No one ever told me it was wrong to think outside of the box but somehow I got that impression that to step outside a proscribe procedure or pray differently was forbidden. When I first took The Prosperos’ seminar called Translation I saw it as a kind of prayer. I diligently wrote my translations and saw my perception change. I saw my world was changing. Like Job I said life is good. Every time I translated I looked more and more at the importance of keeping the structure as perfect as I could.
Then a real crisis came in my life. My 2 ½ year old daughter lay dying in the ICU. The illness was rarely survived. Eyes filled with tears I could not see to translate on paper. I called someone not sure who, who put out the word to the translation service… but I began translating in my head… starting with the Truth syllogism … going through the first step I reach the phrase complete, whole and perfect in my reasoning. I was stunned. How could I see perfection in this horrible illness that was sucking the life from my daughter?
After her death letters and notes flooded our mailbox. People said such things as “this was God’s will, you and your daughter choose this, it was predestination, on and on. My head and heart screamed in rebellion. How come translation didn’t work? I knew intellectually this was a tool for rethinking what our senses were reporting… It isn’t a process about changing physical circumstances. And yet if the consciousness is changed inherently the out picturing of our consciousness, the physical world should change.
At the end of the first three months of mourning I found myself pregnant and afraid. Afraid this evil that took my daughter would take the life growing in me. For the first time I began to explore Truth. Not Truth as some pretty and perfect concept, but Truth that was a driving force. I saw that Truth could appear cloven in our consciousness and a Truth that allowed children to die and really bad people to hurt other people.
It was and is apparent that Truth/God must in some manner see life, experience consciousness different than my human mind. This was serious stuff I was, to my thinking, challenging the very idea that Truth was perfect. I began thinking about duality and evil. The disease was evil, bad and separate from God.
Like Job I began to see evil everywhere. My consciousness, my intellect, and heart would not rest. Truth as I had known was whole, complete and perfect, but this was not whole, and not perfect by a long shot. It was to take me 2 ½ years before I had an eureka moment of understanding. I am not sure what I Translated (sense testimony) but all at once I saw it all. Consciousness was not limited to a body, was confined to my thinking. I saw that the seeds of constructs (beliefs and assumptions) are in us all. When the right conditions (proper soil and water) are present the seed will germinate. Out of this germination can come what appear to be great evil, pain, and sorrow. But out of it can come great freedom.
The working word in this illumination is the word appear. With all sight our vision relies on Not what we see but what our mind tells us we are seeing. We see nothing but light, which our unconscious mind labels according to our experiences and beliefs. For the first time I saw that perfection was not in sight, but in the mind. Truth was indeed perfect, ever evenly present without beginning or end, total, whole, complete. I had an eureka moment of knowing, seeing, experiencing that Truth didn’t reside in anyone’s pocket. No one had more Truth than anyone else it was indeed every star and blade of grass. It was what my mind saw as evil, bad, and imperfect, for Truth is all that exist.
Life is not about humanly perfect, but being engaged with all that comes to you. Truth is all there is. It does not depend on your recognition of it as good or perfect it just is. It is our thinking and knowing that turns it into the palate we call life. If we stay engage and continue to paint and repaint our life sooner or later we get to a place where we understand we have never left the father and like the prodigal son we find that the feast has always awaited us, that we have always been the child of Truth and the understanding of Truth being all there is is now present.
Translation and Releasing the Hidden Splendour (Radical Forgiveness) are life long acts of unveiling lifting the fog from our minds and thinking. It is remembering no matter what our senses seem to be saying Truth is all there is ever evenly present.
Life is not perfection or the quest for perfection, but being engaged and mindful of our actions and reactions.