Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? 
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness.  (The audience laughed so long and hard, it took up almost half the show!) 

Q. Do female frogs croak? 
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. 

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? 
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 

Q. Now listen carefully, Paul… during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?
A. Paul Lynde: I’ll say the yo-yo!

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? 
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark. 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? 
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. 

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? 
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb. Can you detect light
A: Paul Lynde:  Only during ballet practice.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Q. When is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave?
A. Paul Lynde:  When your house is surrounded by police.

(Courtesy of William P. Chiles)