David Thurman · Apr 11 · Medium.com
When Benjamin Franklin told of the only certainties in life, he failed to mention what is arguably the most important: suffering. It does not matter your background, upbringing, or circumstances in life, suffering will surround you in one form or another.
Whether you experience it through the loss of someone you love, a sense of helplessness, or even the infliction of physical pain, everyone must face the hardships of life and the tumultuous burdens put on them. But despite what most people strive to do, this suffering is not something we should avoid and diminish. On the contrary, this pain and suffering is the only thing that provides us any meaning in life.
Around 2500 years ago, a young prince named Siddhattha Gotama was born in Nepal. After a prophecy destined him for greatness as an adult, Gotama’s father made sure to prevent him from ever experiencing suffering or hardship. He kept him isolated in a palace for nearly 30 years wherein he was provided anything he could ask for: endless money and gems, servants, and women. In essence, he lived the hedonistic lifestyle that countless people dream of, void of any sort of pain or suffering. What he found though, was a life of dissatisfaction.
After deciding to venture into the nearby town and leave his palace of pleasures, he saw for the first time sickness, old age, and death. He realized that these forms of suffering were an inescapable future that he, along with the rest of humanity, was destined for. Instead of retreating back to his palace and continuing in his hedonistic ways, he embraced the suffering and gave up all his worldly riches. It wasn’t until he understood the suffering of the world, and accepted it, that he truly found tranquility and meaning in life. His acceptance allowed him to reach a point of tranquility his followers deemed Nirvana and he would go on to be known as Buddha.
This same sentiment can be seen all throughout literature. In an effort to create some utopia, many novels describe societies that remove any sort of pain and suffering from the lives of its citizens. Of such books, Brave New World and The Giver both demonstrate the effect this “utopia” has on the people in it. The people of Brave New World live the hedonistic life that so many desire while The Giver is full of people who have removed all suffering by dulling their emotions to the point of nonexistence. In essence, the people in both societies hardly have to experience any sort of pain or hardships.
What soon becomes clear to the reader and the protagonist of each novel however, is that this painless life becomes void of all meaning. In order to protect the citizens from the pain of a broken heart, the societies completely remove love from their lives. The relationships amongst the Brave New World people are purely hedonistic bouts of sex while in The Giver, families are randomly put together and encouraged to keep distance relations. To stop the pain of unrealized desires, both societies remove such desire altogether. The citizens of The Giver have their lives completely dictated and lack the concept of personal aspirations. Brave New World’s people are handed everything they could possibly want, only to realize this life of hedonism removes the innate value of accomplishing and attaining your dreams.
The meaning of these books and the life of the Buddha is simple: a life of little suffering is attainable, but you must first detach yourself from anything that holds meaning. For example, in order to avoid the pain of losing those you love, one need but never love in the first place. Or to prevent yourself from never knowing the sorrow of an unattained dream, simply stop having aspirations in the first place.
The only way to truly avoid suffering is to simultaneously avoid the things that make life worth living. Suffering and meaning provide us with two opposites of the same coin. The ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao-tzu, describes this same balance that can be seen in all things:
When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.
Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.
– Tao Te Ching by Lao-tzu
The final example of this necessary evil comes from the late 18th century as America was fighting to earn its independence from Britain. Amidst the talks of seceding and a revolution, the people of America were frightened of the possible pain and hardships such a revolt would lead to. They could not decide if going through such a tumultuous time would really be worth any possible outcome. In an effort to persuade his fellow men into joining arms together, Thomas Paine demonstrates this same lesson with a type of eloquence only he could surmount:
[W]e have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.
-Thomas Paine
This is all not to say that suffering is enjoyable in some masochistic way. It undoubtedly brings about the lowest points any one of us will experience in life. The point though, is to keep in mind that these dark depths are the only thing that lets us know what true bliss is. The toll of a broken heart or loss of a loved one is nearly unbearable, but having never experienced that love and being left to live a life in isolation is a burden far worse. Being deprived of our dreams and desires can bring with it feelings of disappointment and regret, but to be handed everything we want is to rip away any shred of meaning it possesses. While the hardships we face can seem unbearable, they are what innately shows us the greatness and meaning life has to offer. In the words of Fyodor Dostoevsky,
The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
If you liked this article, you might enjoy some of my other work:Escapism: The Final FrontierSurviving in our technological Brave New Worldmedium.comWhat the Holocaust and Stoicism can Teach us About Living a Meaningful LifeFor many years, I have waded through countless philosophies, ideas, and beliefs to help better my life. Throughout all…medium.com
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