It’s a SPRINT

Ned Henry 6 days ago · (nedhenry.medium.com)

I’m trying to figure out all this shit out. I am going to treat each day I write as a new story with a new post. I’m not gonna take the time to number them but I edited some to try to get them in order but ….Probably just post one time a day. It looks like that’s the best way to use this site. I wish they have an autocorrect feature. (it’s starting to show up as I slow down — who knew) When I get cranking and pounding away like crazy I make ALOT of typos. I figure someday I’ll go back and fix them but it isn’t a priority right now.

Was just talking with my brother Dave. I told him I was in a SPRINT. I got a Brain MRI this morning (had a little hassle wit the Emory Communication system but I think hope we worked that out.) I went to the wrong facility. There are dozens of Emory facilities here all with codes for where they are. But the codes aren’t public and the addresses are not put on the appointments. Just the codes. So I went to the wrong place. But they worked me in. The do MRI’s in about 6 differnt facilities like most everything they do and this treatment program is going to have me getting in whereever they can get me in the fastest. I have appointments or Zoom calls with doctors every day next week. LABS, Tests, Zoom calls, in person doctor appointments. So much shit happening. Sue really helped me sort it all out and figure out the best way to ask the questions so I could get the answers I needed. She has been on both ends of this communication as nurse at the VA on the Emory payroll. She knows and let me tell you. I NEED her on my team. She is incredible and knows how to work this medical system. It’s not like how I could work the system in the business world. This is very different.

So Dave I were talking about this and I told him I was in a Sprint. We have the cancer sprinting through my body and now we finally have chemo (which IS curative) Sprinting to kill the cancer before it kills me. And I’m in this sprint on the side of the chemo. My job is to do everything I can to Sprint with the chemo. That means using all my energy and all my tools all the time to win this race. So Dave mentions to me remember when you did Sprints. Abslotuely ALL your energy is completely focused on the Sprint. You’re not thinking about the chemistry test or the girlfriend or anything else except getting to that finish line as absolutely as fast as you can. There is just ONE FOCUS. Well that’s exactly right — exactly how I feel. I don’t have time for anything else. I am in a Sprint. One of my tools is this blog where I can work out my thinking, my memories, my support system. I have a GREAT team that just keeps getting bigger and bigger every day. And if you’re reading this, you are on the TEAM.

I’ve gotten Dylan on random playing loudly in the background. You all know I love him and always have — When the Ship come in is blaring. One that I play on the guitar. Music is one of my tools. And Mindfulness mediation, and Translation, and reading. Read some of the TAO this morning in the wating room. I have to get walking into this mix next. I’ll walk in cirlces around the house. Have to use those hiking poles. Not walking as well lately. But I need to spend an hour doing nothing but walking around every day. And since the chemo I haven’t done that. I used to swim every day until that second biopsy when I got that sore on my leg that still hasn’t healed. I really miss that. easy on the joints. Good for the heart and well just kind of meditative and quiet. Oh well not now. Not with cancer and Covid and open wounds.

Shared some YouTubes with David. That one you told me about Jack with Terry Kath. Great guitar riff but not Jimi quality to me. Sharing YouTubes is a cool way to share music until we get this playlist database thing together. Here’s a couple I shared with him — a Neil Young cover and an old Dylan cover.

Just added those linbks after I had stopped. Enjoy .

MEMPHIS BLUES AGAIN just popped up on random play. Fucking AWESOME. I’m gonna go sing! Back in a minute!

GOD THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I PLAYED IT AS LOUD AS I COULD AND SANG AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. I KNOW ALL THE WORDS. IT WAS LIKE AN RHS. SO FREEING. Give a listen to the Blonde on Blonde version and play it loud. But for one chord progression that I never did quite master on the guitar, I could almost accompany myself. So Cathartic. I danced and sang. What a release. Hallelujah!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kh6K_-a0c

So back to business. That was a really nice interlude that popped up on random play. So David (Garry) this time and Allison. Are we gonna get this playlist sharing idea together. Not sure Spotify is the answer. It might not be doable at all. Heck this might be a business idea that produce revenue if it could be created. I don’t know. Need you guys to keep thinking about it. A buddy here was thinking maybe Drop Box would work — kluge-y but so is everything else. I hate that you can’t get classical and choral music on Spotify and also you can’t share obscure things like what Jack has on his playlists or my choral concerts. I want to make all that accessible to even someone like Ronna at a link someplace. So keep scratching your heads OK.

So music is one of my “tools”. Really important one. And this blogging thing is just so awesome for me to just get things out. Hope it’s not too hard for anyone reading it. But well truth be told and I think I said this before these are my thoughts my memories my hopes my dreams my reflections. And that’s all they are. And I don’t need anything at all from you — this is just for me to process what’s happening.

So nobody texted me or emailed me that photo from the Troop street backyard. I sure hope that one isn’t lost forever. It is priceless. I asked Cathy to send me a picture of her Dad. I wanna write about him a little bit. Mike Leahy reminded me about him last night when he called.

Jack’s in Florida with the Family. Jack and Carey working their jobs remotely this coming week and the kids going to school remotely this week. And OUT of the Chicago cold. Pretty awesome. And no schooldays missed since all the driving was done on holidays.

OK I’m rambling. I’m gonna stop for now and just walk for a while and listen to Dylan. Later.

Back but only for a minute. Ate a gummy and have been strectching on the table — calves, hamstrings, hips, and still need to quads. Then I’ll walk around the house for an hour or so. I haven’t moved since Chemo and I NEED to. Another tool in the toolbox.

But I wanted to add one link David reminded about Mark Garry. Remember when he was so obsessed with Golomb ruler?? David told me about the Wikepedia page. Mark is footnote 20 on the page. For the nerds:Golomb rulerIn mathematics, a Golomb ruler is a set of marks at integer positions along an imaginary ruler such that no two pairs…en.wikipedia.org

OK I’m gonna let this gummy kick in and go finish stretching and taking a stoll. I wanted to get these links in today’s post. Cool I can add links now.

Later. Heard this one while waiting for my brain MRI when I was listening to a Blues mix: Reminded me of Caroline. Remember her? Way way back. She used to sing it. I didn’t know it then. Flip of a coin and she was back in France. Geeze. A counselor on ZOOM today helped me process that remembering.

Been stretching for hour. Legs really needed it. Thought of a couple of things so before I spend and hour sauntering around on my feet….

I had an old cleaning lady a few years ago. Sweet old lady in er 80’s irish and Red Hair. I hope I remember her name beofre I finish telling this story. He eyesight wasn’t all that great but she did the best she could and I was happy to have the help. I’m not that big into cleaning as most of you know. Well I just boiled a cup of water in the microwave to make some tea. And forgot about it while I stretched. Went looking for my cup of tea and well I never made it. So I immediately thought of this woman. What was her name. I hit it for another 2 minutes — got the water boiling again and made the tea. Sue told me about these mug warmers at lunch on the deck today and I orddred one from Amazon. So your coffee and tea or whatever can just stay warm whiule you slowly drink it instead of it getting cold and funky and then well just not good no matter what you do. Oh well I digress. Well when this woman cleaned the microwave, she always put a cup of water in it and let it boil so that the whole inside of the microwave steamed up. It’s a really cool trick for cleaning your microwave when it gets all funky and shit with splashes of food or whatever. They all get some of that. I wiped my clean after i made the tea with a paper towel and viola, I have a clean microwave without doing shit. She died and her daughter called me one day to tell me she wouldn’t be coming over anymore. I was sad.

I’m gonna go walk for a while but I want to tell you about Gee Gee.

Taking a quick break. I have to do that when I walk lately. I’ll get back to it in a minute. I wash remembering skiing today on the phone with someone. Just taking the short breaks to rest a minute. Can’t do a long story. Need to talk though about cleaning more and how we were all taught to save shit in case we might need it someday. Dave and I talked about that a little bit today and I do have some thoughts. Back to the trail. Each time I come back it’s anothe little mini break with a quick thought. I just realized I could post YouTube clips of songs here — not videos but just songs from albums and you could listen to them while you read if you wanted. Amazing the shit you think of when you’re slightly stoned. Wait til I get really wasted. Who knows what will come out.

So GEE GEE. This is just a short break. Gee Gee was the elderly — like 75 or so woman who actually looked alot like Alice but softner and leaner and more athletic. And funnier and more fun. But she looked kinda like Alice. But Gee Gee was SO CLASSY. I mean she really had class. Wish I had a picture. She was full of life. She played golf her whole life and we played a few times. I went to the Masters with her one year. She got the tickets from her son who ran a pretty prestigious golf club near me then —

I volunteered at a US Amateur there and at East Lake one year. Played with Gee Gee few times there and at Chastain once I think. We didn’t play a lot. She played once a week with a group of women. Anyway, she could play a narrow 400 yard par 4 in 5 most of the time. She dusted me on the golf course. She could only hit it 120 or 130 yards anymore. She must have been amazing when she could drive. She hit it as straight as an arrow and she could putt. There’s hope for us old golfers yet. Anyway, I want to tell you about her as my long term bridge partner but I gotta get back to the trail. I could make a couple hundred dollars tomorrow in Fantasy football. I’m in second place and I think I have that sewed up already. That’s worth I don’t know maybe $300. First is probably a little over $500. But you know it’s just not worth it to me to spend a couple of hours researching who gonna play, who’s gonna get rested during week 17, who’s injured, what the match up are: WR vs DB, defenses all that shit. Value plays, odds over/unders — (high scoring games produce alot of points). And you have to work with a budget. A set Lineup — 2 RB’s, 3WR’s, FLEX, QB, DEF, TE. The better players cost more to use. And your total budget is limited. So you fit together the best lineup you can based on all that criteria and even more if you want. But you know….I just don’t give a shit. Not even gonna take the time to enter a lineup. I’m happy with 2nd. Pete can have first. btw — ***He brought me THE MOST INCREDIBLE Christmas dinner this year. Oh my GOD!! I got to eat GOURMET for 3 days. I’ll tell you about it sometime. OK out again.

So bridge is a great game. We all know Mom and Dad played often. And I know you remember that we had to be quiet when they had another couple over but we also mostly got a big box of See’s candy so there were perks for us too. That’s party bridge. You shuffle each hand, change partners, Really kind of a social thing in many ways. Not that dad didn’t take it seriously or mom either, but that’s not the game I played with Gee Gee. I hope you all know bridge is partnership game. I’m not going back that far into it. In duplicate bridge, there is nearly no luck of the draw — everybody plays the same hands in the same postion. N-S vs E-W. You pass them along in a board. And you change opponents every few boards — usually 3 or 4 depending on the size of the game. An average game would be between 24 and 32 boards (hands). And I played this game for alot of years with all different partners. It’s a game of strategy, communication, signally, defense, bidding, scoring, memory ands thinking and you are literally playing against every other team in the room. So If I play E and my partner then plays W, we’re competing again every other E-W team that night. And to get points you have to come in no worse than third and to get signifcant points you had to beat say 11 other teams. This is highly competitive. It ain’t a social game although most folks make some small talk and are friendly but they want to kick your fucking ass no matter how nice they seem and you want to kick theirs just as bad. Pete and I played a little bit. (Yeah he’s a very competitive guy.) I played with Mom a few times at La Costa. We did OK. Mom was a good player. Better than dad. Dad was little too reckless sometimes. Mom took more calculated risks than dad did. So Gee Gee and I played for many years. She was a delight and everybody loved her. She was the matriarch of a big family. Tons of kids and grandkids. They’d go to Sea Island every summer for a week as a whole family. Very close. Her daughter was named CHEESE and I ran into her at a bar when I was working at ATT when I was out for lunch. This was about a year after Gee Gee died. Well we did OK. Parnetrships have ups and downs and people change and well your goal in this game (until you get off the chase for points which I did just short of Life Master. You can google the criteia for Life Master if you care. I really did want to make that goal but you only get those last GOLD points at National tournaments and you have to win them against the best in the country. I tried one year in San Diego with a partner from here named Alvin but we didn’t really know about each other’s style that well and we didn’t score anything in 4 or 5 days of playing. Gee Gee got cancer at about age 80. It was terminal. She just decided that the way she would deal with is to just let it take her quickly and painlessly say all her good byes and move on. I wasn’t part of her dying process but I did go to the Memorial service. Just wanted to share Gee Gee with you all. She was happy with her life and decided it was OK to just let it go.

So this is a great way to do this. Walk some come back and write some and then go walk some and then write some….etc. Listening to music — first a Bob Marley mix and for last few hours a Taj mix. I’m not as complled tonight to jsut pound out my thoughts as fast as I can like I was last night. I’m more relaxed. It’s probably change every day. I don’t know haven’t really done any writing quite like this where I just sort of write what comes in my head and not really worry about it much. So my “trail” is the path from my living room around to the room off the deck where you Peg and Mark slept to the kitchen and back to the living room. I just go around and around and around. It’s good. Not worried about speed or anything. Stop and stretch if I need to but tonight I did so much stretching before I started that I haven’t needed anymore. GIANT STEP just come on. Consciousness works.

Oh clutter and cleaning. So the older red haired cleaning lady alwys used to bring useless shit over and ask me if I wanted it. And I always took whatever it was off her hands. Old sheets, books on tape, old DVD’s books — all kinds of shit. It’s hopefully mostly gone and donated by now. But I have this habit and I suspect some of you do too of just holding on to things in CASE you might need or wear them sometime. I think we got some of that from Mom. You know the next kid in line might fit in those clothes. You younger ones always got hand me downs. It was a depression era thing like not wasting food so just eat it. You can’t risk being without. Well I have collected way too much shit in this small house over the time I’ve been here. I’m not quite a hoarder but I never get around to really cleaning it out. I tried to watch Marie Kando on Netflix but she just didn’t Spark Joy for me. I feel guilty cuz if I die someone’s gonna have to help Jack get rid of it all. I’ll leave some instructions and wishes and stuff. I’ll try to work on it after this is all over but I have this SPRINT to take and I can’t stop sprinting right now to clean up shit.

I know I’m talking alot about death. It’s part of this process right now. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of it or feeling “negative” (if that’s really a thing) Or anything like that. It’s part of the process for me. Don’t worry about me. Just celebrate that I might be finally getting a little bit of my shit together. There are addictions and behavior patterns that I need to confront. Things I’ve done all my life. So talking about death is part of my process about cancer. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I’m facing it realistically and I’m racing with the Chemo against the cancer. That’s all. That is all I am focused on. Not small talk, not wasting any more time, not anything but doing whatI have to do to fight this 24/7. So if I don’t answer a call of a text it’s because I’m busy doing MY work. That’s all. I’ll get back eventually. I need you guys. I need your love and support. And I need to do my work. And doing my work is my highest priority.

Time for new mix. Taj just ran out. Let’s give Tom Waits a twirl. He’s good and bad depending on the album. Or rather he’s GREAT or he’s not IMHO.

Its’ midnight. I’m goona see if this posts and get some rest. Had to get up early today for the MRI. Talk to you tomorrow.