Many in our community have lived in pain and confusion this past year. What we thought we understood and knew was not to be. Our country and community have been thrown into a state of chaos and pain. There are no quick answers for any of us. We each must find our Truth and reality in finding resolution with this time in history.
Listening is one of the most important skills we need to help us understand where we have come from and where we are headed. It is the most important skill in arbitration and resolving conflicts. Conflicts of personal and public nature can only be resolved when we take the time to listen to what is actually being said. For us to find resolution (NOT COMPROMISE) we must resolve personal interior conflicts and come to terms within our consciousness about our countries current state of affairs. It is my experience that by listening we may find paths we did not know existed.
A friend on Facebook posted a saying that reminded me of how important it is to listen and silence our minds. Most of us try to listen but we seem to hear what we want to hear so we can reply. Fifty seconds out of every 60 minutes of listening is our mind preparing to make a reply. Hence we only hear a small portion of what is actually being said. Because we hear does not mean we are listening.
Finding the Silence
Filling our ears with all we want to say we miss what is being said. The ego mind is fast to respond to any conversation. It feels more intelligent and in control if it is talking. When it’s not speaking verbally it will be filling our head with chatter. The ego mind fears the silence, the space between the words. Words and the meaning we place on words help define the dream state and the illusions of the past and future. We depict the past in words and provide the future a framework built from words. The incessant stream of words from the ego mind allows no room for silence. If there were to be silence the ego mind would cease to exist in that moment.
The silence of listening is an art. When we allow our being, our whole being to be in a state of silence we hear what has yet to be said. The reality is not in the words, but in the space between the words. This space holds silence. The words form relationships to each other and have meaning because of the space between, the silences. Without the silence, the words have no meaning. When we allow the silence to fill our being we allow the reality to speak. The reality of our being can only be heard in the silence. Be silent and hear what you have not heard. One of the most healing acts any of us can perform is to listen to another. This does not mean advising, or coaching or counseling but silently focused in an attending state of consciousness…listening. Fully listening. There is a great cry of pain in our world. Pain and violence are a direct result of deaf ears and separation of spirit. When we feel we are not heard when we feel disconnected we experience pain.
When we listen and know we are heard, we feel connected. Listening creates relationships. When we are connected our pain of separation lessens and disappears. Our spirit feels connected and whole. When we listen to another genuinely listen it is an act of spirit and act of caring and love.
The act of listening can be self-healing. If you listen really listen to your own being…to the truth of you, your I AM I… you will find a great deal of your pain of separation ceases. We can heal ourselves by listening to our spirit…we can rid ourselves of the depression by listening to another. Be quiet and hear!
Suzanne Deakins, H.W.M. is the publisher of Q Press and One Spirit Press. You may find similar topics in her book “When God Whispers” an ontological discourse on similar topics. Her work appears on Amazon.com and other online retailers. For more on listening see Wendell Johnson’s book “Your Most Enchanted Listener.”
Your missive this morning moved me at a deep level. It parallels the monastic tradition of Spiritual Direction in the intimate action of setting self aside so the listener can feel the changes of tone, spacing, and language by the speaker so that those emotional tags can be further reflected on and enlarged by the speaker for the emional unpacking of feelings sand decisions made without reflection. The Benedictines felt truth could only be found in the silence of the self that is then distilled into those prescious periods of vocal reflection with a spiritual director, the one who directed the speaker into more profound self knowledge.
I also saw And felt the materials that are developing around conflict resution. Much of conflict is directly related to internal dialogue that “paints the picture and dialogue about the OTHER” that becomes the held reality, so that we are unable to seperate this cognitive picture from the living person standing and speaking in front of us. Much of conflict resolution involves the Mediator/Therapist helping the Conflicted people to own and express their internal storyline about the OTHER, to set it aside so the Conflicted can meet without these catastrophic stories interfering with the meeting and exchange of authentic and NEW pieces of perception by both parties in the prior conflict.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. One last comment– our Jewish brothers and sisters believe that Revelation occurs ONLY in the space between the words of the Pentateuch— and this then transfers to interaction in their community of faith. They know each other better by the unsaid but felt spaces between the said words that occur between them.
Thank you.
Thank you Sue,
The space between holds, for me, the unseen essence of existence.
Much love,
S