsibility for calling for the use of the 25th Amendment to remove Trump from power immediately. A President who cultivates a coup against the lawful transition of power cannot be allowed to stay another day. There is evidence that he has been further emboldened knowing that, even after all he has done, no attempt has been made by Republicans to remove him. My sense is that McConnell would likely have to play a lead role in this process, forcing Pence and the Cabinet to go where they do not wish to go yet. That is why I wrote a letter to Senator McConnell making the argument clear for him to do so. If you have any route to him, please do share that letter.

Second, Republican leaders who recognize the ongoing danger to the United States that we are now in, members like Senators Murkowski, Sasse, Toomey, and Romney, need to work hard both publicly and privately to form a movement to remove Trump from power by backing the use of the 25th Amendment as well as calling for impeachment by Republicans themselves and a demand to McConnell to come back into session. Without leaders from within the Republican Party spearheading this process, it will simply fit into the polarized political frame that Trump has activated around Democrats.

Third, everyone who participated in the attack on the Capitol, including organizers, speakers, and instigators who committed demonstrable crimes or colluded with such crimes from the inside, needs to be arrested and charged, as quickly as possible. Time is of the essence since there are clear signs online of further violence being organized around the 17th and the Biden Inauguration on January 20th. More arrests and clear consequences will deter at least some from participating.

Fourth, we need a critical mass of Americans to fully understand what has happened and to commit to giving no support to any Republican leaders who refuse to take a public stand of condemning and dissociate from any further support of Trump, as well as support bringing him to face justice for his actions. The fact that the Republican National Committee just re-elected Ronna McDaniel, a Trump loyalist, and made their gathering a celebration of Trump is a red flag that the party itself may not be redeemable and may need to go the way of the Whigs in the history books (see my own article on this from before the election on why this is the most likely trajectory). Given the drama of the events of January 6th, I do think an opening is emerging for principled Republican leaders to take responsibility for preventing further harm and for beginning the process of redeeming the party by removing Trump now.

Fifth, we need to ignore the calls to gloss over what has happened in the service of unity and healing. While those are noble goals, healing without accountability is a whitewash and not even possible. Trump and all those who supported and abetted this failed coup by amplifying lies for political gain, need to face accountability. Only the sight of Trump and his co-conspirators being held accountable for their actions against our nation can allow us to move forward. Every citizen needs to know that our laws apply to everyone.

Sixth, as the full gravity of what has transpired sinks in, the American people must never forget the Republican members of Congress who, after a violent assault on our most sacred citadel of democracy, still spread lies about election fraud by challenging the electoral college votes. It’s clear from Republicans such as Senator Ben Sasse that few to none of these officials were doing so because they truly believed the results were fraudulent but because they wanted to curry favor with Trump’s base. Because that base had been fed a steady diet of lies about the election, the only way for them to advance their future political ambitions, so they thought, was to become advocates for the lies themselves.

For that, they deserve a good share of blame for the desecration of our Capitol and the defilement of our democracy. I do not believe they will, in the end, be seen favorably by history. But we cannot allow them to cover up their lack of integrity. We need to be clear-eyed that they were lying for personal gain in a way that harmed our democracy and endangered our citizens.

A fire such as we have just faced can either destroy us or it can strengthen us, as former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger shared so eloquently in his January 10th reflection on what we have just witnessed. As one of the strongest of strong men and a lifelong Republican, Arnold’s vulnerability in sharing about the legacy of the Nazis during his time growing up in Austria is deeply moving. He shares how the siege of our Capitol could be seen as our Kristallnacht in an address that is stirring in its eloquence, truthfulness, and, yes, true patriotism. If you there is one thing about the election that you share with Trump supporters, share that.

Trump supporters are going to have to face a long road as they come to grips with the fact that they were party to the most treasonous attempt to overthrow our democracy that we have ever faced. That recognition will dawn slowly for some and not at all for others.

But the rest of us need to be steadfast in seeing the truth, calling for responsibility, championing justice and accountability, and then, and only then, moving forward in a spirit of unity and healing for all Americans.

Ultimately, we need a healthy left and right wing for the American eagle to fly into our true destiny as a united country. Trump’s legacy of lies and the treasonous uprising he instigated must be faced and cleansed for that healthy future to emerge. It will take time and we should not let Republican leaders off the hook from taking responsibility for the role they must play in it.

It is ultimately all of our responsibility to redouble our commitment to be conscious, committed citizens of our country and to protect it from further harm. It is also all of our responsibility to activate a vision for how we can go through a rebirth on the other side in which our highest commitments and deepest aspirations find their noblest expression for ALL Americans.

America’s destiny, I believe, is to demonstrate the coming together of all the world’s peoples into one thriving culture. E Pluribus Unum. By understanding the true nature of the wound we have sustained, we also illuminate the pathway to the cure, which cannot happen from dissociation or avoidance.

Ned Henry January 8, 2021 · (Nedhenry.medium.com)

Its’ 6:25 AM and I have been up all night again. I have only gotten 3 hours of sleep in a week. I just can’t sleep. I am exhausted, spent. I was up late last night as usual and got a text from the “Puzzle Club.” A couple of neices who started it this year to solve puzzles on a tear off calendar each day together. Rosie sent me the calendar for Christmas. Like a word of the day calendar. Evidently there was some error with today’s puzzle. So the three of us were texting — Rosie, Cynthia and me.

Here’s the exchange.

NOT TO ALARM ANYONE, BUT THERE IS AN ERROR ON TOMORROW’S PUZZLE. I am very disappointed in this unprecedented and grievous mistake.

LOL

WHAT is the world coming to?

Terrorists overthrowing the government, Kanye + Kim divorcing, and now Mensa!!

I haven’t gotten to the puzzles yet – it’s been real busy week on the medical front. But the news is good and your moms have all the information from today’s meeting with the oncologist. So I’m doing great. Just very busy. But I WILL get the puzzles soon. Maybe not daily bot soon.

Clearly in ranked order of magnitude

I saw the email! So glad to hear it ❤️

Just don’t hold your breath for January 8th when you get to it

I’m glad to hear it’s good news! You’re in our prayers all the time, for what it’s worth.

I’m not watching any news these days. I just don’t want the distraction from fighting cancer. So ..I’m in the dark. I did hear about the Georgia elections and my candidates won. Adn i did hear that the Capital was under siege but I don’t know any details and don

don’t want to. I can’t DO anything about it anyway.

It’s worth a LOT Cynthia.

That’s probably for the best, honestly. Staying plugged out is a mental health choice.

I’m gonna try to sleep. Sleep has been hard to come by. I love you both. Is that how big this club is – just 3????

Nighty night. It’s 12:30 AM here.

Yep, I think just is for now. Love you too, sleep well!

Shhhh “just”.
It’s called E X C L U S I V I T Y.

Love you-night!!

So I tried to sleep. My feet are cold. had translated that yesterday into Omnipotent Power Flows Through my Being for All Eternity. It was a good translation.

Couldn’t sleep. Oh no my feet are cold again. Go to bed. Get up and get a heating pad. The oncologist had told me tto use Benedryl instead of Ambien and to use an electric blanket for my feet. I took 50 mg of Benedryl as she prescribed. I don’t have an electric blanket. Sue had sent me some info about getting a mattress pad that plugs in and provides heat from underneath the bottom sheet. I didn’t have time yesterday to do research and purchase of what I was going to get on Amazon but I had done a good translation and my feet were not cold at that time. As the night wore on and I just lay there with increasing freezing feet — they felt like frost bite had set in —I decided to get up and go grab some blankets and sit in a recliner and see if I could warm up. I take another 25 mg of benedryl. I cranked the heat from 72 to 78. Nothing changed. I sat there and started crying. I sobbed and sobbed. I was so sleepy I could not bear it and I couldn’t go to sleep. I started practicing the course in miracles lesson from today (well — yesterday) I see only the past. In my mind, I tried to remember all the lesson so far and ruminate on them. These are hard to memorize. But I did my best. Over and over, nothing in this room matters. It should be “means anything” I do not understand what I see in this room — These thougths do not mean anything. I am upset because I see somthing that is not there. Each day’s lesson is a different mantra. Now in the book and in the course I am taking it says do not do these exercises more than 2 or 3 times a day. Well I need a miracle so I am practicing all day long. I did too much to fast. I should take a minute and tell you specifically that all these early lessons so far and I don’t where the rest of the course will go since I’m not there yet — are designed to sabotage the ego. The ego is what gets in our way to creating miracles. We THINK WE are doing something. Well that’s not it at all. WE aren’t doing anything. The ego needs to get out of the way. So I’m in this recliner sobbing my eyes out and my counselor on a crisis call this week had told me to try to label what I was feeling and just feel it. Be open top it. On the call earlier in the week it was Fear. Tonight it was utter despair. I wailed and wailed in the middle of the night in more pain. I became saturated with despair. I gave up. I gave up everything and I started to tell myself You are Nothing. Nothing Nothing Nothing. YOU can’t DO anyhting. I try to just let the feeling happen. My feet felt colder and colder. What the fuck is going on. I am completely exhausted my feet are freezing and I have no clue what to do and I realize that there is NOTHING I can do except to accept the reality I am living, let myself feel and then release. I do my work. I feel the pain the hopelessness. I try to find a memory that I can associate with the feeling but none come. I give up. I just tell myself that if this is my transition to just let it come. To accept it. To go with the flow. I am balling and balling as I do this. I don’t know what to do next. I get up try going back to bed but the sheets are cold as ice. I lay there and cry some more and get up and stumble around. I’m carrying my little weeping buddha. I think well maybe I need to sleep on my feet so the blood flow will go down toward my feet. I try to sleep standing up. Nothing works. I am dying. I try a different chair. Grab the blankets and try to wrap them around my feet. I call out to my mother to tuck me in — I appreciate that feeling of someone tucking you in. My mother didn’t really have time to tuck each of us in every night. And I’ve always thought that was no big deal anyway. But I ask her to come help me tuck myself in. I am in despair and don’t know what to do. The new label I that came to me was abandonment. I fell abandoned – totally and completely abandoned as I lay there sobbing. It’s about 5:30 or so by now. I call my counselor in LA. I get voice mail and leave a message that that I don’t think he can help me as I work through this but that I just needed someone to be with me. Message left. He might call back. I’m sure he’s alseep. There is no blame here. I am OK but I just want to have a presence with me. I reach out to Bob and Jane. Not much comes back. I scan in my mind through all the dead people I have spoken about on this blog. Nobody comes through. I am abandoned and experiencing what that feels like. I think about all the refugees in this world who feel this way every single night of their lives in those refugee camps. They are freezing and hungry and abandoned and hopeless night after night after night. I remember how lucky I am to have a house with a heater and food in the refrigerator. I try to turn the heat up from 78 to 80 and the app on my phone won’t let me go higher than 78. The air is dry and I can’t breath but my feet are still freezing. I am totally lost at this point. Utterly abandoned. I realize that Marianne meant it when she read do not do these exercises more than 2 or 3 times today. I decide that nothing else has worked so far so I will get up and start writing. And here we are. It’s 7 AM. I’m still tired. I’ll get on with my day. I have a Dr. appointment with lymphoma dermatologist at 1:30 this afternoon. I also decided that I would not look at today’s lesson in course of miracles and just slow down in this process of sabatoging my ego. I will continue it but with more care when I do and find reflections that are supportive as well as these that are undermining the ego. It’s a new day and I made it through the night. I’ll try to sleep again tonight but I will tell the doctor about this and see if she can give me something strong to knock me out tonight. I NEED to CRASH FOR 12 or 14 hours straight. I am asleep on my feet. Energized with the work I am doing on cancer but also very tired.

It’s 8:30 now. I put every blanket I own on the bed. I realized the comforter I have on the top of the one blanket I have on the bed has become disheveled and all the down in the comforter has thinned out as the down slipped further and further away from the center of the spreadspread. I think I have it figured out. I’ll put all the blankets under the comforter and see if can take a nap. Doesn’t work My left foot is numb with cold. I sleep on my side with a pillow between my legs. I’m on my left side so the bottom foot is freezing. So I get another pillow and put it underneath my left foot and put another one between my legs and try again. It’s even worse. There is no blood flow to my bottom foot the left one. It continues to be numb. And there is no sleeping. I sleep with that weeping buddha. It is a buddha you hold in your hands rather than put on a shrine. I have the buddha that Liz lent me sitting on this desk as I type so I reflect on that all day long. But I hold the weeping buddha when I’m sitting down someplace or relaxing and listening to music. And I sleep with it. Hold it in my hands as I try to drift off. I know you guys think I’m nuts. Oh well. So I get up realizing that my cancer is a BLOOD cancer. I’m being treated by the hematology dept at Winship. Oh, Light bulbs go off. It is blood flow that is not getting to my foot. Translation works this way — you finish one and it takes you right to the next one. So I’ll work on circulation next. I did refine that conclusion I came to when I translated My feet are cold. This will be my mantra today instead of the one from the course. Power flows through my being all the time. I need a new comforter. A good one that will keep the down in place. I’m exhausted. It’s 9 AM.

You don’t walk this path if you want someone else (Like God)to do the work for you and make it all better. You have to take responsibility for your own awareness. And ALL of it is just awareness. That is the only place my feet exist is in my consciousness. I am AWARE that my feet are cold. Much more work to do on this subject so I can finally get some sleep. It’s been since chemo and I still can’t sleep.

So if I (ego) can’t do anything how do I let God do something. If I think God is outside of me fixing my life, while comforting, is just not the truth to me. I am responsible. So how do I find the God INSIDE me that is not just my ego! That’s who I need to reach. That is my struggle.

11:25 Jack thinks I am having a bad reaction to the chemo. Carey had both of these symptoms in her chemo. Not being able to sleep and being very cold. I called the emergency number — no answer. I sent 2 portal messages and asked for help. The nurse called me back when I was talking to Jack on the phone. I described my symptoms and she put them in a report. Dr. Tarabadkar cannot help me with sleep issues or chemo reactions but the nurse does think I should keep the appt and have her look at the 3 areas of concern that are dermatology related. The cancer in my mouth, the open sore on my leg and the new rash on my back. Friday is clinic day for Dr. Allen. The rest of my chemo will be on Fridays. Now I wait to hear back from them. I had not considered this to be a chemo reaction until Jack pointed that out. I thought I was just fucking myself up with all this far far far out there spitiual work that I have been doing full time. I’m going to just sit and breathe. If Emory calls I’ll answer. And I will keep the 1:30 appt. It will be a humongous effort to drag myself down there but I will do it.

I’m doing the best i can. And this is the only way I know how to process all of it. This blog.

Noonish — no call back yet. Praying to a God out there to come and make me better has never worked for me. I know it does for many of you and that’s your way. It is not my way. The Prosperos techniques have worked for me in the past. If I’m honest I can say there are probably a couple of times when they saved my life. So in this crisis I went back to what has worked in the past. I’m trying. I really don’t know if it’s working or not. All I can do is try to let it by doing my own work. And the course in miracles is something new for me. I’ve had the books for years but never cracked them. So I’m taking this course that came up in my inbox in December where for $50 you get a video reading from the book and a short lesson. About 6 minutes long video every morning. There are 365 lessons in the course. One for each day. I’m at lesson 7. Lesson 8 came today and I have not listened to it yet. So that’s what I am doing. It’s pretty fucking far out there — I know that — but I don’t know what else to do. Oh and meditation. I read 2 days ago in the Path is the goal that in Sanskrit there is no such word as meditate. It not a verb. You do not go meditate. That concept does not exist. Meditation is a noun and that’s all it is. So you don’t meditate – you get yourself in a state of meditation. That’s is huge difference. It is more BEING in a state of mediation than DOING anything. Shit. I feel so fucked up. I am so tired. I’m confused. and I’m afraid. I just need sleep.

COLD FEET — There’s no dictionary definition in my dictionary which is a good one for it under Feet. Let me look under cold.

AH — Cold Feet — Informal) Lack of confidence; Timidity: Fright;

Example of use: “I’ve got some new clothes now…I bought em off a tenderfoot with cold feet.” (Rex Beach) I don’t know that author.

The work goes on and on and on and on. Life was so simple when all I cared about was Fantasy football and the latest episode of Bull and keeping up with the News. You could just skate through it. Cancer has changed all that now. It is a cruel fucking disease. It is forcing me to figure out my life. And I risk losing so many friendships by taking the path I’m on. I’ve always been lonely. My whole life. Maybe it’s time to talk about my girlfriends. I’ll see when I get back from the doctor.

Continue reading My Cancer Journey 1/8 →

Ned Henry January 7, 2021 · (nedhenry.medium.com)

Many of my friends — John, Sue and others sang in this virtual choir during Covid. I was going to but didn’t get it together in time. I tried another virtual choir but I really didn’t like just singing by myself. Each person sings and records and sends in their own voice individually. Someone technical puts all the voices together and creates something like this. My choir, Collegium Vocale started rehearsals for one of these virtual choirs this past Tuesday for the Spring semester of 2021. I decided with the cancer in my mouth and well the cancer in general and all the appointment and shit and the full time Sprint I’m in that I would sit out the one they are doing in January. They will also do one in February and March so 3 total are planned. It’s not quite the same for the singer since we all all separated but it is a way to keep us singing during Covid. I will sing in the February and March virtual concerts if I can. Here is the website for Collegium Vocale. I am sure they will post these virtual concerts whenever they get finished. We are some 50–60 singers. The piece above is by 17,500 singers from all over the world.Collegium Vocale SquareSpaceDear friends, I hope you are all well and staying safe during these bizarre circumstances. We face the challenge of…cvchorus.org

Vesna texted me an offered me some flannel sheets she isn’t using. unfortuately they are Queen size and I have a King. I’ve got them on order and they will come when they come. Sometimes Amazon surprises you and things just get here much faster than they say. But is was just so sweet to get her text. She’s a love.

Oh I did get my Bellsouth email stuff finally all fixed and am now getting the Bellsouth emails on my phone. It just took me slowing down enough to figure it out. I need this since Emory uses that address.

So I get this email from Loyola High school:

“Dear Gentlemen of the Great Class of ‘68,

I just wanted to take this time to wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas.

It’s been a very challenging year to say the least — please know you are always on our mind. We are always grateful for our dear alums and the Loyola community as a whole.

While we are not able to host a Christmas Eve Mass in person this year, we are offering it virtually streamed from our very own Clougherty Chapel tomorrow evening at 5pm.

If you have not already RSVP’ed, we hope you will join us and feel connected to your classmates and to the High on this very special holiday. Let us know here if you’d like to tune in. <https://bbox.blackbaudhosting.com/webforms/linkredirect?srcid=27531045&srctid=1&erid=1802842627&trid=633d0690-dcaf-4b16-961b-1d59aa7f042e&linkid=247005002&isbbox=1&pid=0>

Take good care, and we truly look forward to seeing you in 2021 and brighter days ahead for us all.

Merry Christmas,

Patrick”

I went there for my Junior and senior years of high school. Loyola is on Venice Blvd at Normandie if I remember in LA LA. LA LA is what they called it when you actually live in LA like we did. Not La La like the movie. L.A.L.A. Loyola sends lots of fund raising stuff. Now I give maybe $3K to charities each year and I know the ones I want to support and Loyola is NOT on that list and probably never will be. It is THE Jesuit high school in LA and has been around forever and is an expensive college prep high school. They have money and they have rich alumni and I am not rich. Now I’m sure they also have scholarship programs and things like that as well. But they are not on my list. But I have something on my mind so I send this back to Patrick. I have no idea who this guy is.

“This might be too much to ask but I am trying to locate a photo of a classmate from 1868 named Fred Parker. Fred passed away several years ago and I believe Father Eddie Samaniego — also a classmate from ’68 and close friend might have performed the funeral service for Fred. I have been diagnosed in the last 2 weeks with stage 4 lymphoma and am trying to find connection with my close friends who have passed on from this life and Fred was my best friend in high school at Loyola. I would like very much to have a dialogue with him while I go through my struggle. I know this is a real long shot but I thought you might have the old yearbook from our senior year and could snap a photo of Fred’s picture and send it along. I would be most grateful. And would also be grateful if you added my name to the prayer list at Loyola.

Thank you so much.

Ned

BTW — My name is the class year book is EDMUND HENRY. I also had 2 brothers who went to Loyola — David Henry and Jack (John) Henry.

Ned

Just Being “Not Racist” is Not Good Enough Anymore”

He writes back:

“Good evening Ned,

I am so so very sorry to learn of your diagnosis. I am praying for you and will absolutely let our Jesuit community know to keep you in their daily prayers.

I won’t be in the office until the middle of next week, but as soon as I am able to be there, I will absolutely find your yearbook and find any pictures of Fred. And I’ll be happy to send those your way.

If there is anything else I can do or if you have any other requests like this, please do let me know.

I hope you are hanging in there as best you can during this extraordinarily difficult time.

God Bless,

Patrick”

I reply: “Thank you so very much Patrick. Fred and Eddie (who is now a Jesuit priest) and I were all in that class and all went to the same grammar school close by — St. Gregory’s. We were thick as thieves in grammar school. In high school Eddie made the sports teams but Fred and I did not so we just hung out together. He came into my mind at this time for some reason and so I am so happy you can look for picture for me so I can connect and remember him.

Have a glorious Christmas and I look forward to the mass today.

Thank you.

Ned

Just Being “Not Racist” is Not Good Enough Anymore”

I attended the virtual Christmas mass this year at Loyola. It was really kind of all over teh place due to Covid. The readings were recorded from a different location at a different time as was the choir but it was a typical boring Catholic mass. Now I am not a church goer as most if not all of you know. I stopped going to mass after I left home after high school. And but for a year or 2 when I lived in Lilburn (I went to St. John Newman there for a year or 2), I only went to mass when I visited my parents and I went with them. Other than that I am your typical “fallen away” Catholic. But if I can on Christmas I like to watch the pope’s mass from St. Peter’s. I love the pagentry and the spectacle and well you know I was Bishop Manning’s favorite altar boy so I got to do cool stuff at the big Christmas midnight masses he did. So I’ve caught the pope’s mass a couple of times over the years and enjoyed it.

So I get nothing back from Patrick and I figure oh well, it fell through the cracks. I am starting to get my shit together a little bit more than I was at Christmas time. I’ll just keep moving forward and not worry about it. Yesterday he writes back.

“Hello Ned,

I hope this note finds you doing as well as can be.

I was not able to make it into our offices until earlier today, and I wanted to make sure to make good on your request. So, I snapped a few photos from the Class of ’68 Yearbook. I found a few of you and also one of Fred. Please see the attached. I hope this is helpful. If you need anything else like this, please do reach out and let me know. I am more than happy to help with anything.

Continued thoughts and prayers for you.

Wishing you all my very best,
Patrick”

And I respond with this: “Patrick,

Thank you so very much. As I go through this I am looking back at my life and trying to make sense of it all. I am writing a blog (and not that I care if you look at it), it is my process which I would say is pretty unique, pretty rough and pretty untraditional and way out there. I’ll add a link here. It is public. It is me processing cancer but really processing my whole life. I have mentioned Loyola a little bit but Loyola was not a very important stop on my journey of life. But these memories of my time there are precious to me. Right now all my memories are precious to me. I am doing very well. I have had brain and spine MRI’s this week and have a very important meeting with the oncologist on Thursday. But this is a Sprint not a marathon. Cancer is sprinting through my body and I now have chemo sprinting with me. And one of us is going to win and I hope it’s me but I am OK no matter what. I’m doing very well. And I am busting my ass 24/7 to learn and grow from this experience.

Here’s the blog. I don’t know you at all. But it’s an open blog and if anyone wants to walk this journey with me they can. Fair warning — there’s lots of bad language if you’re sensitive to that. And I did not walk a Christian path.

My Cancer Journey. Ok I’m new with this blogging stuff — … | by Nedhenry | Dec, 2020 | Medium

But now I can ask Fred to come along if he wants thanks to you.

I am very grateful.

Ned

Just Being “Not Racist” is Not Good Enough Anymore

So that’s my conversation with Loyola. Well get to Fred and Eddie in a minute. But I did want to mention St. John Newman in Lilburn and talk about why I went back to church there. I decided to check it out when my parents visited I think. Maybe it was for my wedding. They went to mass every Sunday no matter what. Growing up my Dad went to 6:30 mass every day before he went to work and he would get me up at 6 and drag me with him in case the alktar boys didn’t show up. He did NOT want to be tasked with any kind of job at mnass. We had many knock down drag outs over that when I just went back to sleep when he went back upstairs for his shower. I don’t remember how or why I went to St. John Newman for the first time but I liked it. (I also played basketball in the over 30 church slow break league which is where I met Pete.) I liked the music and the singing and I liked the ritual of the mass and I really liked the priest who gave the sermons. They were good sermons — relevant and timely. He was a married Catholic priest – very rare. He had become an Episcopal priest and was married and then later converted to Catholicism. So he got stay married. I think all Catholic priest should be allowed to marry. If that was the reality when I was in the seminary I might have become a priest and my life’s path would be entiely different. I found out later that some 8 or 9 of my classmates at the seminary who became priests were child abusers. I looked it up when the LA diocese published the names. And MOST of the abusers on the list came under Cardinal Manning’s watch (yes our pastor at St. Gregory’s when he was an auxiliary bishop for LA). Now I am dealing with a lot of SEX stuff right now. Maybe I’ll share it maybe I won’t. I will keep working on it. But it is the reality that my attitude about sex has been fucked up almost all of my life.

So here’s Fred Parker and here’s me in high school at Loyola. At St. Gregory’s, the Catholic school a half a block down the street where we all attended church and school, in my class Fred was always the class president, I always won the religion award and Eddie Samaniego (now Father Eddie Samaniego, SJ) always won the athlete awards. But we were all smart and good at sports. And we were all good friends. Eddie’s father was on the draft board when I got drafted after I quit college and he helped me avoid going to jail or prison or something because I was NOT going to Vietnam under ANY circumstances whatsoever. I saw Eddie a few years ago. He and his mom Chatta visited my mom and me at Scripps when my

mom got sick after an operation that turned out to be the cause of her death but I will talk about her someday later. So I saw Eddie about 15 years ago. He looked good. It was a good visit with the 4 of us. Not sure where he is anymore but he was the one of us that turned into a Jesuit priest even though I was the one that won the Religion awards. Funny how things turn out. Fred died about oh maybe 25 years ago. We had lost touch and he had a family and lived in LA and I was in Atlanta doing all the crazy shit you’re reading about and well we never connected again really. Hut he was my best and really ONLY friend at Loyola. You see I came there as a junior so I did not build 4 year high school friendships there. Those were already established. But Fred and I carpooled to school every day with another guy that had a car and we ate lunch together every day for those 2 years and we got to know each other better than ever. He was a modest guy, well liked, friendly. I developed the same kind of closeness I had with Gavin at ATT in much the same way — by sharing lunch every day day after day. Other Loyola kids would play poker at lunchtime or do something else. They were wearing their Letter Sweaters every Friday — like Eddie who played basketball there AND at USC where he went for college. Fred and I were not part of that popular crowd. But he was a good friend and I wanted to write about him since he also is on the other side. And I do hope we reconnect. Patrick also sent a couple of other photos from the yearbook of me in Karate club. I didn’t make the varsity basketball team or baseball team. Loyola was a pretty good sports high school then and probably still is for all I know. But anybody could join the Karate Club run by the chemistry teacher who I liked so Karate was my high school sport. We never did any competitons or anything but we got our little white karate clothes with white belts and practiced. So that was high school. Nobody except me went to Santa Cruz from our Loyola class. And I lost touch with anyone there I ever knew. But I had a really good English teacher senior year and got that great Jesuit education for 2 years at least. Jesuits are generally considered pretty smart. I have no idea if Patrick will read any of this. But my guess would be probably not. But I am very grateful that he took the time to help me remember all of this stuff about my high school experience. That’s what I said yesterday in this blog. I am exploring my memories of the past here and it is all good.

So I got an email from Louisa. Louisa runs the refugee ministry at All Saints Episcable church. A BIG chuch in midtown. Sue goes there and Sue is very active in this ministry as well. I used to teach English classes to refugees at IRC but Covid and a misunderstanding about boundaries put an end to that so I haven’t been teaching at all this year. Anyway, Louisa put me together with a 14 year old sophmore in high school student to tutor him in Math. Sue told her I was available. Yunus is a refugee from Myanmar and has had a rough life. I don’t know it all. Most of it is confidential and he hasn’t opened up about it. He is absolutely LOST in Algebra. Well I’m no great shakes either these days. I loved alegebra in high school — took 2 years of it but it’s all gone except for cross multiplication. But since Yunus couldn’t keep up with his “virtual” classes anyway, we tried other subject and we’d have these sessions once a week on Zoom where I’d help him with whatever. Biology, Geography whatever he wanted. He’s a good kid but he really is a 14 year old kid. Kind of doesn’t really care all that much. He doesn’t show up online for his classes and he is starting the whole muslim praying thing now where he prays several times a day. He’s active in his mosque. And so the time we have scheduled is getting shortened because he “has to go pray.” I fully support him no matter what he wants to do — even if he wants to bail on the whole deal. But I try to tell him that it’s important. He says he wants to work in a restaurant and I tell him well how are you going to add up the check if you can’t do math. I want him to see that math is practical and that he needs to learn it. btw — His English is excellent. He’s been in the US for 4 years or something. Well I started this cancer journey at Thansgiving and he was on break. We had a couple of shortened sessions in early December and they have been off for the holidays for the last 3 weeks. I have told Louisa that I have cancer and that I really don’t know what my schedule is going to be but that I wanted to keep working with Yunus but only if Yunus wanted to do it. I think it is good for me and will help my healing as well. So she asked me if it was OK to tell Yunus I was sick but that I would continue but might miss some sessions for chemo or medical stuff. So I told her for sure and to tell Yunus I had cancer and to work on his math. I haven’t heard back yet but I hope we get to continue. Sue helped us go back to find a spot in the IXL curriculum for math when he got lost. She put an aptitude test together and I asked him to solve the problems in one of our sessions and he’s at about 5th grade level. Decimals and fractions. So we bailed on algebra since neither us really had a clue and went back to fractions and decimals where I am more comfortable too. That’s where our session have been for the last couple of months. Of course all these excuses from him about showing up at all (he forgot) and needing to go pray are still there but if he really wants to continue with me, Louisa wants me to continue and she will spell me from time to time if I need that. She also expressed an interest in the blog. I do tell people it helping me heal but it is pretty far out there. So I wrote her back and told her how I was doing, shared the blog with her — she doesn’t really know me but she is a lovely human being and committed to helping refugees full time. So we’ll see what happens. School is back in session next week and I am going to FINALLY have a week off I think from all the tests and labs and appointments. Yunus is at Clarkston High and they are all online classes. But tutoring would on Zoom whether he ends up going back to live classes as Covid winds down or not. He’s a good kid. But at a 14 year old maturity level after a hard life.

I think you’ve head this one before but I feel like listening to it.

You know I don’t subscribe to You Tube so I get the commercials but after 3 seconds I can skip them Are you getting the commercials? Lots of them for the IRC. One organization that I do actively support. The one I volunteered at teaching English classes.

I guess the government is melting down. I’m getting news alerts and text flows all damn day about the capital. I haven’t turned the TV on. I can’t DO anything about it so why let the noise intrude on my work. I’ll find out soon enough what happened. I did turn on the morning news this morning after I saw an alert that Warnock had won and saw an interview with him. Was really glad about that. Ossoff was ahead too but hadn’t been declared the winner yet. He might have been by now. Hope so. Maybe Georgia has turned a corner.

Gonna sign off for now. I am writing on 1/6 still but won’t post this until tomorrow night. I want you to have time to think about what I said yesterday about what I need from you.

I just got an email that brought me so much JOY!!!

Now it’s REALLY 1/7 at almost 9 AM. I did what I said I would do yesterday and will post this tonight so this read will probably long depending on what happens. I have the most important ZOOM today with the oncologist at 2:30. Sue is going to be there. I will find out if this has spread to my brain or not. We don’t think so but the MRI results will be back and she can tell us what they are. I’m ot nervous about it. My course of action is the same whether or not it is positive.

Vesna had some trouble last night. I know kind of what’s been going on at the Capital. I get news alert on my phone and but I did not turn the TV on. Medium is telling me they can’t save this draft so I am going to start a new draft.

Continue reading My Cancer Journey 1/7 →

Democracy Now! House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is threatening to begin new impeachment hearings against President Trump if Vice President Mike Pence doesn’t invoke the 25th Amendment of the Constitution to remove Trump from office for inciting his supporters to storm the Capitol. Calls are also growing for Republican Senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley to be expelled or to resign for supporting Trump’s effort to overturn the election and fanning the flames ahead of last week’s insurrection, and authorities are warning about more right-wing violence ahead of Inauguration Day on January 20. Ruth Ben-Ghiat, a New York University historian whose work focuses on fascism, authoritarian leaders and propaganda, says the storming of the Capitol was “a logical result” of Trump’s legitimization and encouragement of right-wing extremism since 2016. “The threat to democracy is not outside our institutions only. It’s coming from inside,” Ben-Ghiat says. #DemocracyNow Democracy Now! is an independent global news hour that airs on nearly 1,400 TV and radio stations Monday through Friday. Watch our livestream 8-9AM ET: https://democracynow.org Please consider supporting independent media by making a donation to Democracy Now! today: https://democracynow.org/donate FOLLOW DEMOCRACY NOW! ONLINE: YouTube: http://youtube.com/democracynow Facebook: http://facebook.com/democracynow Twitter: https://twitter.com/democracynow Instagram: http://instagram.com/democracynow SoundCloud: http://soundcloud.com/democracynow iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/demo… Daily Email Digest: https://democracynow.org/subscribe

https://abcnews.go.com/US/armed-protests-planned-50-state-capitols-fbi-bulletin/story?id=75179771&fbclid=IwAR3v9y_nHHZdPa0uE8vxaAx52syH4slhrOI2JMW5366SjS4RPkvClD4rI5A

by Astro Butterfly (astrobutterfly.com

We have a New Moon in Capricorn on January 13th, 2021 at 23° Capricorn. 

The 1st New Moon of 2021 is an incredibly powerful one, because it is exactly conjunct Pluto. 

Imagine yourself cuddling on the couch next to your cat or dog. You feel cozy, comfortable and relaxed. Got the picture? Well, this is everything this New Moon is NOT. 

The New Moon in Capricorn is anything but comfortable – and anything but cuddly. The New Moon in Capricorn is serious and demands your utmost attention. 

New Moon in Capricorn – The Capricorn Archetype 

Normally Capricorn rules the Government, big corporations, big institutions, and global and national leaders. At an individual level, Capricorn is our ‘operating system’, how we ‘function’.

Every move we make, any decision we take is first filtered through our Capricorn operating system.

Capricorn is our Higher Self, and the reason why we don’t just eat 10 chocolates a day or get into a fight with a stranger – even if sometimes we may feel like eating 10 chocolates or getting into a fight with a stranger. 

Capricorn is our inner traffic light system, and we run all our decisions through it. We are not always aware of why we act the way we do, or how we seem to ‘know’ how to make sound decisions and how to stay out of trouble.

Capricorn is our inner boss, our inner guidance, our inner parent that sometimes says no, but wishes us well. Capricorn is our inner authority.

Of course, our inner authority, just like any old computer or “rules and procedures” – needs an occasional reboot.

That’s why, every time we have a New Moon in Capricorn (Capricorn New Moons in Capricorn always occur at the beginning of the year, between Dec 21st and Jan 19), we push the reset button and start again.

Hence, the New Year’s Resolutions. And while we may not always stick to these New Year’s resolutions, there is a reason why we make them. That reason is the New Moon in Capricorn. 

You may have noticed that these New Year’s resolutions are always about serious matters, and are very much Capricorn-like. No one says “I want to eat more sugar this year!” or “I want to watch more Netflix”.

Our New Year’s resolutions are about getting fit, achieving some sort of professional success, and becoming better humans. Because that’s the essence of Capricorn. Capricorn wants us to rise higher, and become better and better versions of ourselves. 

Pluto – Total Transformation 

The New Moon in Capricorn is just 1 degree away from Pluto. Since we don’t have any other aspects, this New Moon in Capricorn is as Plutonic as you can get. 

In astrology, Pluto is synonymous with transformation and rebirth, however, we use these words so much that they have somehow lost their meaning. 

A caterpillar turning into a butterfly is a beautiful example of a deep transformation, followed by a rebirth. The butterfly is no longer a caterpillar. It is a completely new being. It no longer crawls. It flies. This is not just a one plus one equal two type of transformation.

It’s not that we add some wings to a caterpillar and we get a butterfly.

Its operating system has been completely reset. New rules and pathways have been created. The butterfly is a completely new being. 

New Moon In Capricorn Conjunct Pluto – Reset. Renewal. 

Every year we have a New Moon in Capricorn. How is this New Moon in Capricorn different from last year’s New Moons in Capricorn?

Last year’s New Moon in Capricorn shared the sign with Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter, Mercury and the South Node. It was a crowded house. 

Since Saturn, Jupiter and the South Node are no longer in Capricorn, we can now “do the Pluto work” without distractions. 

The theme of the 2020 New Moon in Capricorn was “Resilience”. Some sort of “hang out in there and become stronger, because you will NEED it”. 

The theme of the January 13th, 2021 New Moon in Capricorn is “Renewal”. You are now READY for rebirth.

There’s no more Saturn to slow you down – and the heaviness and containment associated with Saturn are gone too. No more Jupiter to blow things out of proportion. And no more South Node to remind you of your past – and the possible consequences and ramifications of your actions. 

The New Moon in Capricorn conjunct Pluto will feel like spontaneous combustion.

Pluto will completely destroy our inner authority (Capricorn) so that a new operating system – a “new you” can emerge. 

Like any combustion, the process won’t be easy, and will require your total surrender. You can’t go on a round of negotiations with Pluto. You go as you are, stripped of any judgements or expectations.

Let the purifying Plutonic flames follow their own course and burn down what needs to be burned.   

Just like a Phoenix bird, you will too witness a total rebirth. From the ashes of the past will rise a new you – wiser, stronger – and also lighter, purer, and freer.

This metamorphosis process – while intense – will feel rather liberating. Fear not. You may even like your new pair of wings.

Free Audio Books Online Alice In Wonderland Full Audio Book Online – Storynory – Free Audio Stories for kids