“Mommy and Me: My First Duality” by Mike Zonta, H.W., M.

Lately I’ve been doing an Alex Gambeau.  That is, I’ve been Translating every day.  I try not to leave the house every day without having done that.  [Translation is a 5-step syllogistic method of comparing axiomatic universal truths against the relative truths of the senses.]

Anyhow, a few days ago, I did a Translation and my 5th step conclusion was:  “Truth/I am alone.”  Or just “I am alone.”  That may sound negative because the word alone has some negative connotations.  But it also has some positive connotations. Being alone means that there’s nobody out there to judge you, for example.   There’s nobody out there for you to try to impress; nobody out there whose expectations you need to meet.

That’s pretty liberating.

So later that day I took a walk to Mt. Davidson, the highest point in San Francisco.  On the way down, I felt somebody watching me.  I never was one of those who thought that God was watching my every move.  But I still feel I’m being watched sometimes.  So I asked myself in the spirit of RHS {Releasing the Hidden Splendour or RHS is a class which allows us to give up old outmoded identities for our real identity as being itself, consciousness itself]:  When have I felt this way before?

Then I realized.  I was watched as a child all the time and, even though I’m sure it was done for the best of reasons, I didn’t always like being watched all the time.  In fact, sometimes I resented it.

Once upon a time, as a child, all was one.  Then I had my first moment of duality.  It wasn’t me and God.

It was me and Mommy.  Mommy was my Watcher.  Mommy was the great Other.  Mommy was my first duality.   My gateway to multiplicity.

And so I prayed:

My Mommy, who art on Earth,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Queendom come.
Thy will be done on earth.
Give me this day my daily bread.
And forgive me my trespasses,
As I forgive them that trespass against me.
And lead me not into temptation,
But deliver me from evil.
For thine is the queendom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.

At least that was my then-awareness in my own private little self-created  matriarchy.

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