It’s probably not what you think

Sandra Pawula

Published in The Taoist Online

6 days ago (thetaoist.online)

The most popular definition of mindfulness originated with Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., Professor of Medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

You see Kabat-Zinn’s definition almost everywhere. It’s plastered across social media in countless memes. It’s quoted in an endless number of articles on modern-day mindfulness. It’s difficult to miss if you’re interested in mindfulness.

It is:

“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.”—Jon Kabat-Zinn

Kabat-Zinn sometimes adds, “…in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”

I admire Kabat-Zinn. He spearheaded the modern mindfulness movement through his world-renown Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, which first opened its doors in 1979.

Kabat-Zinn’s MBSR teachings have helped thousands of people manage stress, cope with pain, and improve focus and productivity. I’ve taken his MBSR course more than once myself.

Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness works just fine in a modern-day context. But is it the same as the Buddhist definition of mindfulness?

Let’s investigate.

Remembering in Mindfulness Meditation

The Pali word “sati” is universally translated as “mindfulness” across all Buddhist traditions. The primary connotation of sati is to remember, to recollect, to call to mind.

You can find this meaning of sati as early as the Buddha’s teachings in the Satipatthana Sutta, known in English as The Discourse on the Foundations of Mindfulness. The same explanation has been taught by later Buddhist scholars such as Vasubhandu, Asanga, and Tsongkhapa.

But the main point is that we have to remember to remember.

As you can see, there’s no mention of the present moment or non-judgement either—not that they’re irrelevant in mindfulness practice. But the main point is that we have to remember to remember.

In the context of mindfulness meditation, what is it that we remember? What is it that we recollect?

1. You recollect the instruction and the method or you wouldn’t be able to practice mindfulness at all. And you may practice it in correctly. In this case, you’re recalling something you learned in the past.
2. You remember the object of your practice. In the first stage of mindfulness you typically focus on an object like the breath, a physical form like a statue or a flower, or a sense experience like hearing the sounds that arise around you. You lightly place your attention on the selected object. But you have to remember to keep it there, don’t you? This is present-centered mindfulness.
3. You recollect what to do if your mind becomes agitated or dull and you lose your mindfulness. This entails remembering what to do in the future.

Strictly speaking, in a Buddhist context, mindfulness can involve the past, the present, and the future.

Mindfulness and Remembering in Everyday Life

Mindfulness isn’t limited to meditation. In fact, we practice mindfulness meditation so we can be more mindful in every moment.

While taking my calcium this morning, I realized how uncomfortable it would be if I were to mindlessly swallow the small plastic tube contained in the bottle, presumably for freshness. It’s about the same size as the calcium capsules, making it a scary possibility.

It would be easy to do, wouldn’t it?

When we’re lost in thought, we sometimes don’t see what’s right in front of us—the small plastic tube in the vitamin bottle, the freeway exit, or a critical instruction on the paper in our hand.

Aside from possibly saving you from choking, mindfulness can assist you in another critical way. It can help you reduce negative thoughts and emotions and increase positive ones, thus leading to a happier life.

The Indo-Greek King Menander I (Milinda in Pali), who ruled a large ancient kingdom from 160 to 130 BCE, asked the enlightened Buddhist monk Nagasena, “What is mindfulness?”

Nagasena replied:

“Mindfulness when it arises it calls to mind wholesome and unwholesome tendencies with faults and faultless, inferior and refined, dark and pure, gathered with their counterparts.”

Nagasena’s definition of mindfulness intimately connects the practice with happiness and suffering, which results from acting upon wholesome or unwholesome tendencies.

When you get caught in anger, jealous, or envy, you’re likely to feel unhappy, right? When you focus on peace, kindness, and compassion, you’re likely to feel happier, right?

A mindful person is aware of the consequences of their action.

The regular practice of mindfulness creates more space in your mind. In that space, you can more easily discern between thoughts, words, and actions that bring benefit and ones that bring harm. With this clarity of mind, you can make wiser choices.

As such, mindfulness leads to ethical discipline (sila in Sanskrit).

Simply said, a mindful person is aware of the consequences of their action. They resist knee-jerk reactions based in attachment or aversion. They consistently choose to engage in beneficial behaviors.

That’s a simple formula for happiness.

The Buddhist definition of mindfulness automatically includes a caring attitude (Skt. “apramada”).

Mindfulness requires a mix of several different mental factors. The primary ones include mindfulness (the ability to remember to stay present to the object of your attention), alertness, and a caring attitude.

The caring attitude protects the mind from straying into the negative and keeps it on a positive track. Thus, mindfulness automatically encompasses ethical discipline (“sila” in Skt), which is often absent as a focus in modern mindfulness.

“Mindfulness meditation should be more than just watching what you are doing. What you really need to watch is your motivation.” — Thubten Zopa Rinpoche

Concluding Thoughts

The definition of mindfulness differs between modern-day mindfulness and Buddhism. But it’s not a matter of one being right and the other being wrong.

The popular definition of mindfulness originated with Jon Kabat-Zinn and his Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program, introduced in 1979. It can serve you well if you’re engaged in mindfulness practice for practical reasons—like less stress, less pain, or less anxiety.

The Buddhist definition of mindfulness adds the connotation of remembering, recollecting, and calling to mind. In this context, mindfulness also encompasses a caring attitude, which can make the difference between your behaviors resulting in happiness or suffering.

What do you think? Does it help to have the expanded Buddhist definition of mindfulness or are you satisfied with the popular one?

For more inspiration, sign up for my bi-monthly Wild Arisings newsletter and receive access to free self-discovery resources.

Sources:

• Mindfulness: The Mental Factors Involved by Dr. Alexander Berzin
• The Way of Shamatha Retreat, Session 6 with Buddhist scholar Alan Wallace
• My 25 years of Buddhist study and practice.

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Written by Sandra Pawula

·Writer for The Taoist Online

Essays to calm your mind, ease your heart and connect with your inner wisdom. Writer | mindfulness expert | trauma survivor. https://sandrapawula.substack.com/

Julia Pugachevsky 

Sep 27, 2023, 2:45 PM PDT (Insider.com)

• Emotional dysregulation is when you feel swept away by your emotional reactions.
• A psychologist recommended a few simple exercises to try when you feel dysregulated.
• They involve flexible thinking, positive thinking, and mindfulness.

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Everyone experiences intense emotional reactions from time to time. But if you find yourself feeling swept away by emotions to the point where it’s impacting your relationships and quality of life, you may be struggling with emotional dysregulation.

Emotional dysregulation isn’t just being hot-headed. Common in people with ADHD, autism, and borderline personality disorder, it’s also linked to other symptoms like rejection sensitivity and impulsive behavior.

But by learning to regulate your emotions, you can feel calmer around people and more grounded in your decisions, a therapist told Insider.

Dr. Lara Honos-Webb, a clinical psychologist, previously told Insider that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), emotion-focused therapy (EFT), and exercise can all help with emotional dysregulation symptoms.

But sometimes, a strong emotion hits us before we have time for an outdoor run or therapy session. That’s where some simple thought exercises can come into play, and they’re easy enough to do wherever you are.

Honos-Webb shared five quick, easy ways to self-regulate when it feels like your emotions are spiraling out of control.

1. Picture yourself in the future

Honos-Webb said that all these exercises promote “flexible thinking,” or encouraging yourself to see things in a new light.

For example, in the thick of intense feelings, it’s difficult to remember that a hard moment isn’t forever, but just a blip in your life. This exercise can help you remember that.

“Imagine yourself in the future five, 10, or 20 years from now,” Honos-Webb said. “What would that self say to you now about your current situation and emotional reaction?”

For example, if you’re overwhelmed at work and tempted to yell at your boss, do you think future-you will see it as sticking up for yourself? Or will you likely see it as an overreaction that puts your job at risk?

2. Imagine a loved one’s reaction

To help you step outside of yourself more, Honos-Webb suggested imagining the perspective of someone in your life who truly cares about you, such as a family member, close friend, or partner.

If they saw you abruptly exit a group chat because no one responded to your text about hanging out, would this person agree with you? Or would they ask more questions and encourage you to not assume the worst?

3. Give yourself a set time to feel everything

Sometimes, there’s just no getting around it: you feel devastated, and need to let it out.

To keep big feelings from taking over your entire day, Honos-Webb recommended grabbing a journal and setting a timer for 15 minutes. “Give yourself permission to write everything you feel and then commit to only diving into that emotion for 15 minutes,” she said.

If you need to revisit that same feeling, you can do it for 15 minutes the next day. It helps you notice the feeling, but practice setting boundaries around how often you let it consume you.

4. Change the negativity channel

Honos-Webb said that emotional dysregulation often leads to “discounting the positives.” Instead, you only focus on the things that are going wrong.

In an exercise she calls “changing the channel,” you can try to acknowledge that you feel bad while also pushing yourself to look for alternate, positive perspectives.

For example, let’s say you were rejected from your top-choice of graduate school programs. Once you’ve processed the disappointment of being rejected, you can move on to different ways of looking at it. Maybe it would’ve been too expensive anyway, or maybe you were unsure about that life path and now you get to explore another one.

Honos-Webb said this practice aids in “shifting emotional focus after processing distressing feelings,” so that you can find solutions instead of remaining stuck.

5. Engage in mindfulness

Honos-Webb said that mindfulness, which “involves self-observation and self-compassion,” is a key practice for emotional regulation. Regularly meditating, even for short bursts of time, can teach you to accept your feelings as they come up, which reduces self-blaming and the intensity of your emotional pain.

To practice this, try meditating once a day for just five minutes. After a week, lengthen it to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. If you need help, there are many free meditation apps that can walk you through guided meditations, or you can even ask ChatGPT to write a meditation schedule for you.