A Basic Guide To Dream Interpretation (theonion.com)

Dreaming is a universal human experience, and many similar themes arise in people’s dreams the world over. The Onion provides some context for interpreting these common dreams:

  • Unprepared For A Test: This is a classic dream trope shared by chronic underachievers and losers in every culture
  • Spousal Infidelity: Likely a result of random synaptic firing, and not suspicions about why your partner’s book club meets three times per week
  • Falling: A sign of the dreamer’s inability to fly
  • Public Nudity: Experts believe this is a subconscious expression of one’s deepest, most urgent desires
  • Blood And Viscera: Projection of past trauma suffered at a Steely Dan concert
  • Celebrated Actor F. Murray Abraham Giving You A Sponge Bath: Just relax and enjoy
  • Flying: The brain’s only way of processing the city council’s recent decision to raise bus fares 50 cents
  • Birds: Dreaming about birds could mean that you love, hate, or feel impartial to birds
  • A Loving Husband, Two Amazing Kids, And A Career That’s Challenging But Fulfilling: You’ve worked hard for all this, and now it’s yours. You’ve earned it.

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