How to practice ataraxia

Published in Personal Growth
Nov 23, 2023 (Medium.com)

No one can escape an emotional surge. But it’s what you do with it that determines who you are. Your approach to everything that irritates you defines your core emotional strength.
Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher who lived from 50 to 135 AD, had much to say about achieving a “monk level of calm.” For someone born into slavery, you wouldn’t expect him to write so much about staying calm.
Epictetus endured hardships from a young age. Yet, he emerged as a beacon of inner peace and resilience. His teachings are beautifully captured in his great work, The Enchiridion.
Despite his enslaved status, he showed a keen interest in intellectual pursuits, particularly philosophy. Epictetus studied under the Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus.
Epictetus would later become a prominent Stoic philosopher himself. He is known for his teachings on ethics, self-control, resilience and the life-changing value of inner calm in times of chaos.
Despite his humble beginnings, he became an esteemed teacher, attracting students from all walks of life. His teachings resonated with people seeking guidance in a world of uncertainty and suffering.
Epictetus’ core philosophy is about the distinction between what we can control and what we cannot. “It is not events that disturb people, but rather their opinions about events,” he famously proclaimed.
He explains in “The Enchiridion of Epictetus”: “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of things. Thus death is nothing terrible, else it would have appeared so to Socrates. But the terror consists in our notion of death, that it is terrible. When, therefore, we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved let us never impute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own views. It is the action of an uninstructed person to reproach others for his own misfortunes; of one entering upon instruction, to reproach himself; and of one perfectly instructed, to reproach neither others or himself.”
Epictetus’ statement beautifully captures the wisdom of his teachings: our perception, not the external world, dictates our emotional state.
The calm life mindset
Imagine you’re stuck in traffic, running late for an important meeting. It’s frustrating, right? You’re sitting there, stuck, and getting all worked up. But that won’t make the traffic disappear.
Epictetus would say, don’t let the drivers’ actions ruin your serenity. Or the traffic you can’t influence. Instead, accept the situation, take a deep breath, and use the time to listen to music.
Or ponder a proactive action you could take when you finally make it to your meeting. Think about it. You can’t control that guy cutting you off in traffic or your colleague’s last-minute request.
But you can practice shifting your perspective. You’re stuck, but you’re also safe in your car, listening to something interesting, maybe even enjoying a moment of peace in the middle of a hectic day.
As the Stoics would say, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” So, don’t fume about their actions. Next time life throws traffic at you, channel your inner Stoic, embrace the moment, and remember: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
You create unnecessary suffering for yourself when you choose to see events as negative or uncontrollable. However, the moment you shift focus to acceptance, you release yourself from the burden of worry and anxiety.
You assume “calm mode”. You stop trying to control external events or interpreting them in a way that makes you miserable.
He observed absolute emotional stability stems from accepting the limits of our influence. And focusing our energies on everything within our grasp — our own thoughts, perceptions, and actions.
It doesn’t mean we should suppress emotions or deny their existence. It means cultivating a conscious awareness of your thoughts and choosing how to respond to them. Epictetus observed many of our anxieties stem from irrational perceptions and self-imposed beliefs.
To assume a calm mindset, our task is to use our judgment as a guide to what is in our power. The wisdom to discern what you can control and cannot liberate you from the shackles of “uncontrollables.”
Epictetus’s teachings extend beyond merely accepting the uncontrollable; they empower us to cultivate inner peace when everything feels chaotic.
His wisdom invites us to challenge the validity of our thoughts and how we interpret life’s many experiences. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support your disturbing or distressing thoughts. Or if you are simply catastrophising.
Epictetus believed that our true freedom lies in our ability to govern our own thoughts and reactions rather than attempting to manipulate external circumstances.
Epictetus argued that a “detached perspective” changes everything in the face of setbacks. The end of all our emotional suffering lies in taming our urge to overthink things beyond our control.
Another Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, aptly stated, “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength in your power.”
The aim is “ataraxia”: a state of unwavering calm
If you wish to be calm, even in times of uncontrollable chaos, you must be free of the desire to dwell on the actions of others. And everything you can’t control, no matter how hard you try.
Epictetus thought freedom from emotional disturbance is not the absence of emotions but the ability to remain undisturbed by life’s ups and downs.
To achieve ataraxia, Epictetus advocated for a rigorous self-introspection. Scrutinise your judgements, thoughts and beliefs.
Identify those that are irrational or unhelpful. Start challenging your ingrained assumptions that consistently cause emotional pain. And cultivate a more rational perspective.
Stress, anxiety, and uncertainty are familiar words of our time. Epictetus’ wisdom can be your guide. You can find a new sense of calm if you dwell completely on your own actions and reactions.
Of course, it’s easier said than done. But it’s a practice we can cultivate over time. One way to do this is to remind ourselves of Epictetus’ quote:
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…”
We can always stay calm, even in times of uncontrollable chaos. We can achieve emotional stability, no matter what life throws our way.
For more content like this, join over 70K curious subscribers who receive my best essays and free curated tools for smarter living. Join us and get a free ebook (A collection of essays on life, meaning and getting things done).

Written by Thomas Oppong
·Writer for Personal Growth
Making the wisdom of great thinkers instantly accessible. As seen on Forbes, Inc. and Business Insider. For my popular essays, go here: https://thomasoppong.com



Before it got dark we kept looking at the sky; soft fleecy… Then we had another doze…; then here was a level crossing, at which were drawn up a long line of motor omnibuses and motors, all burning pale yellow lights. It was getting grey — still a fleecy mottled sky… All the fields were auburn with June grasses and red tasselled plants none coloured as yet, all pale. Pale and grey too were the little uncompromising Yorkshire farms. As we passed one, the farmer and his wife and sister came out, all tightly and tidily dressed in black, as if they were going to church. At another ugly square farm, two women were looking out of the upper windows. These had white blinds drawn down half across them. We were a train of 3 vast cars, one stopping to let the others go on; all very low and powerful; taking immensely steep hills… We got out and found ourselves very high, on a moor, boggy, heathery, with butts for grouse shooting. There were grass tracks here and there and people had already taken up positions. So we joined them, walking out to what seemed the highest point looking over Richmond. One light burned down there. Vales and moors stretched, slope after slope, round us. It was like the Haworth country. But over Richmond, where the sun was rising, was a soft grey cloud. We could see by a gold spot where the sun was. But it was early yet. We had to wait, stamping to keep warm… There were thin places in the clouds and some complete holes. The question was whether the sun would show through a cloud or through one of these hollow places when the time came. We began to get anxious. We saw rays coming through the bottom of the clouds. Then, for a moment, we saw the sun, sweeping — it seemed to be sailing at a great pace and clear in a gap; we had out our smoked glasses; we saw it crescent, burning red; next moment it had sailed fast into the cloud again; only the red streamers came from it; then only a golden haze, such as one has often seen. The moments were passing. We thought we were cheated; we looked at the sheep; they showed no fear; the setters were racing round; everyone was standing in long lines, rather dignified, looking out. I thought how we were like very old people, in the birth of the world — druids on Stonehenge; (this idea came more vividly in the first pale light though). At the back of us were great blue spaces in the cloud. These were still blue. But now the colour was going out. The clouds were turning pale; a reddish black colour. Down in the valley it was an extraordinary scrumble of red and black; there was the one light burning; all was cloud down there, and very beautiful, so delicately tinted. Nothing could be seen through the cloud. The 24 seconds were passing. Then one looked back again at the blue; and rapidly, very very quickly, all the colours faded; it became darker and darker as at the beginning of a violent storm; the light sank and sank; we kept saying this is the shadow; and we thought now it is over — this is the shadow; when suddenly the light went out.









