By Wendy Mandy, U.K.

September 28, 2019

If we can understand Transference, we can free ourselves up in the most incredible way.

     Fundamentally no one can do anything to you, they can only trigger your wish to learn about yourself and to grow. Between conception and the age of three we form all our neural pathways and our perceptions to our environment [read Gabor Maté].   

We incarnate with ancestral imprints (epigenetics) and parallel life imprints, into our mother’s womb and with this coding we develop patterns of behaviour from the perceptions of our first caretakers (primarily the mother). These patterns stay with us for life unless we do process work to understand ourselves and energetically change our frequency.  

Anyone we have a close relationship with (work colleagues, children, parents, friends, siblings) can bring up our emotional trauma patterns for us. If we understand this, even when it is very painful (as it was when we first experienced the traumas) we can come out of blame – “you did this/that to me” – and be able to say as the Hawaiian shamans say:


This ‘other’ has illuminated for you where you are stuck and need to grow. You have a chance to change the frequency of the relationship on your side into something positive – this clarity may mean that you come out of co-dependence (victim/persecutor/rescuer). You might not want to stay with this ‘other’ after such a revelation – you may not be able to work together, live together or be close friends with some people but you and they will grow! Hopefully you can make the relationship more fruitful and be more grateful!   

Consciousness like nature is benevolent and wants us to grow and flow. It is there to help us not punish us. LOVE is all around us at all times, it’s just that our pain sometimes feels too deep for us to move through it. However, as an adult we can parent that inner child who really was reliant on the ‘other’. We have power as an adult to change all our circumstances. The kind of work we offer targets the shift of old patterns. Make today the day you start taking responsibility for re-parenting yourself.~

Please email me for advice on who to see for 5 element acupuncture, shamanic work, transformational breath, osteopathy, nutrition, homeopathy, kundalini yoga etc. My books are closed but I know really good people. I am writing a book and can step up this kind of communication. Let me know what you would like me to write about! 

Love Wendy
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