Discomfort is a part of life. Whether we like it or not, sometimes we’re faced with uncomfortable, painful situations that can trigger negative emotions and physical symptoms. Major life disruptions like losing a job, going through a breakup or fighting with a friend can leave us anxious, fatigued and unable to focus and sleep well.
But there’s a difference between discomfort and distress, says Dr. Kali Cyrus, a Washington, D.C.-based psychiatrist. Distress occurs when you experience stress and “discomfort at extreme levels” over a long period of time, to the point that it negatively affects your everyday life.
You can prevent this emotion, says Cyrus, by paying more attention to your body and mind — and learning how to be OK with being uncomfortable.
How to prevent discomfort from escalating into distress
? Change the scene. If you catch yourself spiraling — you can’t seem to catch your breath, you’re feeling anxious or you’re having trouble focusing — find a way to snap out of it. “Go outside, go to the bathroom, call a friend, take a few deep breaths,” says Cyrus.
Your nervous system is being flooded with stress hormones, making it hard to calm down or see things clearly. So you need to interrupt the feelings that are overwhelming you by changing your environment, she adds.
? Recount what happened. Go over the situation again and create a narrative, says Cyrus. This can help pinpoint what is giving you distress and jog your memory of details you may have overlooked that can add levity to the situation. Do this with a friend, a family member, a therapist — or even yourself, by journaling or “talking out loud as you walk your dog,” says Cyrus, as she likes to do.
? Name your emotions. As you describe what happened, name your emotions, she adds. She recommends using the feelings wheel, a tool that can help you express your emotions more specifically (for example, instead of saying you simply feel “bad,” maybe you actually feel “indifferent.”)
‼️ Identify your triggers. Examine what gives you discomfort. For example, if you have terrible road rage, Cyrus says to have a conversation with yourself about it. You might ask yourself: Why am I prone to being so angry on the road? Is it because I am in a rush? Or is it because I hate sitting in traffic?
Then, find ways to alleviate the situation. To avoid being rushed, maybe leave the house a half hour early. To avoid traffic, ask your boss if you can work from home a couple times a week.
