When I was 15 this other boy called me gay and not a real man because I didn’t want to sit down next to him and jack off to porn.

Not even slightly exaggerating here.

“Real men never say no to sex”

I saw a video of a woman saying “Real men don’t eat peanut butter and jelly” and I was flabbergasted.

“Sleep on their stomachs”

A guy at work described something his daughter did as “cute” and then some douche told him that men aren’t supposed to call things cute.

A little kid told me that when I said his little drawing was cute. “Boys aren’t allowed to say cute or pretty”

Once saw a woman on twitter say something like “if a man is too eager when the free bread gets to the table that’s sus” and I was just blown away by that one

Fellas, is it gay to be hungry?

Wear sunscreen.

Oh yeah, I know when I see healthy, youthful skin on a guy I immediately think “this is not a real man!”

Real men don’t put cream in their coffee. I responded with, “real men don’t give a shit what other men think of their beverage choices.”

Not sure if it counts, but a young woman wouldn’t sell me a Luna Bar because it’s made for women. I said “No. It’s marketed to women. But I like this flavor.” She said “I can’t sell it to you. It has estrogen in it.” We had a frustrating back and forth before I finally convinced her that I was willing to take the risk and she sold it to me.

She thought that a bar had HORMONES?

My friends once introduced me to this guy who was talking REALLY LOUDLY.

I thought maybe he didn’t realize how loud he was being so I said “you’re a little loud.”

Dude said “real men talk loud. Chicks like that.”

I did not like that.

“Read the Instructions”

I’ve heard real men don’t drink tea.

Wannabe tough guy: “Real men don’t cook… Only women and gay men cook.”

Me: “What about male Chef’s like Gordon Ramsay?”

Response A) They’re closeted gay men.

Or

Response B) A Chef is a paid position so it doesn’t count.

Use umbrellas.

This one is hilarious and true.

I once went across the street from my apartment to pick up a pizza in the rain, using an umbrella to keep dry and a group of guys about my age were running from awning to awning getting absolutely soaked. As I walked past, one of them was like “Nice umbrella,” in a very condescending tone.

At least one of his friends goes, “Dude, we are literally soaking and you’re making fun of his umbrella.” It was pretty funny.

“wash their ass because it makes them gay”

(Reddit.com)