• by Lou Fancher
• Saturday, May 16, 2026 (ebar.com)

Petey Gibson in ‘Becoming a Man’ (photo: Nile Scott Studios and Maggie Hall)

It would be reductive, if not insulting, to say memoirist P. Carl’s play, “Becoming a Man,” is merely one trans man’s story. Following its world premiere at American Repertory Theater (A.R.T.) at Harvard University in 2024, the book-turned-theater production makes its West Coast premiere May 28 at Z Space in San Francisco’s Mission District.

Z Space Executive Director Shafer Mazow, in a press release announcing the play’s pending arrival, wrote that Carl’s story of becoming a man, after living for 50 years as a girl, then as a queer woman, is “much more than a trans narrative.” Rather than presenting a simplistic explanation of gender or a story attempting to colonize all trans lives into singular ownership, the work illuminates the full spectrum of courage, joy, suffering, actual and existential heartbreak, understanding, and forgiveness required of trans people and anyone trying to lead a most authentic life.

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The play in San Francisco features Petey Gibson as Carl, joined by cast members Laura Domingo, Eric Esquivel-Gutierrez, Erin Gould, Shoana T. Hunt, Casimir Kotarski, and JoAnne Winter. Directed by Lyam B. Gabel, performances continue through June 14.

Entry points
In addition to his award-winning memoir, Carl has written numerous essays, written and directed plays and television, and founded the online journal, HowlRound, in 2011. As a social activist and educator, his presentations and public speaking engagements address white masculinity in America.

More broadly, the story of his marriage to Lynette D’Amico dissolving, reconciling the abuse and transphobia he endured from his own family, and his decades-long battle to live fully–not according to biology but by becoming a man– represent a kind of massive, on-all-fronts breakup. Which means entry points are nearly unlimited. After reaching the teen years or young adulthood, very few people of any race, ethnicity, and, trans, cis-gender, or gender-free have never received or delivered an “I think it’s over.”

In an interview with the Bay Area Reporter, Carl said more about the storytelling risk required of theater for the industry to be healthy.

“The only way I’ve ever known for people to be moved are stories,” he said. “They see their humanity, another person’s humanity, and that their humanities are not so far apart. My play is a trans play now. It did incredibly well at American Repertory Theater. No one has touched it since. What you mostly see now is capitulation. We will have no politics; we will be neutral. If theaters and higher education institutions are not willing to stand up for what’s right, they have no courage. It is not healthy.”

Activist self
Carl’s relationship to the play has evolved and the lessons learned continue to bloom in his consciousness.

“It’s funny, I’m not a person who thinks, ‘Oh gosh, my work is so important it has to be seen. It’s gonna change the world.’ I wasn’t expecting its success at ART. This time, I feel much more invested in the importance of story; not because there’s one story, but because hardly anyone’s doing shows about trans people. We have to feel connection again.”

Carl plans to be In San Francisco for the entire six weeks of rehearsals and first runs. Normally reticent (he calls himself “not super-social”), he is determined to “pull on my activist self” to interact with people in the Bay Area. Part of the motivation comes from trans students he teaches who find him and express the urgency of their lives.

“It’s heartbreaking for me, so it’s now life or death for me,” said Carl. “The goal in 2026 is to erase trans people, not just deny them their rights. I thought the stakes were high in 2024, just to move the needle forward, and now, we’re disappearing. Trans people’s economic and family relationships tend to be precarious. The cruelty factor really gets to me.”

Most formidably, power and cruelty have joined forces.

“That’s not always been the case, Carl said. “There have been people –Joe Biden is not a cruel person– who have had power who do not use cruelty as your tool. Watching the whole Republican Party say if it gets us money, we’ll say whatever we have to say, that’s not been the case for such a large swath of this country’s population.”

Visceral energy
Turning his attention to the play, Carl address the three-dimensionality and visceral energy of live theater and how it has amplified his memoir’s dramatic nuance and possibilities.

“The great thing about telling stories in theater is there are a lot of trans people telling the story,” Carl said. “The nuance, input, and generosity of people feeling under siege that comes from so many collaborators enters people’s bodies more viscerally than laying on the couch and reading the memoir. Being willing to do it in community is risk and vulnerability.”

Act II of “Becoming a Man” is actually a 20-minute public conversation held with the audience. “At the Act II at ART, 500 people would see the show and over 300 would stay. They were vulnerable with each other and left as a community,” he said.

Counter to what might be expected, there has never been a comment during Act II causing Carl to question the work or the complicated, open-ended story it tells.

“It’s hard for anyone to say something more critical than my own mind,” said Carl. “The thing that happened, I expected. There are so few trans stories out there, so I expected some outrage about how this is not how trans people are. That did not happen. Sometimes men saw masculinity different, a trans women had different family connections.

“I feel the team of collaborators pushed me in the writing. It had like 50 drafts from that period. They said, ‘You’re not hearing this because you’re so involved in it.’ It was a weird generosity from the audience. I kept waiting to crumble. People would not always fawn over it, but I’ve always stood by the fact that I’m a totally imperfect being. I wanted to create a play not about trans perfection, but just a human story. I transitioned at 50, so I’m not a young person still figuring it out. I had to hold onto own story and people accepted it.”

Deeper connection
The learning process has branched beyond his experience writing the memoir. In the book, Carl tells the story of the impact his transition had on his wife.

“As I watched it performed, you know, even in writing I could never latch onto why Lynette was so resistant,” said Carl. “I couldn’t feel it. Seeing it, I finally understood what my choice had done to her and her sense of self. Lynette came to the first preview and we found each other and just wept in each other’s arms. It connected us in a deeper way than ever before.”


Carl’s story becomes universal when viewed as an exploration of how life does not follow a planned or expected narrative. Most lives take devastating turns, include joy and humor, involve randomness and luck, and are subject to the social, cultural, and political winds that blow according to time and location.

“I never thought of my play as a trans play,” Carl said. “It has one big thread but are many. It’s that connection when we find each other. The generosity of spirit in the play allows people more to feel more sensitive in how they judge people and their identities.”

By putting his story through different filters, Carl has come to believe people fundamentally do not change. When he was young, he claims to have “delusional thoughts” that people who have been together a long time find making connection and change to adjust to each other’s preferences easier. Instead, he has come to realize long relationships require consistent, hard work; much like writing, or living as a trans person in America in 2026.

P. Carl’s ‘Becoming a Man,’ $35-$75, May 28–June 14, Z Space, 450 Florida St.
http://www.zspace.org
https://pcarl.com/