Stillness

By Gwyllm Llwydd

March 28, 2020

Well, I was actually in the first real day of quarantine yesterday, as I had been caregiving up to Friday, and by 4:00 I was going Bat Shit Crazy. A slow game of scrabble, a quick walk around the loop (no one out!) a bit of coding/WP f**k-wittery, 1 Beer, 1 Stir fry, 1 Movie/Comedy, and an hour of working on a new piece of art finally got me to chill.

Learning stillness again. Heavens, I used to be able to do stillness, meditate, and all of that. It went away, well, life happened.

I slept all night long. This, has been a rarity. I get up, use the loo, lay awake, worry. Sometimes I awake at 3:30, 4:30 and lay awake. That started to go a couple of nights ago.

Surrender. I cannot stress anymore about what I cannot personally fix. I will do what I can do to help, and to alleviate, but it is all local now.

Whilst Covid Caligula/Novel Covid Nero fiddles, the system is finally tipping over.

I grew up thinking the system was monolithic having been raised in the military etc. Some of us have been struggling to change it (and this is multi-generational going back before I was born) but of course, we know (and it has been a long time coming) it isn’t. The smallest thing just dropped it to its knees.

The smallest thing…

For those of us who have worked to change the world since we were young, we are at a remarkable moment. Now, we must come together even in our isolation.

We can do this.

Love,
G

(old photo, buy hey!)

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